Toshikazu Kawaguchi - Tales from the Café

When she did, Goro looked at her with a serious expression.

‘I don’t think he considered that you would worry so much over it,’ he pronounced.

Fumiko didn’t know what he was talking about.

‘He had complete faith in you.’

‘But I don’t know what I should do!’

‘No, no. He didn’t have faith in you as a woman.’

‘Huh? What are you saying?’

‘He had faith in you as a systems engineer.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Think about what he said. The conditions for which he didn’t want you to bring Asami were, one, if he had not died, and two, if after he died she was married and happy.’

‘OK.’

‘If you see it simply as a program that judges whether those conditions apply, you can dismiss any other conditions as not in the program…’

‘If Kurata’s conditions don’t apply, you go ahead.’

‘Right. For example, she might be happy, but she is not married. That doesn’t meet his conditions for not bringing her.’

‘…I see.’

‘Probably, knowing Asami better than you, Kurata set those absolute conditions as part of a way to help her recover from some kind of trauma.’

Now that he mentioned it, Fumiko had an idea what that trauma might be. Asami had had a miscarriage. She had also heard Asami say, It’s so scary to think I might have another.

‘In contrast, there is also the case where she is married but not happy, isn’t there? That case doesn’t meet the conditions of not bringing her either.’

‘OK. I get it now. Thank you!’ she said and immediately set off to meet Asami.

Fumiko always acted swiftly once she knew what needed doing. The agreed day and time of the meeting in the cafe was 7 p.m. on 25 December, Christmas Day. She of course didn’t reveal Kurata’s conditions when she told Asami that he was coming from the past at that time, but on hearing the news, Asami’s voice seemed to fade.

‘I see…’ she acknowledged, her mood visibly darkening.

When the day of Kurata’s visit arrived, Asami was absent from work without notice. People had tried contacting her, but she didn’t answer. Her colleagues started half-jokingly suggesting that she must have thought Christmas was more important than work. Only Fumiko knew the circumstances for her absence. ‘Less talk and more work, if you please,’ she ordered her team in a brisk manner.

Asami was probably agonizing over whether to meet him. Fumiko sent her a text.

I’ll be waiting in front of the cafe tonight at 7 p.m.

That night…

Around the station there stood many Christmas trees, decorated with lights that shone and sparkled. The place was bustling with people, and Christmas songs played from all directions. The cafe, however, was located on a side street, nestled among buildings some ten minutes’ walk from the station. Apart from a small wreath attached to the cafe’s sign, it was the same as any other day. The only light came from the main street, making it very dark. Compared to the liveliness of the area around the station, it felt lonely.

Fumiko stood waiting outside the ground-floor entrance.

‘Has it always been this dark?’ she muttered to herself, watching her foggy white breath.

Snow, which had been coming down in sprinkles since sunset, danced and fluttered, even in this narrow side street. Even an umbrella held to the sky collected only a tiny amount of snow.

She pulled her sleeve back from her glove, far enough to check her watch. It was already a little later than when she had agreed to meet Kurata.

But Asami had not shown up.

Her train might have been delayed because of the snow, which was also causing congestion on the roads as it settled. Normally, she would have rejoiced at such a romantic white Christmas. But tonight, this snow was a nuisance, causing her brow to furrow.

‘Asami… where are you?’

Fumiko tried phoning her a third time, but there was still no answer.

They’re not going to meet. She’s probably decided not to come.

She felt a little despondent at Asami’s decision, but it was her choice to make.

I should have used a bit more coercion to get her to come.

She was feeling a little apologetic and a little put-out.

What can I say to Kurata?

She was right outside the cafe, but she couldn’t face going in. She decided to talk to Kurata on the phone instead.

‘Er, Kurata, is that you? It’s Fumiko Kiyokawa… Uh-huh… About Asami… It’s all a little complicated… I told her that you’re coming today… I only told her a week ago… Right… Yeah, I’m so sorry. I overthought it… Anyway, it sounded like she was coming. Yeah… Uh-huh… Hu-hum, but she’s well. She was really sad for about six months, I guess. But she seems over it now… Yes… I’m really sorry. I’m thinking now I should have tried harder. I’m regretting it now… Huh?… Oh, yes. Thank you… Oh, you have to go soon? Goodness me… Anyway, I’m truly sorry… Yes, OK then…’

After she ended the call, she couldn’t help a nagging feeling of regret. The snow was cold and falling a little heavier now.

I may as well go home.

She had dragged her heavy foot one step, when…

‘Fumiko!’ said a woman’s voice behind her. Fumiko turned around to see a very out-of-breath Asami standing there.

‘Asami!’

‘Fumiko, is Kurata… still here?’

‘I’m not sure, but…’

She looked at her watch. He had said he would come at seven and it was now eight minutes past. Even if by good luck his coffee had not gone cold, he might have drunk it after ending the phone call. There wasn’t a second to lose.

‘Let’s go!’ urged Fumiko as she put her hand on Asami’s back and guided her down the stairs.

In front of the cafe door, Asami turned to her.

‘I need to borrow your wedding ring,’ she requested.

The ring was very special to Fumiko, and she had only received it last year.

I’ll ask later.

Not hesitating, she quickly pulled the ring from her finger and presented it to Asami.

‘OK, hurry!’

‘Thank you!’ Asami nodded her head in thanks and entered the cafe as the doorbell rang.

Staring at the space where Kurata had vanished, Asami let out a soft sigh.

‘I tried to move on, but I couldn’t forget Kurata… I ended up thinking I could never marry anyone else but him,’ she said, as her body shook slightly.

Looking at Asami, Fumiko just said, ‘Uh-huh.’ She could imagine being in her shoes.

I would feel the same if it were me.

She clenched her hand on her chest, she couldn’t find the words to say anything else.

‘But I remembered what he told me when I had my miscarriage. He told me that little baby had used the seventy days of its life to bring happiness into my life. He said that if I couldn’t find a way out of my unhappiness, then that would have been the result of the baby’s seventy days. But if I could find a way to be happy again, that is what the baby’s life would have brought me. Through that choice, I could allow its life to have meaning. I could create a reason for why my child was granted life. He told me that was why I had to try to be happy. He said that no one would have wished that more than my child.’

She stopped and started, relaying what Kurata had told her in a soft and trembling voice.

‘So, it made me think. I might not be able to get married right now, but I absolutely must be happy.’

‘Asami…’

‘Because if my happiness could become his happiness…’

Asami pulled the borrowed ring from her finger and gave it back to Fumiko. To make Kurata believe that she had got married, she had borrowed Fumiko’s ring and lied.