Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 3)

“I have heard tell of the foreigners in the West,” Sanzang thought with secret delight, “but I have never come here before. On close examination it is no different from our Great Tang. This must be what is meant by paradise.” When he learned that a bushel of hulled rice cost only four tenths of an ounce of silver and a pound of sesame oil only eight thousandths of an ounce of silver he realized that this truly was a place where crops grew in abundance.

After walking for quite a long time they reached the prince of Yuhua's palace. On either side of the palace gates were the office of the remembrancer, the law courts, the prince's kitchens and the government hostel.

“Disciples,” said Sanzang, “here is the palace. Wait while I go inside for the prince to inspect our passport and let us on our way.”

“We can't very well stand at the gates while you go in, Master,” said Pig.

“Can you not see 'Government Hostel' written over that gateway?” Sanzang asked. “Go and sit there and see if you can buy some fodder for the horse. If the prince offers me a meal when I have my audience with him I will send for you to share it.”

“Go on in, Master, and don't worry,” said Brother Monkey. “I can cope.” Friar Sand carried the luggage into the hostel, where the staff were so alarmed by their hideous faces that they did not dare ask them any questions or send them away but could only invite them to sit down.

Meanwhile the master changed his habit and hat and went straight into the prince's palace with the passport in his hands. Soon he was met by a protocol officer who asked, “Where are you from, reverend sir?”

“I am a monk sent by the Great Tang in the East to worship the Lord Buddha and fetch the scriptures in the Great Thunder Monastery,” Sanzang replied. “Now that I have reached this distinguished place I would like to have my passport inspected and returned, which is why I have come to seek an audience with His Royal Highness.” The protocol officer passed this on, and as the prince was indeed an enlightened one he sent for Sanzang at once.

Sanzang bowed in greeting before the prince's hall, and the prince invited him into the hall to sit down. When the prince read the passport that Sanzang handed him and saw the seals and signatures from so many countries on it he signed it himself, folded it up and put it on his table. “Venerable Teacher of the Nation,” he said, “you have passed through many countries on your way here from Great Tang. How long has your journey taken?”

“I have kept no record of the distance,” Sanzang said, “but some years ago the Boddhisattva Guanyin appeared to me and left an address in verse in which it was said that the road would be sixty thousand miles long. I have already seen fourteen winters and summers on my journey.”

“That means fourteen years,” the prince replied. “I should imagine that there were many delays along the way.”

“It would be hard to tell of them all,” said Sanzang. “There were thousands of monsters and I don't know how much suffering to be endured before I could reach here.” The prince was so pleased with his visitor that he ordered his kitchens to prepare a vegetarian meal for him.

“I wish to inform Your Royal Highness that I have three disciples,” Sanzang said. “As they are waiting outside I will not be able to delay our journey by accepting the meal.” The prince then ordered his aides to go straight out to invite the venerable elder's three disciples into the palace to share the meal.

When the aides went out with this invitation they said, “We can't see them, we can't see them.”

“There are three hideous monks sitting in the hostel,” one of their staff said. “Must be them.”

The aides and their staff then went to the hostel, where they asked the people in charge, “Which are the disciples of the monk from Great Tang who's going to fetch the scriptures? His Royal Highness has invited them to a meal.”

As soon as Pig, who was sitting there snoozing, heard the word “meal" he could not help jumping up and saying, “We are, we are,” at the sight of which the palace aides' souls flew from their bodies as they shivered and said, “A pig demon! A pig demon!”

When Monkey heard this he seized hold of Pig and said, “Act a bit more civilized, brother, and don't be so wild.” When the officials saw Monkey they all said, “A monkey spirit! A monkey spirit!”

“There's no need to be frightened,” said Friar Sand, raising his hands together in polite greeting. “We're all disciples of the Tang Priest.”

“A stove god, a stove god,” was the officials' reaction to the sight of him. Monkey then told Pig to lead the horse and Friar Sand to shoulder the carrying-pole as they followed the officials' staff into the prince of Yuhua's palace. The aides went ahead to announce them.

When the prince looked up and saw how ugly they were he too was frightened. “Do not be alarmed, Your Royal Highness,” said Sanzang, putting his hands together in front of his chest. “Although my rough disciples are ugly they have good hearts.”

Pig intoned a noise of respect and said, “How do you do?” This made the prince feel even more alarmed.

“All my rough disciples are from the wilds and the mountains and they do not know how to behave,” Sanzang explained, “so please forgive them.” Overcoming his fear, the prince told the superintendent of his kitchens to take the monks to eat in the Gauze Pavilion.

Sanzang thanked the prince, came down from the hall to proceed to the pavilion with his disciples, then grumbled at Pig, “You idiot,” he said, “you've not a shred of manners. If you had kept your mouth shut that would have been fine, but why did you have to be so coarse? That one remark from you was enough to knock a mountain over.”

“I did better by not making a respectful chant,” said Monkey, “and I saved a bit of my breath too.”

“You didn't even intone the chant properly,” said Friar Sand to Pig. “First of all, you stuck your snout out and roared.”

“It makes me hopping mad,” said Pig. “The other day the master told me that the polite thing when I met someone was to say, 'How do you do?' I do it today and you tell me it's wrong. How do you want me to behave?”

“I told you to say, 'How do you do?' when you meet people,” Sanzang replied, “but not to make such a fool of yourself when you meet a prince. As the saying goes, things, like people, come in grades. Why can't you see the differences of social rank?” While he was still making these remarks the superintendent of the kitchens led servants in to set out tables and chairs and serve the vegetarian feast. Then the monks stopped talking and started eating their meal.

When the prince withdrew from the palace hall to his living quarters his three sons noticed his pallor and asked, “What has given you such a fright today, Father?”

“A most remarkable monk has arrived,” the prince replied. “He has been sent by the Great Tang in the East to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures, and he came to present his passport. When I invited him to take a meal he told me that he had some disciples outside the palace, so I asked them in. When they came in a moment later they didn't kowtow to me but just said, 'How do you do?' That was upsetting enough. Then when I looked at them I saw that they were all as ugly as demons, which gave me quite a shock. That's why I'm looking pale.”

Now the three young princes were no ordinary boys. They were all fond of the martial arts, so they stretched out their hands, rolled up their sleeves and said, “They must be evil spirits from the mountains disguised as humans. Wait while we fetch our weapons and take a look at them.”

Splendid young princes! The eldest wielded a brow-high rod, the second a nine-toothed rake and the third a black-painted cudgel, and the three of them strode with great valour and spirit out of the palace, shouting, “What's this about monks fetching scriptures? Where are they?”