Kerry Young - Pao

‘I know you get Cuban cigars here all the time but these were so tiny and cute I thought even Gloria might approve.’ Then Margy look at me all expectant and say, ‘Try one.’

So I take one out and unwrap it. When I smell it, it got a sweet nutty aroma. I light it and I take a puff. Margy look at me like as to say how is it?

Well, I think Margy good enough to go buy me a present so I not going say nothing ’bout the Americans and their Cuban embargo. I say, ‘It taste like the beginning of something new. Something sweet and adventurous. It taste like freedom.’ And she pleased with that.

When we leave Margy’s I just say to Milton, ‘Let’s go to Ken Jones Aerodrome and jump on a helicopter back to Kingston, and you can come pick up the car some other time.’

In 1980 Manley lose the election and Edward Seaga become prime minister when the Jamaica Labour Party take power. They say that seven hundred and fifty people get killed in the months running up to that election, and they reckon that whereas up to 1976 the gangs was using sidearms, mostly the.365 Magnum, by 1980 they was using rapid-fire M16 rifles.

By the next year we break off diplomatic relations with Cuba and we get back the US aid and foreign investments start flooding back again.

But even though the foreign investment good, it mean we not really in charge of our own destiny. Is the foreigners in charge of our destiny, because is them telling us what to do, and them deciding what going get cultivated or developed, and them deciding the time frame, and them deciding how much investment them putting in for how much profit them taking out.

Every day the street filling up with more advertisement for Pepsi and Sprite and Coca-Cola, and IBM and Citibank and Cable & Wireless, and Nestlé, and KFC and Burger King and Esso and Texaco. And all I can hear is Zhang in my head saying ‘you back in the grip of the foreigners’. And I think yes, but this situation completely different. Because in the old days everybody could see that it was the British that was responsible for the slavery, whereas now it seem like we are the ones responsible for this mess we in. Nowadays it hard to see how we being controlled by foreign powers because this new kind of imperialism come wrapped in a cloak that look like help.

The other thing that strike me ’bout the way Jamaica changing is how everybody start talking ’bout Africa. Is like we ‘Out of Many’, but the ‘One People’ seem to be just the Africans. Is Africa this and Africa that. Marcus Garvey and Haile Selassie. And ever since the world discover Bob Marley, everything turn to Rasta and reggae. It like they think the only true Jamaican is a African. Like they forget that the original Jamaican was the Arawak Indian and after the Spanish and British get through murdering all of them we was all imports. Every last one of us. But it no matter, all I see and hear every day now is how we got to get back to Africa.

You can hardly see a Chinese man on the street these days. Their feet don’t even hit the sidewalk between the Mercedes and the tennis court, or the golf course, or the airport tarmac on them way to their next vacation. And that’s the ones that still here, the ones that didn’t leave Chinatown to go jump on a plane and never come back. I reckon I must be the only Chinaman left in Chinatown, because even though the signs still here – Chin’s Bakery, Chen’s Groceries, Hoo’s Cleaners, Lee’s Hardware, the Golden Dragon, Panda House, Bamboo Garden – the Chinese have long gone. And now, when I step outta the yard at Matthews Lane, all I see is a mass of black faces looking at me and wondering what the hell I am still doing here.

Still, I reckon things good enough for Mui to come home if she still want to, so I write to her and tell her that. But it seem she too busy. She all excited with some big case that taking all her time and she want finish with it before she come. So I say alright. When yu ready then.

‘I going move to Beverly Hills.’

‘California?’

‘No, over Long Mountain. Don’t fool with me, Gloria. Yu know what I mean.’

Gloria turn ’round where she standing at the stove and she look at me. And then she drop one shoulder and raise one eyebrow and stick a hand on her hip all in one smooth move.

‘You going move to Beverly Hills?’

‘I going buy a house and move outta Matthews Lane and move to Beverly Hills. I think it time.’

‘So what bring this on?’

‘The whole thing gone to hell, Gloria. Ever since we come here, ever since I was a boy, we reckon we was going to make a better Jamaica. A Jamaica where we was all brothers. We was going to drive out the foreign imperialists and we was going to shake off the yoke of colonialism and oppression. And now since Manley lose the election it all gone to hell.’

‘All that talk ’bout imperialists was Zhang. It was Zhang that was always talking ’bout the right of the ordinary woman and man to live a decent life while you was busy robbing the US navy and driving chickens all over town. And you still busy making money now even though it all gone to hell .’

I nuh like the way she mimic me like that.

‘That not fair, Gloria.’

She look at me a minute, and then she soften and she say to me, ‘Alright, OK. Tell me what you do to make a better Jamaica. What you actually do to help the people.’

‘I give Michael Kealey all that money all these years for his poor relief and such. And I support the government social reforms.’

‘And where you get all that money from?’

‘What it matter where I get it?’

‘No. Tell me where you get it.’

‘You know where I get it. And you also know that I never hurt nobody that didn’t have it coming, and I didn’t take no money off of nobody who didn’t enter into business with me of their own free will.’ Gloria making me vex now and I can hear my voice raising up.

‘So you spend your whole life making all this money outta people through their own free will and now you going come tell me that you all dejected because the revolution lost and you going go exile yourself in Beverly Hills?’

And then she sort of ease back, like she just rest all her weight on the back leg there, and get herself comfortable. And I know I was in for it.

‘You want talk ’bout revolution, but this was never your revolution. You never been poor, not so poor you hungry; you never had to find yourself a job or put a roof over your head. You never needed to get yourself an education. You were never made to feel degraded or ignorant or worthless because of the colour of your skin, and have to stand there like a damn fool while them shut every door in your face, and while you watch even the most stupid white people moving up instead of you. You didn’t have to feel the shame of what been done to your people, and witness how that shame sit on your mother and father and brother and sister, and neighbour and acquaintance. No, you live in Chinatown all this long time because you was comfortable, and now you not so comfortable you have the choice and the money to go move to a mansion in Beverly Hills.’

I can’t believe she just say all of that to me. I say to her, ‘So it alright for me to carry on my bad ways when I can come in handy to fix this and that?’

‘I never said nothing to you ’bout your ways. If you remember right, that is how you and me meet when I come to ask you to help me with the thing with Marcia. That was how you and me start. And I never had no feeling ’bout how you put that sailor boy in the hospital. I not talking ’bout what you do, because at least that have a kind of honesty to it. I’m talking about how you talk.’ She pause a bit and then she say, ‘There not going to be no revolution here, Pao. This is not China. It is Jamaica. And that is not how Jamaica is.’