Henry Green - Nothing

"You mean to say you aren't absolutely certain?" he asked with a sort of detachment. She turned to face Mr Weatherby.

?"Philip you mustn't laugh!" she warned.

"I'm not" he assured her with a straight face.

"For a minute I thought yon were" she admitted and from the tone of her voice she could have been near to tears. "I'm not sure you mayn't even have worked for this" she added.

"In what way?" he demanded.

"Oh why are you so difficult to know, Philip?" she asked transferring her attention back to the glass she held and did not drink from. "I think that's the whole trouble. I can't make you out a bit."

"Don't get worked up Mary."

"But part of all I'm trying to tell you is, I'll have to leave the Department, I've just explained I can't ask for extended leave. If they gave it me they'd be bound to take as much off my holiday periods and so in the end I'd never get away again for ages which would be impossible even you will agree Philip."

"Really your father is the most selfish man" he burst out and raised his voice in indignation. "Entirely because he's bent on marrying my mother all of a sudden, a thing he's not thought of for years, he insists that you throw up a job which is part of your life-"

Miss Pomfret interrupted and had to shake his elbow to do so.

"Quiet, Philip you'll have everyone listening in a moment. And anyway less of all this about Daddy please!"

"I can't help but-"

"No Philip I mean what I say. I never bring up anything against your mother so why should you start about my parent?"

"I wasn't blaming him so much as I was the way he treated you."

"Where's the difference?" she asked.

"Very well then you win" he replied in a calmer voice. "So you're to chuck the whole career up in order to give your father time to get to know Mamma when they've lived in each other's pockets ever since we were born!"

"Go on I'm listening Philip" she commented acidly.

"But dear my only thought is of you!" he protested with what seemed to be some unease.

"Why?" she demanded.

"How why?" he inquired.

"Did you think of me suddenly then?"

"Well Mary isn't that natural?"

"Except this. When you could have done something for me, for us both if you like, you'd insist time and again, Philip, you mustn't upset your family! It's they who've come first always, isn't that so?"

"I don't know what you're referring to" he said.

"You made one great mistake Philip" she explained in hushed tones. "I told you once but you wouldn't listen. And that was we should have married, then told them all at your mother's beastly party, and only then."

"Now who's being offensive about parents?"

"Oh Philip I only said about the party, I didn't breathe a word against your mother though probably I might have if I tried. No, and now it may be too late!"

"What may be?"

"Our engagement Philip!"

"You don't mean to say you agreed to go through the ceremony with me just to stop our parents' marriage!"

"Don't be disgusting! Of course not."

"See here Mary" he said with what might have been firmness "there's no good in your getting cross. The fact is you're not a bit clear at the moment and I can't make sense out of all you say."

"I meant things might be too late now for us to marry, Philip."

"No, look, of course it's for you to decide, but don't rush this! You're all on edge which is only natural. Go to, Italy by all means, give yourself a chance to think everything over. But I'm bound to tell you throwing up your job on a whim as you are must affect me. I mean to say, what serious man wouldn't consider, well you know — Honestly that does seem childish."

"There you are!"

"Where am I?" he demanded.

"But you don't think of me in the least, ever" she angrily protested. "If I talk of giving up my job you merely make threats about the effect it will have on you! Not that I care my dear in the least, so there!"

"I was trying to suggest what was best."

"So you believe my interests lie in marrying you Philip?"

"Not at all" he answered warmly. "I've nowt to offer. I've never been able to believe you ever would. From your point of view it must be madness."

"Well well!" she said and smiled on him. "Oh I know you'll think me awful but I must have more time. Still I wish you could have been as decided like this all through. Oh Philip I have been miserable, truly I have! At moments."

"I don't suppose everything's been very gay for anyone except our sainted parents" he replied.

"There you go again!" she wearily complained.

"Sorry. Forget it. Now how shall we leave all this? I know you will be annoyed but one thing I do bless my lucky star for, that we didn't put our engagement in the papers. No" and he raised a warning hand at the expression on her face "don't say it! If marriage is a long grind as they make out, of give and take, then my feelings for my family are just one of those bad patches you'll have to get used to. And I warn you there's no one will ever get me out of them. Anyway go to Italy dear and see how you feel when you do come back."

"Oh no Philip" she burst out, turning scarlet, "you're not to be so bloody to me!! Here take your beastly ring, I'm off!"

She almost ran out. He went rather white and cautiously looked round the saloon bar, presumably to see if anyone had noticed. No one appeared to be watching however. After which he finished both light ales and then left with much composure.

WELL she's given him back the ring Richard" Miss Jennings announced as she opened the door to Mr Abott.

"Good God, can't have been worth much then!"

"No, no Mary has to Philip, not Jane to John."

"I thought all was settled between those two" he said carefully as he folded his overcoat to lay on a chair "The children that is at least" he added.

"Why my dear you haven't heard anything about John have you?"

"No Liz but after what's happened to the couple of us nothing in human nature can ever surprise me again."

"You are sweet I like you so much better when you begin to be cross with Jane and John. And once upon a time I really thought you never would be!"

He coughed and rubbed his hands together before her fire.

"Rotten summer we've had" he said.

"Yes Mary's given him back the ring" Miss Jennings insisted.

"And has Jane had hers yet?" he wanted to be told.

"I don't know. Oh d'you think so? I would really terribly like to see it. Because if he can't do better for Jane than Philip was able to manage for John's daughter the fur will simply fly my dear, you'll see."

"Would she go as far as to chuck the thing back in his face?" Mr Abbot inquired smiling.

"Jane? Why you don't want that surely Richard? Not now any more you can't?"

"Not sure my old wishes will have a great deal to do with anything you know, not where they're concerned anyway."

"Why did you ask in that case?"

"Curiosity never killed a cat in spite of all they say Liz."

"But if you're so curious, then you do still care what happens to Jane! Oh Richard you can give yourself away at times so terribly!"

"Well don't you mind about John?"

"I just won't let myself."

"Nonsense my dear of course you'd like to know if he'd made up his mind not to marry Jane."

?"I could still do with a small little satisfaction of my own if that's what you mean" she answered. "But I won't allow myself to care about how the man behaves afterwards."

"Not much between us then probably" he admitted.

"Now what are you getting at?" she demanded, smiling with obvious pathos.

"We're in the same boat right enough it seems."

"Then don't yon start to rock the thing by yearning after Jane!"

"Oh Liz as I told you once before I'm just a thanks a million' old soldier now."