Chuck Palahniuk - Pygmy

“Take your seat, please,” say captain, say, “you boarded the westbound number fourteen bus, at the Lincoln Park stop.”

For official record, during escape host family residence, host sister and this agent did peer over sill of window, ogle assembly media parasites, ready equipments satellite broadcast and exploit events.

Floating tiny orange light, each trailing smoke of cigarette. Milling horde many journalist predator. Open cups steaming the odor grinded coffee beans stewed with scalded water. Single searchlight flares to illuminate media jackal, appareled uniform jacket with skirt, helmet of rigid hair, clutching microphone, jackal transfixed by flaring light say, “Behind me is the home of the Cedar family, where an unlikely hero has been their resident foreign exchange student…” Say, “Fuck.” Say, “Let’s try that from the top.”

Other searchlight activated, appear additional media buzzard and hyena taken stance before residence of host family. Squinting at light, speaking into glare, uniformed buzzard say, “A foreign exchange student is credited with stopping a gunman and saving the lives of several dozen students today …”

For evade bloodthirsting pack scavengers, host sister vacate residence out window of sleeping chamber, lead this agent grappling foliage, balanced along utmost limb Castanea dentata . Immersed deep stealth shadow, navigate limb, second limb, scale trunk so gain access limb provided Quercus rubra . Navigate limb, clutching foliage until gain access lateral limb Juglans nigra , until more removed of vicinity jackal hordes, searching floodlights, and satellite betrayal system.

Ensconced aboard first public conveyance, crowded among numerous elbows and knees American proletariat, jostled sway and jolt, list generated from defects in roadway, flaws vehicle suspension, host sister train own face of black paint, cast eyes upon this agent to say, “Your little friend … France?” Say, “She really knocked up?”

Could be flash-fire-quick instant. Wham-crack . Bone elbows spear-pointed sharp bent to soar, Soaring Eagle Double Strike, bonk-conk , to left-right temple soft spots of cat sister forehead. Hard hit, zing-crunch , to hammer through layer of black hair. Could be, pry. Force open, dry, all friction, all peel of tender membrane until humpy-humpy dripping head of weapon wedge room in virgin slit of vagina muscle.

Perhaps only reason to blame affection, hands of operative me not already strike host sister to ground, render cat sister unconscious so able enter with turgid weapon, commit Pumping Rabbit Maneuver, squirt-squirt , empty contents testicle awash viable American eggs.

Perhaps true profound affection defined by no entering vagina without consent.

Ensconced aboard second public conveyance, host sister say, “That would be my folks’ worst nightmare, me hatching some gross fetus right now.”

Appareled black, shod black shoe, cat sister carry fabric sack former encase cushion purpose to cradle skull during asleep on mattress. Sack of white fabric pattern silly animal with helium balloon. White fabric flopping empty, almost empty. Round object sway, swing, small and heavy in bottom corner of sack.

Plunging hand into own trouser, host sister extract jar black paint. Twist lid so unhealed. Fingertip spoon black during cat sister say, “You could use a touch-up.” Cat sister fingertips lift toward face of operative me. Sister say, “Close your eyes.”

Fingertips Braille face cheek of operative me, stroke smooth, massage. Gentle circle. Greased finger lick infinite tiny licks along lips of this agent. Slippery finger slide width of forehead, tickle eyes cover skin shut tight. Leaving layer black paint. Skin of operative me, whole skin of face rush to meet touch. Nothing in eyes-shut blackness, merely honeyed odor cat sister exhales, sound of host sister voice. Vehicle conveyance vibrate.

Host sister voice say, fingering skin, say, “Your little friend, is her name Maria?”

Lips of operative me revise, say, “Magda.”

Ensconced third public conveyance, host sister say, “You’re pretty much our compromise.” Say, “I mean, I wanted to be an exchange student to Uganda or Tanzania, someplace bitch’n, only my folks were sure I’d get loved up by some bush guerrilla and bring them home a half-breed grandkid.” Say, “Their compromise is we sent away for you.” Say, “You can open your eyes…”

Cat sister heal own eye cover skins so blind, tilt chin forward so face offered as gift for this agent. Say, “Now, you touch me up…”

Ensconced aboard fourth public conveyance, host sister say, “Nobody needs to go to Tanzania to get preggers around here.” Say, “I never told my folks, but a while back Reverend Tony oozed up next to me at youth group and offered his own brand of private ministering.” Say, “That’s how come I carry my rape whistle…”

Devil Tony.

Digits of operative me explore sister face skin, smooth polish surface each cheek, trace slick edge curved margin mouth, sensation squirming eyeball alive behind eye cover skins, penetrate rim each nostril dipping digits so enter hole smear and retreat, advance and retreat, digit entering nostril more deep and retreat. Coaxing host sister bellow wet hah-shoo , sneeze. Repeat spray hah-shoo .

Blood glow flood cat sister neck skin, say, “What?” Say, “Are you fucking my nose?”

Negroid captain of public conveyance halt vehicle, activate door so becomes unhealed in metal wall, decree through amplified microphone, say, “End of the line.” Say, “All mimes please disembark.”

Surrounding vehicle, vast night render all hidden. Mating cry of cricket. Frog of bulls croak. Vehicle captain abandon this agent with cat sister along margin paved roadway bordered fence of linked chains, trenched ditch retaining stale water, many invasive plant life. Interrupting fence, gate. Beyond gate, vast field paved macadam.

Arriving vast macadam field, empty of automobile, host sister sprint bending knees deep, knuckles dragging primate posture, shoulders hunched so obscured behind landscaping hedge. Approach building assembled red brick. Sign stationed at entry lettered in English words to read: RADIOLOGICAL INSTITUTE OF MEDICINE. Crouched sister continue grasp fabric sack of skull cushion. Invade sack with hand, extract white card, sized of plastic money card. Laminated card attached anchored spring apparatus for gripping chest blouse pocket of cow host father. Laminated name badge swinging there, giving name Donald Cedar, from orange dot code security level nine. Swipe magnetic strip. American industry typical biological toxin exposure indicate strip.

Host sister brandish card, say, “This is not a date.” Say, “This is Spy 101 training ”

Sister walking crouched, stealth follow blurred edge of shadows, eternal obscured from camera security scanning landscape. Host sister say, whisper say, “Think of me as your spy mentor ”

Arriving entrance of building, splayed so flat against wall of chilled bricks near healed doors, sister plunge hand within fabric sack. Emerge hand cupping green object. Cat sister gesture laminate card at healed doors. Next then handle round green object so aligned lens of box beside doors. Nothing occurs.

Fingering green object so repositioned before lens, say, “We need to get this thing home before my dad wakes up.”

Green object, artificial prosthetic human eye crafted of glass. Identical of vast cow father eye. White of eye smudged multiple fingerprint host sister black paint.

Glass eye coated slight adhesive, suggest dried fluid, same sticky surface as plastic missile and mortar owned by host mother. Gloss left dull beneath layer dried proteins, plethora bacterium.