Ever Dundas - Goblin

I was so angry and scared I was almost sick. We’d had people try to steal the chickens before, but this was the closest it came to losing one of them, and the thought of losing Billy Bones or Dr Kemp had me in a sweat, so I explained to them on the train home that our performance days were over.

‘You’ll stay at home,’ I said, ‘and I’ll make my own routine. I’ll be a clown, I’ll use ma’s old make-up and I’ll make my own clothes, and you’ll all be safe at home.’

That’s what I did. I only went exploring with Monsta after that, and I let the chickens out into the garden at night so they could get their worms and all the neighbours were hidden away in their houses on account of the blackout so they wouldn’t think to try and kidnap my family and put them in their bellies.

‘You can’t trust humans,’ I said to the chickens. ‘Apart from me, but I’m part-goblin so I don’t count.’ Then I thought of the man who’d given us all that money and I said to myself, ‘What’s his game?’

I thought how it would be good if I had a performance partner, but I didn’t have anyone. Miss Campbell wouldn’t have time and I didn’t think she’d want to anyway. I knew David would have done it, but he was gone. Maybe he’d gone to the sea like I had. Maybe he escaped to the sea and he was swimming with a girl just like I did, and maybe he’ll come back just like I did. I had to earn money and feed the family and get money for rent if I ended up needing it, so that I can be here, waiting for David. If he were here I know for sure he’d come busking with me. But he wasn’t here and I needed a partner in busking, and it was then I found the Lizard King.

‘Get lost, ya wee cunt.’

A pale orb emerged from the darkness. It moved closer and I raised my torch, the features falling into place. His skin was white. His lips were shrivelled, dry and cracking. I expected his lizard tongue to flick out and taste me. His eyes were as black as the tunnel. Silver rivulets were painted on his cheeks, flowing from his eyes down to his neck. They shimmered in the torchlight.

‘Hail thee, O Lizard King.’

I prostrated myself before him.

‘This is ma spot, ya wee cunt.’

I looked up, squinting. His face was right next to mine, the stench of his breath intolerable.

‘I dinnae ken what yer game is, but ye can get!’

‘Mr Lizard King, sir, I’ve come to live with the lizard people.’

He snatched my torch and shone it in my face.

‘I remember you,’ he said. ‘Used to run wild, you and two others. Right little cunts ya were.’

I shielded my eyes from the light and sat up.

‘Mr Fenwick?’

‘Ye cannae live wi me. This is ma spot. Where’s yer ma and pa?’

‘Gone.’

‘That right?’

I’d heard about what happened to Mr Fenwick from Miss Campbell. He was too old to serve, so he stayed living on our street but he’d been bombed out, his face scarred by the blast so he looked just like the Lizard King who’d lost his queen and cried tears of acid that burned away his skin.

‘I have Groo,’ I said.

‘Eh?’

‘Your cat.’

‘Issatright? She still alive? Wily wee thing.’

‘She misses Devil and Corporal Pig, but I look after her. She chews on my hair.’

‘She always wis an odd one. I expect ma chickens are long gone by now.’

‘They’re alive and well, Mr Fenwick, sir. They live with me.’

‘Ye ’ave a habit of kidnapping people’s animals?’

‘They were on their own. I rescued them and they’re my family now.’

‘Family, eh? They’d be better off in your belly. Or in mine.’

‘They’re not going in anyone’s belly. I’m looking after them and I’ll guard them with my life.’

He eyed me.

‘Aye, well, ye better be getting back to ’em then.’

I looked round and said, ‘What you doing down here in the tunnels, Mr Fenwick?’

‘It’s ma home.’

‘You seen any lizard people?’

He pushed me and said, ‘Get lost like I told ye.’

‘I brought you offerings,’ I said.

‘What’s that?’

‘Offerings… for the Lizard King. You may as well have ’em.’

I poured the offerings on the ground and he rummaged through them. He sat chewing on some bread. I took my torch back and looked around. It was a dump. Junk everywhere, and a makeshift bed.

‘I’m the Lizard King,’ he said. I shone the torch in his eyes. ‘And we dinnae like light,’ he said, putting his arm across his face.

I lowered the torch.

‘You’re no Lizard King. You’re just Mr Fenwick.’

‘That’s ma pseudonym, lad. No one wants tae think their neighbour’s a lizard person, eh?’

I shook my head.

‘I accept yer offering,’ he said, sweeping all the food into an old box by his bed. ‘But what Lizard Kings really like is cigarettes. Ye can get some of those, can’t ye?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Get, then. I’ll see ye the morn.’

I made my way out of the tunnels, Queen Isabella, Amelia and Scholler guiding me back.

‘That man was definitely not a king,’ said Isabella. ‘There isn’t an ounce of royal blood in him, lizard or not.’

‘I know,’ I said, ‘it was just Mr Fenwick, but—’

But he could be the Lizard King if I wanted him to be. He could be my partner in busking: The Lizard King and Goblin of the Realm Below. We’d dazzle the crowds, that was certain.

He mostly said nothing. I’d give him food and cigarettes and he’d eat and smoke and shoo me out with a gesture, but I’d stay and talk and tell him my plans for us both.

‘I like your face,’ I said one time. He looked like he would stab me with his fork but he kept eating and I kept talking. I told him who he was. I knew what I was doing – seducing him with a new identity, a new way of being in the realm above.

‘I’m Goblin-runt born blue,’ I said. ‘And you’re the Lizard King. You cried tears of acid for your loved one who died in the realm above and now you hide away, but I’ll take you above and tell your story. People will love your story,’ I said. ‘I’ll paint you green and people will love you. I’ll tell your story and people will love me. We’ll make a fortune.’

He chewed and he smoked, not even looking at me.

‘A fortune?’ he said.

‘We’ll dazzle ’em!’

We were an instant hit.

Sitting underground, piled on top of each other, both scared and bored all at once, everyone appreciated a distraction.

‘Roll up! Roll up!’ I yelled, ‘Come see the tragic Lizard King of the Realm Below.’

In my da’s old coat I was disappeared but for my fingertips and my monster head made out of bits cut from ma’s nightdress. I’d cut out holes for my eyes but they were squint, my face all lopsided with a huge clown grin scrawled across with lipstick. My short hair stuck out all angles in-between the bits of bunched up wool I’d tied into it and all the Lizard King had to say was that we were supposed to be entertaining people not scaring the holy bejeesus out of them. What do you know, Lizard King old man all hiding in your cave? I clutched a stick, holding it aloft, shuffling toward him all clumsy in da’s old shoes. I’d tied Monsta to the stick, my trusty companion in entertainment. I’m being mysterious , I said to that Lizard King. People will be all interested in us in their curiosity. Lizard King stood looking uncomfortable in a smart-as-can-be dinner jacket I scavenged from a bombsite, his face all painted green apart from his scars. He nudged me out the way and looked in the mirror.

‘We look a right coupla cunts.’

‘We’ll be an instant hit,’ I said and handed him the mask I’d made him.