Tracie Peterson - Dawns Prelude

"It's just something you should keep in mind. Perhaps help Lydia to understand, as well."

"I won't trouble that poor child with idle threats." Lerclda squared her shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. "Just as you are used to accomplishing things through your acquaintances, so too am I. I first have God on my side, which is enough to see me through anything. But second, I have a good many friends in positions of authority on this island. I doubt they would give it a second thought should I suggest to them that you need to be removed from this place in order to offer my niece greater protection."

Marston was taken aback by her bold statement. This was not a woman who was easily coerced. "Very well, Miss Rockford. I had hoped to reason with you, but I see you are just as stubborn as your niece. Such thinking will only bode ill for you both."

Zcrelda laughed, further unnerving him. "Mr. Gray, your threats only serve to prove to me that my niece has shared nothing but the truth in regard to you and your family. I'm glad she chose to come live with me, and you should know that I will defend and protect her, no matter the cost. And I am not the only one to feel that way. Alaskans are a different kind of people, and you would do well to learn that now."

She stalked off down the road without another glance. Marston wanted to demand that she return. In truth, he wanted to kill her for her insolent manner. The rage rushed through him, energizing him. He would make them all pay.

"I come hearing good news," KjeII said, greeting Lydia at the cabin door.

"Marston has gone?"

No, its not as good as that. The property sale is going through, and you are welcome to move into the main house anytime you like. Your letter from the bank was good enough to hold the place until the full exchange of funds can be arranged."

Lydia smiled. That is good news the best, in fact. Come on in. Lerelda should he hack soon, and she will he so excited to hear the details."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you what you really longed to hear." He eyed her sympathetically "I wish there was some way to make the man leave, but he can't be forced."

"I know." Lydia smoothed the calico blouse down over her bulging stomach and drew as deep a breath as she could. Zerelda had told her that it wouldn't be long before the child would drop lower and ease the pressure on her lungs. Lydia hoped it would he soon.

"I'm glad you've decided to stay" Kjell said, following her. He helped her into her rocking chair and added, "I know it pleases Zee, as well."

"It seems the reasonable thing to do, at least for the time," Lydia said, placing her hand atop her expanded waist. "Besides, I've come to love it here. I find it both peaceful and restorative. It seems S itka has a way of wiping away my memories of the past. I never thought anything could do that."

He smiled and pulled up a chair. "I'm glad you feel that way."

Lydia felt her cheeks warm as she studied his handsome face. She had come to accept her feelings for him, although she had never spoken of them-not even to Zerelda. She'd never known the sensation of being in love before. It came to her as something of a shock at first, but now now that she was more used to the idea-it came as a fulfillment of all she had missed in life. The emptiness she had once known was gradually being replaced with a fullness of spirit and heart that Lydia had only hoped to experience.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'm probably going to kiss you again."

She laughed. "What a punishment that would be!" She saw his grin double in size. "Kjell, I never thought I would be happy, but I am. You have been so good to me-such a dear friend."

"I'd like to he more than a friend," he said, his voice low and husky.

Lydia felt her heart skip a beat. She swallowed hard. She knew he would most certainly propose to her. Did she want that? Could she accept such a proposal? For a moment her own fears overwhelmed her and she looked away.

Kjell leaned forward to take hold of her face. He gently turned her hack to face him. "You must know how I feel about you."

Lydia surprised them both by getting to her feet quickly She was so awkward these days, but she found it impossible to remain seated. "I do know," she began. "I suppose I've at least suspected for some time. My own feelings have taken me by surprise, I must admit. I never came here expecting to…" She paused and looked back at him. Dare she say the words?

"You didn't come here expecting to what?" he asked, coming to take hold of her arms.

Lydia found her courage. "I didn't expect to fall in love."

He gently touched her cheek. "And is that what happened?"

She nodded, unable to speak. Her heart raced at his touch, and despite the baby's bulk between them, she couldn't help but put her hand up to mimic his action. She felt the warmth of his skin and trailed her fingers along his jaw.

He pulled her close and kissed her with great passion. Lydia clung to him for fear the moment might end too soon. She heard him sigh as if the kiss were the culmination of a long, arduous journey.

"Marry me, Lydia. Let me take care of you-love you." He trailed kisses along her jaw.

The words sobered her momentarily. "Kjell." She pulled back just a bit. "I'm going to have a baby very soon."

He laughed. "I hadn't noticed."

She couldn't help but smile. "It's just that… well, this child is important to me. I cannot put it aside, even for your love."

This made him frown. " Lydia, what kind of man do you think Iam?

"I know so little of men, except the very worst of them. I know you are different, Kjell, but I still have my fears. This baby will need a father who can love him or her with all of his heart. Can you give this child that pledge?"

He put his hand to her stomach. "I can and I do. I want nothing more than to share this child with you. I would never have considered asking you to marry me if I felt otherwise. I love children-I wanted to have them with Raisa, and now I desire only to have them with you."

Lydia felt the truth of his statement deep in her heart. "I had a horrible marriage, you know. My husband was not kind in fact, he was cruel. He… he hurt me… often."

Pulling her into his arms, Kjell wrapped her in a warm embrace. "I'm not that man. I will never do those things to you."

"But what if… what if I…" She couldn't find the words to explain. How could she explain that intimacy terrified her? How could she hope for him to understand that she had never been shown the slightest hit of consideration as a wife?

" Lydia, what is it you're trying to tell me? Just say what you want me to know."

She lowered her chin, unable to meet his gaze. "What if I can't be a good wife to you? What if I'm not pleasing?"

He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look up. "I think I understand," he whispered. "Please know that I will he understanding of your needs. I would never betray your trust in me." His expression was so very tender. " Lydia, do you love me?"

She nodded. "I do."

"And I love you. I have from almost the first minute you fainted into my arms." He smiled and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "I had just told a friend of mine that if God wanted to give me a wife, He would have to put one in my arms. And then there you were."

"You believe God brought us together?" she asked curiously. Zerelda had often spoken of God ordering things in such a way to bring about His will.

"I do believe it," he replied. " Lydia, I know your heart is fearful of trusting both God and me but I want you to know that while I might make mistakes and disappoint, God never will."

"I'd like to believe that," Lydia said, "but it's just so hard. After all, God was never there for me in all those troubled years of my youth. I tried to pray and believe, but He was sadly absent."