Muriel Spark - The Complete Short Stories

It caused a certain amount of tittering in the neighbourhood. George felt this; but otherwise, the affair made no difference between them. Personally, I believe the story, with a preference for Miss Pinkerton’s original version. She is a neighbour of mine. I have reason to believe this version because, not long afterwards, I too received a flying visitation from a saucer. The little pilot, in my case, was shy and inquisitive. He pedalled with all his might. My saucer was Royal Worcester, fake or not I can’t say.

The Pearly Shadow

‘I’ll track him down,’ said Mr Neviss. ‘I’ll be relentless.’

Dr Felicity Grayland offered him a caramel of which there was a bowl on her table (for the children?).

‘Thanks. I’ll do away with him,’ said Mr Neviss, ‘as soon as I get my hands on him.’

‘Yes, Mr Neviss,’ said Felicity, who was a resident psychiatrist at the nursing home. ‘We’ll both do away with him, in fact. That’s what we’re here for. I see you’re down as Mr O. Neviss. What does “O” stand for?’

‘I can’t think of anyone I dislike more,’ Mr Neviss said. ‘I’ll break his—’

‘Mr Neviss,’ said Felicity. ‘Relax. Just relax.’

‘O stands for Olaf. It isn’t easy to relax,’ said the patient, ‘with him standing there.’ He pointed to a spot behind her chair.

Felicity leaned back. ‘Please describe this pearly shadow, Olaf,’ she said. ‘Simply tell me what you see, with the details. Call me Felicity —please do.’

‘Well,’ he said, ‘you can see for yourself. He’s standing behind you.

‘What is he doing?’ Felicity inquired.

‘Just standing,’ said Mr Neviss. ‘He’s always just standing, except when I try to get hold of him, and then —’Try,’ said Felicity, ‘to relax. What exactly do you mean by a pearly shadow?’

‘For goodness’ sake, woman,’ said the patient, ‘look round and see for yourself.’

Indulgently, with a small smile, she looked round, and looked back very quickly at her patient. ‘That’s the way — keep relaxed,’ she said, helping herself to a sweet. ‘Now, tell me, when did this pearly shadow business first start?’

Felicity gave Olaf an hour. Then she showed him out to the nurse, who conveyed him to an attendant, to take him to his ward. Felicity lingered outside her consulting-room. She hesitated, then entered abruptly. Yes, the pearly shadow was still there.

She gave the matter a moment’s thought before deciding to see the Chief about herself. Overwork, clearly. As she reached for the house phone, the nurse entered with the appointment book. ‘Only one more patient today, doctor,’ said the nurse pleasantly.

‘Oh,’ Felicity said, ‘I thought Neviss was the last.’ She looked at the book. ‘P. Shadow,’ she repeated. ‘He must be a new patient; have we got his previous record?’

‘It’s on your desk,’ said the nurse. ‘Will I show him in?’

‘I’m here already,’ said the pearly shadow.

The nurse jumped. ‘Oh, Mr Shadow,’ she said, ‘you should have waited in the waiting-room, you know.

‘Sit down, Mr Shadow,’ said Felicity, as the nurse withdrew. She opened a drawer and took out a packet of cigarettes. ‘Cigarette?’

‘Thank you,’ said the patient hoarsely, while Felicity glanced at his record.

‘I shouldn’t really offer you cigarettes,’ she smiled. ‘I see you’ve had lung trouble. And anaemia.

‘I’m very bloodless,’ said the pearly shadow, ‘and my voice has almost gone.

‘But,’ said the pearly shadow, as Felicity tried to distinguish his features, ‘I’ve come here about my nerves, you know. There’s something on my mind.’

This put Felicity finally at her ease. She applied herself calmly to the problem before her. The luminous vagueness of the patient’s face became irrelevant. ‘I see you’re down as P. Shadow. What does “P” stand for?’

‘Pearly. You can call me Pearly.’

‘Just relax,’ said Felicity. ‘Pearly, relax.’

‘It isn’t easy to relax,’ said the pearly shadow, ‘when every hand is against you.

‘Everyone is against me. You,’ he continued, ‘are against me. You want to do away with me. You intend to exterminate me.’

‘Relax, Mr Shadow,’ said Felicity, who did not really believe in first-name relationships with patients. ‘Now, tell me, what gives you this idea?’

‘You told Neviss you’d both get rid of me. That’s what you’re here for, I heard,’ said the pearly shadow. ‘You’re giving him sedatives, aren’t you? You’re going to work me out of his system, aren’t you?’

Felicity kept her eye fixed on what looked like a pearl tie-pin at the level of his chest. ‘I can’t discuss another patient’s treatment with you,’ she explained. ‘That would be unethical. One patient has nothing to do with another.’

‘They gave him a drug last night,’ the pearly shadow said, ‘and I nearly died of it. If you give him anything stronger I shall probably fade away.

‘You’re trying to murder me,’ the patient insisted. ‘You and all the rest of them. I know.’

Felicity gave him an hour. Then she opened the door and let him out. She carefully wrote her report on P. Shadow, and took it to the nurse. It was her habit to exchange a friendly few words with the nurse, after the last patient had left. Felicity leaned in the doorway. ‘Another day over, nurse,’ she remarked. ‘It’s been rather a bore. In fact,’ she went on, ‘we don’t get any interesting cases these days. All quite cut to the pattern, these days. Take those last two, for instance. Neviss — illusions of being haunted; perfectly simple. Shadow — straightforward illusions of persecution. Now, if you’d been here last year, we had some really complicated… Nurse! What’s wrong with you?’

‘He walked right through me,’ said the nurse, heaving, ‘and he came out at the other side.’

‘You’ve been overworking, Nurse,’ Felicity said. ‘Take a sweet, a cigarette … Here’s some water. Now relax… just relax. He could not have walked right through you, but I think I know what you mean. He is a very insubstantial type.’ Felicity regarded the prosperous shape of the nurse. ‘Did you feel any sensation when he appeared to walk through you?’

‘Well, he’s luminous, isn’t he? Where’s he gone?’

‘Home, I imagine. He’s an out-patient. If you’re feeling better, Nurse, I’m afraid I have to close the office. It’s been a heavy day.’

Felicity was still firmly decided to consult the Chief about herself and her confused delusion, but it was too late. Everyone had gone home.

Dr Felicity Grayland, as she left her office, regretted that she had not been able to remember the name of the nurse, and so make her chatty interlude more personal. She rarely remembered the names of the people around her or of the people she met. Without referring to the cards, she did not remember many of her patients. She drove home, trying hard, for some reason, to think of her last patient’s name. She had no success, and when she put the car away she deliberately gave up.

Her supper of mixed green salad, Roquefort cheese and fruit, with brown bread and butter, was laid out on the dining-room table. Felicity set about it with relish, reading the morning’s newspaper. She could never read the papers until the evening. Now she also remembered that she had decided to see the Chief about herself.

About herself? Herself? Why? There must be some mistake. She went into the sitting-room and turned on the television, tuning in to a quiz show, her favourite programme. The subject was the Armada. What age exactly was Philip of Spain when he embarked upon this enterprise? The girl student with black glossy hair and round-eyed glasses, who was already winning thousands of pounds, opened her mouth confidently to answer. But just at that moment the television turned itself off although the lights were still on. ‘I hate quiz programmes,’ said a thin voice. ‘They get too much money.