V Alexander - The Taster

“He deliberately poisoned you,” he said. “Otto put poisonous mushrooms in the dish—not the kind that can kill, only make you ill. It was a game for him. His clue was the mushroom near the food. Cook was furious when she found out. She went directly to the Führer. He was less than sympathetic. He told Cook he understood the pain you must be going through, but such actions were for the good of the Reich and the protection of its leader. He said such tests were a valuable training tool. They taught the other tasters not to be complacent.”

In an odd way, Hitler was right, although I hated to admit it. “Have I lost my job?” I tried to lift my head, but the room spun in a circle.

“No. You’re still on staff, but you’ll be doing inventory for a few weeks until you recover. That bastard cook—he’s a street brawler like the rest of them. They have no morals, no compunction against killing their own citizens. They’ll destroy everything.” Karl’s voice rose as he talked. I had enough sense to lift a finger to my lips. What he was saying was dangerous, even though we seemed to be alone.

He clutched my hand and his fingers felt warm against mine. I wanted to kiss him.

“I have to leave. I’m happy that you’re better.” His eyes took me in from head to toe. “We need to talk, but it’s better to wait until you’re stronger.”

I patted his hand and he said good-bye. I didn’t see him again for several days, until I got out of the hospital and back to the kitchen.

Over the next few days, Karl made it clear he did not want to talk to me. He only nodded when we passed in the mess hall. If I initiated a conversation he would cut me off with a curt, “I can’t talk now, Fräulein Ritter.” I was lucky if he smiled at me. I believed a plan, some secret operation, must be in the works and it scared me. Karl was distancing himself. Our relationship had been much more loving at the Berghof.

Else and Minna limited their contact with me as well, apparently because I had failed them on their first evening in the mess hall. Else hated her position as a taster, but she was still under Minna’s thumb. She would approach me, as if she wanted to talk, but then retreat out of caution. I avoided Otto. If the Führer supported his foul trick, it would do no good to confront him.

Several weeks went by and Hitler was called away to Berlin for a few days. Cook and three of the other tasters I knew only in passing accompanied him. Minna and Else stayed behind. Because I was now charged with keeping food inventories and helping in the kitchen, rather than tasting, my evenings were free.

One afternoon Karl stopped me on the path to the mess hall and asked me to meet him that evening at ten outside the cinema, a plan similar to the one he had proposed the night I got sick. I mentioned to Dora I was attending a film and might take a walk afterwards. I suspected she would think nothing of it because all of us were eager to spend time out of our cramped quarters.

The evening was cool, but humid. Low clouds hung over the Wolf’s Lair. Occasionally rain pattered against my shoulders. There was little light to guide me, but I’d been here long enough to find my way around. The faint sounds of stringed instruments and theatrical voices emanated from the cinema. The movie was in progress.

I turned the corner on the north side of the building and saw a figure under a stand of trees. The orange glow of a cigarette flared briefly. My nerves tightened. Karl had given up smoking. As I got closer, I called out his name. A dark figure waved to me.

“Is that you?” I asked. The man didn’t answer and I thought of running away.

I repeated my question. He stood silent for a time and then crushed out his cigarette.

I was about to turn when he whispered my name. It was Franz, Ursula’s boyfriend and an SS officer like Karl.

He held out his hand. “It’s good to see you again, Magda.”

I grasped it. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I arrived a couple of days ago. I’m here for a few weeks, then I’m headed to the Eastern Front, to command a panzer division. Some of the generals have consented to talk to those of us who are about to give our lives for the Reich.” He chuckled.

I peered through the black stands of trees, searching for Karl, but didn’t see him.

“He’s coming,” Franz said, soothing my fear. “He was delayed a few minutes by orders from Berlin.”

I couldn’t understand why Franz was invited to a meeting between Karl and me, but I dared not ask.

Franz leaned against a tree and reached into his jacket for another cigarette.

“Isn’t it dangerous to light them at night?” I asked. “Bombers can see the flame.”

Franz laughed. “I doubt the Allies can see through all this netting. Anyway, to hell with it. Hitler isn’t here and I could give a damn what happens. The whole place could be bombed to pieces as far as I’m concerned. Besides, the smoke keeps the bugs away.” The bitterness in his voice underscored his pain. I suspected much of it had to do with Ursula’s death.

My curiosity got the better of me. “What’s going on? Why isn’t Karl here?”

Franz lit the cigarette, took in a deep breath and let the smoke seep from his lungs. The scent of burning tobacco hung heavy in the damp air. “Karl will tell you what he can.” He leaned forward and whispered, “There isn’t much time left to save Germany. I won’t be at the Wolf’s Lair long and neither will Karl if our plan works. For your sake, don’t get too attached to either of us, Magda. We know what needs to be done and we might not come out alive.”

His words struck me like bullets.

“My world crumbled when Ursula died,” Franz said. “She was a wonderful woman who loved her family more than she loved life. She sacrificed herself to save Germany. Hitler and the rest of them can go to hell. Ursula and I were to be married.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaken by his admission. “I didn’t know. Ursula never told me.”

“We kept our plans secret because—life—” His voice cracked. “Life is so uncertain, so unkind, it’s hardly worth living.” He groaned. “Every day I ask myself why I should endure this torture. I suppose I do it for Ursula.”

“How—”

“—Please, Magda, the less you know about this the better. Don’t force Karl to tell you.”

A chill swept over me. I was about to respond when he said, “Quiet. Someone is coming.”

I turned. Another figure approached us through the gloom. The man, dressed in a dark uniform, walked swiftly, brushing past the trees. It was Karl. He put his hand on my shoulder and addressed Franz. “Everything is in readiness. When the time is right, I’ll act.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “You’re frightening me.”

Karl ignored me.

“I will be there,” Franz said. “We are brothers.” He shook Karl’s hand and then saluted him by holding his hand over his brow. Franz grasped my hands and kissed my cheek. “Good-bye, Magda. It’s unlikely we will ever meet again. Good health and happiness.” He crushed his cigarette underfoot and walked away.

Trembling, Karl collapsed against the tree.

I begged him to tell me what was wrong. For a long time, he wouldn’t speak. I held his hands and listened to his breath slip in and out of his body. I looked to make sure no one was near. We were barely visible in the feeble light. I drew him close. He placed his head next to mine and his tears ran down my cheek.

“Karl, please tell me.”

His lips brushed against my throat and a jolt like an electrical charge skittered over my body.

“Kiss me,” he said.

I pressed against him and our lips met, playing out our passion. I placed my hands in the small of his back and pulled him toward me. He held me close and showered me with kisses. Suddenly, he jerked away.