Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 1)

“Please sit down, elder brother,” said the younger monster. “I can get Monkey without lifting a finger. I just need to send two little devils with a couple of treasures to bring him back in.”

“What treasures?”

“My gold and red gourd and your vase of mutton-fat jade.” The older monster fetched the two treasures, handed them to him, and asked which two little devils were to be sent. “Send Dexterous Ghost and Skillful Beast,” replied the younger monster. He then instructed them, “Take the two treasures straight to the top of a high mountain, put them there upside-down and call out to Sun. If he responds he'll go straight inside. You must immediately paste this label on: 'Supreme Lord Lao: to be dealt with urgently in accordance with the Statutes and Ordinances.' Within three and a half hours he'll just be pus.” The two little devils kowtowed and went off with treasures to catch Monkey.

As he lay crushed under the three mountains the Great Sage thought in his distress of the holy priest Sanzang.

“Master,” he wailed, “I remember how you removed the paper sealing me under the Double Boundary Mountain, delivered me from terrible agony, and brought me into the Buddhist faith. The Bodhisattva ordered me to stay with you and improve myself, sharing you fate, your appearance, and your knowledge. I never thought I'd have this demon trouble here and be crushed by mountains again. Oh dear, oh dear. If you die it serves you right. But I do feel sorry about Friar Sand, Pig, and the little dragon who was turned into a horse. Indeed:

A tall tree invites the wind;

The wind then shakes the tree.

Whoever strives for fame

By fame destroyed is he.”

Then he sighed and the tears flowed like rain.

All this had alarmed the mountain spirits, the local gods and the Protectors of the four quarters and the center. “Whose mountains are these?” asked the Gold-headed Protector.

“Ours,” said the local gods.

“And who is it pinned under your mountains?”

“We don't know,” said the local gods.

“You lot wouldn't,” said the Protector.

“It's Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven who made havoc in the palaces of Heaven five hundred years ago. Now he's found religion and become the Tang Priest's disciple. Why ever did you let that demon use your mountains to crush him? You've had it now. He'll not spare you if ever he gets free. Even if he decides to let you off lightly it'll be exile for the local gods and hard labor for the mountain spirits. And I'll get a severe reprimand.”

“We didn't know, really we didn't,” said the gods and spirits, now terrified. “When the chief demon recited the mountain-moving spell we just moved them here. We never knew it was the Great Sage Sun.”

“Don't be afraid,” said the Protector. “The Legal Code says that you cannot be punished for what you are unaware of. We'll have to work out a plan to let him out in such a way that he won't kill us all.”

“It would be very unfair of him to kill us if we set him free,” said the local gods.

“There's something else you don't know,” said the Protector. “He has a truly lethal As-You-Will gold-banded cudgel. If he hits you with that you've dead, and just a touch of it will wound. A tap will shatter your sinews, and a graze from it rip your skin to shreds.”

The terrified local gods and mountain spirits then conferred with the Protectors, approached the gates of the three mountains, and called, “Great Sage, the mountain spirits, local gods and Protectors from the four quarters and the center have come to see you.”

Splendid Monkey. He was like a tiger who though skinny was as always full of spirit. “So what?” he called in a loud, clear voice.

“We have a communication for the Great Sage,” replied the local gods. “If we remove the mountains and set you free, Great Sage, will you forgive us humble spirits for our discourtesy?”

“Move these mountains,” said Monkey, “and I won't hit you.” Then he shouted, “Get up.” It was just like the authorities giving an order: the deities all said the magic words and the mountains went back to where they had come from. Monkey was free. He jumped up, shook the dirt off his body, tightened his kilt, pulled out his cudgel from behind his ear, and said to the local gods and mountain spirits, “All hold out your feet. I'm going to give you two strokes each to work off my bad temper.”

“But you promised just a moment ago, Great Sage,” said the deities in horror, “to forgive us. How can you go back on your word and hit us?”

“My dear local gods and mountain spirits,” said Monkey, “you're more afraid of that monster than of me.”

“But that demon has great and powerful magic arts! When he says his true spells he forces us to take it in turns to be on duty in his cave every day.”

Monkey was shocked to hear them talk about being on duty. He looked up to the skies and shouted, “Heaven, Heaven, when the primal chaos was first differentiated and heaven divided from earth I was born on the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit. I visited many a wise teacher and learned the secrets of eternal life. I could change as swiftly as the winds, subdued tigers and dragons, and made great havoc in the palaces of Heaven. But never did I bully mountain spirits and local gods or make them run my errands. What a disgrace, when these evil monsters have the effrontery to treat mountain spirits and local gods as their slaves, and make them take turns to serve them. Heaven! If you created me, why ever did you create them?”

Just as the Great Sage was in the middle of his complaint a rosy light began to shine in the mountain hollow. “Mountain spirits, local gods,” asked Monkey, “you serve in the cave, so what is it that's shining?”

“The monsters' treasures,” replied the local gods, “some of the demons must have brought them to catch you out with.”

“Just what I need to play a little trick on them,” said Monkey: “Tell me, who comes to see them in the cave?”

“What they're interested in is refining elixirs of immortality, and their best friends are Taoist masters of the Quanzhen School,” replied the local gods.

“No wonder he turned himself into an old Taoist priest to trick my master,” said Monkey. “Very well then, I'll let you off for now. Back you go. I'll get them myself.” The spirits all rose into the air and made off.

The Great Sage shook himself and turned himself into an old Taoist master. Do you know what he made himself like?

His hair drawn into two tufts,

A motley robe of a hundred patches.

He tapped a fisherman's drum,

A Lord Lu sash around his waist.

He leaned beside the path,

Awaiting the little devils.

Soon the devils arrived

To be prey for the Monkey King's tricks.

It was not long before the two little devils arrived. Monkey thrust his gold-banded cudgel out and tripped up the two demons, who were taken right off guard. It was only as they picked themselves up that they saw Monkey. “You villain. If our Great King weren't such an admirer of the likes of you we'd soon sort you out.”

“What do you mean, sort me out?” asked Monkey with a forced smile. “We're all Taoists-one big happy family.”

“Why are you lying here, and why did you trip us up?” asked the devils.

“A little fall is a way for you boys to show your respect on meeting a Taoist elder like me,” said Monkey.

“Our Great King only demands a few ounces of silver when people first meet him,” said the little devils, “so why do you expect us to fall over for you? That's not the custom here. You must be from somewhere else.”

“Indeed I am,” said Monkey. “I'm from Mount Penglai.”

“But that's an island in the sea where immortals live,” said the devils.