Kerry Young - Pao

When I turn outta the hospital I drive up Old Hope Road, down Tom Redcam Avenue pass Up Park Camp and head out along Windward Road where the sea breeze whip through the car going ’cross the Palisadoes to Port Royal. Father Kealey got a special liking for the fried fish and bammy they sell out there. When I get there he already park up and sitting at a table admiring the view.

‘I love to see the sunlight shimmering on the sea and catching the peaks in the water like that. It just sort of glistens, doesn’t it?’ I smile at him because he always remind me about the simple things in life that I should take more time to appreciate. So I just stand there for a time looking at him and the sea and thinking yes, him right.

And just then I can’t imagine ever being any place other than Jamaica. I can’t imagine any other view that could be better for the spirit than this. And I think to myself I don’t know what Father Kealey doing to me but every time I meet up with him it seem like I start thinking about this life and the hereafter, and right and wrong, and all that sort of thing even before he open his mouth. Is like he just sorta carry all of that God and goodness ’round with him. Like there is always a little ray of light shining down on exactly the spot he is standing on, or where he is sitting waiting for his fried fish.

When the waitress gone inside with the order he start telling me ’bout the new school he setting up for the children in Cockpit Country. He excited. I can tell because I know how much it please him every time he take his God to some place new. And how he rejoice when folks start to understand that the Bible got more to it than learning how one word follow another.

The waitress come and put down the food and then right as he start picking at the red snapper he suddenly ask me, ‘How is the baby?’ I so surprised I just repeat the question in my head. ‘How is the baby?’ Well he never ever ask me anything like that before. Never. And even before I get round to answering him he say, ‘I see Karl often and he is growing into a fine boy but Mui I have not yet met.’ All the time he is saying this to me he is staring into his plate, almost like he concentrating on his food and just making chat with me that he not too concerned about. And I look at the side of his head and I think yes, Ethyl right. He is a good-looking man. Younger than me. And yes, Ethyl right again. With the face and the hair and the dimple him look just like Jeff Chandler in Broken Arrow , and East of Sumatra and Away All Boats . And I think to myself what is this good-looking, younger-than-me man doing asking me ’bout the baby? What is his business with her?

I dunno how much time go by, but now I see him stop searching his plate and just sitting there looking at me expecting something. So I say, ‘The baby fine but she not such a baby no more.’

So he satisfied with that and turn back to his fish. And I start to think ’bout what we been talking ’bout all this time. I really search my memory, and all I can come up with is all the things him say to me ’bout the orphan fund and poor relief and education in the rural areas. And how early on he ask me why everybody call me Uncle because he catch wind of it and want me to tell him what it mean. So I tell him the same thing Hampton tell me when I just come to Jamaica about how people call Zhang Uncle because he not your father but he look after you. You can count on him to help you.

Then one time he try talk to me ’bout greed. And another time it was all ’bout pride. And the best one was when he start talk to me ’bout lust and I wonder what he know about a thing like that. After all they take him straight outta St George’s College and put him in the seminary for seven years and now he come back and want talk to me ’bout lust? But then I think well he a man and they have him married to God all this time so maybe he is exactly the person to know ’bout lust. Anyway, I reckon he was really trying to say something to me ’bout Gloria so I decide to give him a wide berth and pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about.

In truth I think he just happy to talk and he not all that concerned about what I am listening to. But the day he tell me I could think about going to confession that was when I put my foot down and he not mention it since.

‘Anyway,’ I say to him, ‘I would have to be a Catholic.’

And he say, ‘Yes, we can work on that.’

So I didn’t go see him for three months after that to give him some time to cool off.

But now he is sitting there calm as you like asking me about the baby. He even know her name! He call her by her name. The name I give her. Not even Fay call her by her name. She just keep saying ‘the child’ when she force to mention her, which not that often because most of the time Fay just act like Mui don’t exist.

So I say to him, ‘One day I bring her and you can get introduced if you like.’

And he say, ‘Yes, I would like that.’ And then he just change the subject and start talking ’bout his new school. And I know it time for me to put my hand in my pocket because either he is running low or there is some big project he got in his mind. So I just listen and I don’t say nothing to him about no money. That is not the way we do things. But he know and I know that come next Sunday he is going to open up his collection box and find a fat roll of US dollar bills that will bring a smile to his lips.

I eating the fish and bammy and thinking to myself what is it about this man that make me feel so calm? The baby thing aside, I just like to sit with him and listen to the deep, rich peacefulness in his voice. It don’t even matter what he talking about, I just feel like when I am with him it is safe. I don’t have to be looking over my shoulder or finding some dark corner in the Blue Lagoon. I can sit right out here in the sunshine, right here in broad daylight and it don’t matter who see me there. I can say to him what I want and it not going come back to haunt me. And the things I don’t tell him is because I protecting him, not because I protecting myself.

And even though I start up with all of this just to cut ’cross Fay, it seem like it worth something to me. It worth something to have somebody who always look at you like they think you OK. Who never got a look in their eye like they ’fraid of you. And who treat you like they believe you mean well. They believe you have good intention and a true heart.

When I get back to the shop in West Street Finley is waiting for me. He hand me a cold beer and he say, ‘All this driving food all over the north coast putting a strain on business in town.’

‘Yeah?’

‘So I think we need to go get some more help.’

I say to him, ‘What you think ’bout Kenneth Wong?’

‘Yu mean Miss Fay little brother?’

‘Yah, man.’

‘The bwoy too young and foolish.’

So Finley fix on that. I say to him, ‘You got someone in mind?’

‘You remember that round-face boy hang with DeFreitas when we kids? Married that no-arse girl from Spanish Town.’

‘You mean Samuels.’

‘Same one. He come round yesterday asking if we got something for him.’

‘He not running with DeFreitas no more?’

‘He say not. Say he not been with DeFreitas for years. He been driving a Checker Cab but he can’t make ends meet no more. Not now he got four children to feed and clothe and school and everything.’

‘So you want take him on?’

Finley stop and he think. And then he just walk out the back. Five minutes later he come back with two jugs of oysters, a bottle of hot red pepper sauce and a couple of cold Red Stripe. So I turn up two empty orange crates and lean them up outside against the wall in the shade. And we sit down.