Louis Couperus - Eline Vere

‘Why won’t you believe me?’ she broke out, with an accusatory sob.

‘Because if nothing happened,’ said Madame van Raat, putting her arms about Frédérique, ‘there is no reason for you to be so upset, is there? Forgive me if I have caused you pain, but what did you expect me to think, Freddie? What am I to think of your being so upset?’

‘Nothing! Don’t think anything! There is nothing the matter!’ Freddie wailed.

Madame van Raat drew her closer. ‘Now listen, Freddie, listen to me! Do you love Paul?’ she murmured.

Racked with sobs, Freddie tried to extricate herself, but the old lady only tightened her embrace.

‘Don’t go, Freddie, just stay close to me a moment and answer my question: do you love Paul? Do you love him very, very much?’

‘Why are you asking me that? Why do you want me to tell you?’

‘Because I believe that he loves you.’

‘No, no, he doesn’t care about me, he doesn’t love me, not any more.’

‘But he did once, and he may do so again! Oh, do tell me the truth, my dear — tell me what happened between you. Well, if you won’t tell me, shall I guess? Paul made advances to you, he trifled with your affection, and then neglected you. Is that what happened?’

‘No, no! Nothing like that, honestly! It was all my fault!’ Frédérique cried out. ‘How could you think such as thing of your son!’

‘Was it really your fault? Well then, did he ask you to marry him? And did you say no? I am only guessing, because of course I don’t know anything. But you shouldn’t tell fibs, my dear, just tell me the truth.’

Frédérique felt too worn out by this persistence to offer any more opposition, and she admitted defeat with a despairing nod, after which she hid her blazing face in Madame van Raat’s shoulder.

‘Why did you reject him?’

‘I think it was my pride. . it got the better of me.’

‘Did you not think my boy good enough?’

‘No, no, it wasn’t pride, really; it was more like jealousy, I think. He was so charming to all the other girls. . Oh, I’m not even sure why I turned him down.’

‘And do you regret it, my child?’

Frédérique recoiled in dismay.

‘But you mustn’t mention a word of this to him!’ she cried. ‘Not a word! Oh, please, promise me that you won’t say anything! You say you think he might yet love me, but I know for certain that it cannot be the case. And I would die of shame if he had any idea that I. . Oh, will you promise me that you won’t say anything?’

‘Of course I promise, my child. But there is no need for all this distress, now is there? I’m afraid I have made you unhappy, for which I am truly sorry. But really, don’t you think you have behaved rather foolishly? Now listen to me. Try looking on the bright side. Personally, I would not be at all surprised if Paul still loves you; in other words, anything might still happen.’

‘But I was horrible to him! He hates me!’

‘Nonsense, dear! There, there, you must stop crying, Freddie. But now it is my turn to ask a promise of you now: will you try to believe that Paul still loves you? Will you try for my sake?’

Freddie gazed at through her tears.

‘I wish I could, but. . it wouldn’t be right!’ she said tonelessly.

Madame’s knowing smile never left her face; she kissed Frédérique and gently brushed the teardrops from her cheeks.

When Frédérique had gone, Madame van Raat did not betake herself to bed at once as she usually did, but stayed up for a long while afterwards, musing contentedly on her efforts to inveigle Frédérique into an admission. Never had she imagined herself capable of such a feat of diplomacy!

. .

So now she knew: Freddie loved her boy. Why she had rebuffed him was still unclear, but her motives for doing so no longer seemed to be clear to Freddie herself either. He had proposed, so much was evident. The next day Madame van Raat sent a note to her son asking him to come and visit her without delay, as she wished to hear his opinion on certain money matters. Paul complied with promptness and astonishment. Money matters? It was always Henk whom she consulted regarding the family finances, and besides, what did he know about money? That was exactly why she had summoned him, she declared: it was high time that he learnt to manage his own financial affairs. He shrugged, saying that he was sure that his brother was much better at such things than he was, whereupon she launched into a long and convoluted exposé to persuade him of the necessity of taking himself in hand, at the end of which she remarked, as though at random:

‘Freddie came to see me yesterday evening. Such a sweet girl. Such a shame. .’

‘Freddie? I didn’t know you and she saw each other.’

‘Oh yes, quite often.’

‘Often? I thought. .’

‘What, dear boy? Freddie often comes by of an evening, with Marie; they read to me, you see. Didn’t you know?’

‘No I didn’t.’

‘How odd; I thought you knew. We talk about you sometimes.’

‘About me? Does she talk about me?’

‘Well, not all the time, but whenever I mention you she responds very sweetly. Of course she doesn’t know you’ve told me everything, dear boy. So she is not aware that I know what passed between you.’

‘It’s a bit surprising that she should call on you, though.’

‘Not at all. No one knows about that, anyway.’

‘It still seems rather strange to me. I mean, that she can bring herself to come here. And also that you can sit and talk with her, exchanging pleasantries as if nothing had happened.’

‘Indeed, my dear Paul. It is true that I was vexed with her at first, but I have grown very fond of her since. Actually, I firmly believe that she loves you. Paul. And it is because that is what I believe, or rather, because I know it for certain, that I no longer have any ill feeling towards her.’

‘Oh, Mama!’ he faltered. ‘How can you be so sure?’

‘I can’t explain, but everything tells me that it is so. Little things she says. . a word here, a word there. .’

He was too dazed by the rosy prospects unfolding in his mind’s eye to respond, and his mother pursued with her counsel:

‘It is perfectly clear that she loves you. The pair of you could still find happiness together. Next time you see her, try not to behave as if you don’t care, as if you have put it all behind you. You ought to get to know her a little better.’

‘Don’t you think I know her well enough?’

‘No, Paul, you do not. I assure you, God help me, that she loves you!’

‘But she can’t!’ he stammered. ‘It’s impossible! Oh, Mama, it’s impossible.’

‘That is what she said, too!’ thought the old lady, rising. She enfolded him in her arms once more.

‘But she does! She does love you, my dear, dear boy!’ she whispered. A radiant smile crossed her features, making her seem ten years younger than her age.

. .

She thought it best to leave them be for a while, now that she had instilled in both their minds the notion of a misapprehension that might yet be rectified, and she bided her time.

Paul kept delaying his return to Bodegraven. The day after his conversation with his mother he called at the Verstraetens’. He arrived at four, an hour at which the family was usually gathered together and there was most chance of Freddie dropping by. So disappointed was he when she did not appear that he could not help asking Marie in an urgent undertone:

‘Won’t Freddie be coming this afternoon?’

She was startled by the question. ‘I don’t know, Paul. Why do you ask?’

‘It’s been so long since I’ve seen her,’ he almost whispered.

Marie blushed; she wished she could tell him how sorry Freddie had been about how things had turned out last summer, but she did not dare, for fear of inadvertently snarling the delicate fabric of emotion between them. It was up to them to find a resolution, but when would they do so? Perhaps never, thought Marie.