Уильям Моэм - Orientations
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- Название:Orientations
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- Издательство:epubBooks Classics
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- Год:2014
- ISBN:нет данных
- Рейтинг книги:5 / 5. Голосов: 1
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'And we have in all our minds,' he said at last, 'the terrible fall which has almost broken the hearts of sorrowing parents and brought bitter grief—bitter grief and shame to all of us.'…
He went on hinting at the scandal in the manner of the personal columns in newspapers, and drawing a number of obvious morals. The Griffith family were sitting in their pew well in view of the congregation; and losing even the shadow of decency, the people turned round and stared at them, ghoul–like…. Robert Griffith sat in the corner with his head bent down, huddled up, his rough face speaking in all its lines the terrible humiliation; his hair was all dishevelled. He was not more than fifty, and he looked an old man. But Mrs Griffith sat next him, very erect, not leaning against the back, with her head well up, her mouth firmly closed, and she looked straight in front of her, her little eyes sparkling, as if she had not an idea that a hundred people were staring at her. In the other corner was George, very white, looking up at the roof in simulation of indifference. Suddenly a sob came from the Griffiths' pew, and people saw that the father had broken down; he seemed to forget where he was, and he cried as if indeed his heart were broken. The great tears ran down his cheeks in the sight of all—the painful tears of men; he had not even the courage to hide his face in his hands. Still Mrs Griffith made no motion, she never gave a sign that she heard her husband's agony; but two little red spots appeared angrily on her cheek bones, and perhaps she compressed her lips a little more tightly….
V
Six months passed. One evening, when Mr Griffith was standing at the door after work, smoking his pipe, the postman handed him a letter. He changed colour and his hand shook when he recognised the handwriting. He turned quickly into the house.
'A letter from Daisy,' he said. They had not replied to her first letter, and since then had heard nothing.
'Give it me,' said his wife.
He drew it quickly towards him, with an instinctive gesture of retention.
'It's addressed to me.'
'Well, then, you'd better open it.'
He looked up at his wife; he wanted to take the letter away and read it alone, but her eyes were upon him, compelling him there and then to open it.
'She wants to come back,' he said in a broken voice.
Mrs Griffith snatched the letter from him.
'That means he's left her,' she said.
The letter was all incoherent, nearly incomprehensible, covered with blots, every other word scratched out. One could see that the girl was quite distraught, and Mrs Griffith's keen eyes saw the trace of tears on the paper…. It was a long, bitter cry of repentance. She begged them to take her back, repeating again and again the cry of penitence, piteously beseeching them to forgive her.
'I'll go and write to her,' said Mr Griffith.
'Write what?'
'Why—that it's all right and she isn't to worry; and we want her back, and that I'll go up and fetch her.'
Mrs Griffith placed herself between him and the door.
'What d'you mean?' she cried. 'She's not coming back into my house.'
Mr Griffith started back.
'You don't want to leave her where she is! She says she'll kill herself.'
'Yes, I believe that,' she replied scornfully; and then, gathering up her anger, 'D'you mean to say you expect me to have her in the house after what she's done? I tell you I won't. She's never coming in this house again as long as I live; I'm an honest woman and she isn't. She's a—' Mrs Griffith called her daughter the foulest name that can be applied to her sex.
Mr Griffith stood indecisively before his wife.
'But think what a state she's in, mother. She was crying when she wrote the letter.'
'Let her cry; she'll have to cry a lot more before she's done. And it serves her right; and it serves you right. She'll have to go through a good deal more than that before God forgives her, I can tell you.'
'Perhaps she's starving.'
'Let her starve, for all I care. She's dead to us; I've told everyone in Blackstable that I haven't got a daughter now, and if she came on her bended knees before me I'd spit on her.'
George had come in and listened to the conversation.
'Think what people would say, father,' he said now; 'as it is, it's jolly awkward, I can tell you. No one would speak to us if she was back again. It's not as if people didn't know; everyone in Blackstable knows what she's been up to.'
'And what about George?' put in Mrs Griffith. 'D'you think the Polletts would stand it?' George was engaged to Edith Pollett.
'She'd be quite capable of breaking it off if Daisy came back,' said George. 'She's said as much.'
'Quite right too!' cried his mother. 'And I'm not going to be like Mrs Jay with Lottie. Everyone knows about Lottie's goings–on, and you can see how people treat them—her and her mother. When Mrs Gray passes them in the street she always goes on the other side. No, I've always held my head high, and I'm always going to. I've never done anything to be ashamed of as far as I know, and I'm not going to begin now. Everyone knows it was no fault of mine what Daisy did, and all through I've behaved so that no one should think the worse of me.'
Mr Griffith sank helplessly into a chair, the old habit of submission asserted itself, and his weakness gave way as usual before his wife's strong will. He had not the courage to oppose her.
'What shall I answer, then?' he asked.
'Answer? Nothing.'
'I must write something. She'll be waiting for the letter, and waiting and waiting.'
'Let her wait.'
VI
A few days later another letter came from Daisy, asking pitifully why they didn't write, begging them again to forgive her and take her back. The letter was addressed to Mr Griffith; the girl knew that it was only from him she might expect mercy; but he was out when it arrived. Mrs Griffith opened it, and passed it on to her son. They looked at one another guiltily; the same thought had occurred to both, and each knew it was in the other's mind.
'I don't think we'd better let father see it,' Mrs Griffith said, a little uncertainly; 'it'll do no good and it'll only distress him.'
'And it's no good making a fuss, because we can't have her back.'
'She'll never enter this door as long as I'm in the world…. I think I'll lock it up.'
'I'd burn it, if I was you, mother. It's safer.'
Then every day Mrs Griffith made a point of going to the door herself for the letters. Two more came from Daisy.
'I know it's not you; it's mother and George. They've always hated me. Oh, don't be so cruel, father! You don't know what I've gone through. I've cried and cried till I thought I should die. For God's sake write to me! They might let you write just once. I'm alone all day, day after day, and I think I shall go mad. You might take me back; I'm sure I've suffered enough, and you wouldn't know me now, I'm so changed. Tell mother that if she'll only forgive me I'll be quite different. I'll do the housework and anything she tells me. I'll be a servant to you, and you can send the girl away. If you knew how I repent! Do forgive me and have me back. Oh, I know that no one would speak to me; but I don't care about that, if I can only be with you!'
'She doesn't think about us,' said George—'what we should do if she was back. No one would speak to us either.'
But the next letter said that she couldn't bear the terrible silence; if her father didn't write she'd come down to Blackstable. Mrs Griffith was furious.
'I'd shut the door in her face; I wonder how she can dare to come.'
'It's jolly awkward,' said George. 'Supposing father found out we'd kept back the letters?'
'It was for his own good,' said Mrs Griffith, angrily. 'I'm not ashamed of what I've done, and I'll tell him so to his face if he says anything to me.'
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