Henry Green - Nothing

"Do you notice what men are wearing?"

"Of course."

"Then did I get the suit I have on now from off a hook or was it made for me?"

"You ask me that when you wouldn't know if I was in one of my beloved mother's Ascot dresses this minute!"

"What tailor does Philip patronize?"

"His awful uncle's."

"Well of course I haven't the advantage of knowing your brother-in-law well enough to have been acquainted with his cutter."

"It's Highcliffe I believe, in that little passage off the Arcade."

"Never heard of the man." There was a pause. Then Mr Pomfret went on "What made Philip choose Ned Weatherby's man?"

"Family reasons. Philip feels all men who are closely related should go to the same place for everything."

"That's what must lead one to think he's in livery then."

"But John the boy never wears striped waistcoats."

"We shall have to change all of it Jane. Who'd you say your winemerchant was?"

"Ned's."

"Curious. Remind me to ask you the address sometime. So has Philip gone traditional with the tradespeople? Can't say I remember anything of the sort in my family."

"Then you've forgotten your Aunt Eloise."

"What about her?"

"Wasn't it she who insisted on everyone getting everything on the route served by such and such a bus?"

"Extraordinary memory you have Jane. Whenever did I tell you that?"

"On one of those despairingly long walks you took me dear."

They both laughed. There was a short pause.

"Well I think all this business is rather marvellous" he began again. "It's given me a new lease of life Jane. Takes me back to the days we were walking out! I'm sure I couldn't think of anyone more perfect for Mary than your Philip."

"What a sweet sentimental person you can be" she replied. "I believe most men are."

"No seriously" he said. "it's all I could've wished."

"I never imagined, who would, I mean think of you and me sitting here like this after all that's happened, and in a discussion how we're to become related by the back door so to speak!"

"Not at all" he objected. "The main entrance."

"D'you really think so? Don't you find your children, your own girl, so remote?"

"Why should I Jane?"

"But Mary's a gift!"

"And what difference does sex bring to the relationship?"

"You see I'm forever making allowances for Philip because he's a man" she explained. "And the more so by reason of my not having a husband any longer of course. It's the same with you John. If you were married now you'd be so greatly critical, no not that, shall I say choosy about Mary."

"Would I?"

"Well I mean about her clothes and everything."

"Why?"

"Because you'd get some advice I suppose. I'm sure I don't know. What d'you expect me to say?"

"I couldn't tell you Jane" he said smiling, and seemed very comfortable in the chair with his sherry.

"I hope Isabella's not to be late again like she was last time, or is each time if I'm not to tell a lie" Mrs Weatherby said. "Supposing I shouted to her in the kitchen?"

"I'm quite all right. Never been more comfortable in my life."

"Well you did arrive a weeny bit early didn't you? The thing is, as I've already explained, ever since she told darling Pen all about the secret engagement I've been terrified to say much to Isabella in ease unbeknownst I'm telling the woman the opposite. Never mind, I expect we can wait a bit. Then are you quite easy in your heart of hearts about Mary, and Philip?"

"My dear" he said "I can't remember when I've been more pleased."

"It just crossed my mind, only a moment ago to tell the truth, John I have almost wondered and you are the one person in the world to whom I'd bring myself to mention this, but don't you feel they both might be rather young?"

"Young? My dear girl what age were you when you married?"

"Eighteen months younger than your lovely Mary I know, oh I know!" she cried. "Still wouldn't you agree we were different then?"

"Different? In what way?" An edge had come onto his voice.

"It's so difficult to look back to those golden wonderful days" she moaned, "to fed back to how we felt then! t don't know but I sometimes think I was simply insane marrying when I did so I missed all my fun."

"Nonsense my dear" Mr Pomfret said firmly. "You never lived until you met me and that was years later."

"Oh why didn't I wait?" she murmured gently with a brilliant flattering smile full on him. "That was when I made the greatest mistake. And how about you? What d'you think?"

"Me? Oh I've been an absolute fool all me life."

"There's not many would say that about you John. But if we were complete idiots is there any reason why we should let the children fall into the selfsame trap?"

"Yes Jane and who's to stop 'em?"

"Ah" she said "ah! Yet these runaway affairs?" she hazarded.

"That's what I like about our two. They haven't eloped."

"Not yet, sweet Providence forbid!"

"My dear" he remonstrated. "I say nothing against Mary when I tell you she is far too level-headed. And Philip would be frightened of what his uncle's tradesmen might find to say."

She narrowed her great eyes.

"John" she warned him "that's not funny!"

"Have I said something?" he exclaimed with what seemed to be genuine innocence. "Look here I do apologize. Now that the children have got engaged I suppose I'm wallowing in intimacy, there you are, thinking out loud no end of ill-considered things. There's been so little time to adjust oneself has there?"

"No no" she agreed "I was only being absurd for a minute and ridiculously touchy. Forgive me dear John! Oh yes it has all been hasty quick hasn't it?"

"Then you really think they're too young though you admit there's very little we can do and that we married younger?"

"But John we had money. It didn't have to be love in a cottage for us."

"Quite out of date nowadays" he laughed. "Most expensive things in the world, cottages! It's the old garret for the nonce all right."

"And can you see Philip in one?"

"No Jane to tell the honest truth I can't, yet that's Mary's affair I suppose? And then I imagine you and I'll be able to help a little."

Mrs Weatherby covered her face with her fat white fingers in rings.

"Oh there you go" she moaned "and I've been dreading it all evening! I shall have to see Mr Thicknesse which, I do terribly tremble at always!! I'm such an absolute fool over money matters John!"

" Thicknesse the family Oliver Twist?!"

"Yes the lawyer. You remember him" she said, still from behind her hands but in a stronger tone. "Never had dealings with the man myself."

"But you did. When we were wickedly threatened with cross divorces." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't tell me you've forgotten even that?"

"Oh old Thicknesse" he cried cheerfully. "Yes I've got him now right enough. Lord I'm sorry for anyone who has to call on that fellow! And you say he's still alive when a fine chap thirty years younger like poor old Arthur Morris lies dying in bed?"

"No don't" she wailed. "No one, simply no one is to mention Arthur again in my presence! I told Penelope. I forbade her."

"Yes I expect you'll have to call on Master Thicknesse. Unless you'd rather I went?"

"Oh well wouldn't that look rather queer?" she cried, lowered the hands from her face and looked at Mr Pomfret with a tiny smile at the corners of those magnificent eyes. "Besides I'm afraid it may turn out to be quite like those Egyptian tombs they're always finding and are so proud of, quite empty, robbed."

"You mean the sly old devil's got away with some?"

"Mr Thicknesse?" she gasped and actually glanced over a shoulder. "Hush my dear, do think what you're saying!"

John roared with laughter, put his drink down, even leaned right back to let himself go. She caught the infection, or seemed to, and soon in her turn was dabbing at her eyes.