Stewart Binns - Crusade

‘Estrith’s wound was deep and the barbs of the arrow had torn a lot of flesh. I feared it may have shattered bone, so we decided to lay low in the hills for a while. It took me two days to find water. I had to dig deep; it only filled my water sack once a day, and most of that went to the horses.’

Estrith smiled at him and placed her hand affectionately on his. ‘He hardly took any for himself – what he didn’t give to the horses, he gave to me.’

Sweyn continued.

‘It was obvious that we had to try to catch the column, which we knew would be moving ever further away from us. We travelled only at night, but we had no food and very little water. We saw Edwin’s body only because his horse whickered as we passed. It had stood over him until it sunk to its knees, exhausted and dying of thirst. We managed to revive it with the last of our water and used it to carry his body. We had no idea he had been killed; we had assumed you had all got away from the skirmish…’

Sweyn’s evident sorrow threatened to overwhelm him. It was Estrith who took up the story, turning to Adela.

‘Adela, you saved our lives, we will always be in your debt. We are sorry those thugs molested you.’

‘Don’t mention it. You would have done the same for me.’

Our Brethren now numbered five again – and three of those were lucky to be alive.

Although I was still convinced that we were right to pursue our destiny in Palestine, it was proving to be a severe test for all of us – far worse than I could ever have imagined.

We had lost Edwin, a rock we all relied on, just at the point when we needed him most. I feared our trials and tribulations were going to get worse before they got better.

We caught up with the column to discover that, in the absence of Robert’s calming influence, discord had broken out among the Princes. Tancred of Hauteville had decided that the circuitous north-easterly route was too slow and had turned south again to go through the dangerous Cilician Gates and take the direct route to Antioch via Tarsus and the Belen Pass.

At least Tancred still expressed his intention to keep his oath to the Emperor and liberate Jerusalem. Baldwin of Boulogne, on the other hand, had revealed his true ambitions. He had heard of rich pickings to be had in the ancient cities of the Valley of the Euphrates and, without warning or discussion, had disappeared in the dead of night with a force of 200 knights to go in search of plunder and the creation of his own fiefdom in the fabled lands of Babylon.

We first saw the walls of Antioch towering in the distance in late September 1097. It was one of the mightiest cities of the Muslim world and the gateway to Jerusalem. Ruled by Seljuk Turks, its inhabitants were among the most diverse in the world. Jews, Christians and Muslims lived together in a population of dozens of nationalities and languages. Founded in the time of Alexander the Great and named after one of his generals, it had huge walls and tall towers with no fewer than six massive gates. So large was the perimeter of the walls it was impossible for the Crusaders to fully encircle them, thus giving the defenders access and egress to break any siege.

Antioch was not going to be taken easily.

We started to make semi-permanent camps in a ring around the city. It seemed certain that a long and frustrating winter beckoned.

Sweyn was full of vim and vigour, and Estrith was now fully recovered from the arrow to her shoulder. Adela was not so lucky. Her wound had soon become infected and, although every known technique, from voracious maggots to a hot iron, had been used to clean the wound, it had not fully healed. She was still unable to ride and was in much pain. More worryingly, the inactivity was weakening her and making it hard for her to fight the infection.

Hereward was concerned too, and we decided to talk to Adela. Hereward came directly to the point.

‘You’re not getting better. We need to get you up and about and build your strength.’

‘I know, but I feel so weak – in spirit as well as in body.’

‘That’s not like you.’

Tears began to fill her eyes as Hereward put his arms around her. ‘May I take a look?’

‘Of course. You’re the only man in the world I’d happily show my arse to!’

Hereward examined the wound and then spoke to Adela reassuringly, but disingenuously.

‘It’s looking better, but it might be wise to cauterize you again, just to be on the safe side.’

‘Don’t tell me lies, Hereward of Bourne. I know it’s getting worse. Tell them to strike deep this time to kill whatever is eating away at me.’

‘Get some rest; we’ll do it in the morning.’

Hereward looked anxious as we walked away.

‘It’s her last chance. Could you smell it?’

‘What?’

‘Gangrene – the rotting of the flesh.’

The cauterizing of the wound the next day was vicious, even by the standards of a procedure that is at the best of times brutal. But Adela survived and the physicians gave her a strong potion to make her sleep.

As she slept, Hereward again seemed troubled.

‘Have you noticed that Sweyn and Adela do not share the same tent any more?’

I had not, but thought it now wise to share with him the true nature of their marriage, and the story of Mahnoor of Palermo and her tragic death.

‘How sad for both of them. When Adela has rested, I’ll talk to her. I think there are some things I can help her with –’

Hereward’s words were interrupted by the arrival of Estrith, another of our Brethren who seemed anxious as she walked away to talk with her father in private.

They soon came back and sat on the ground outside my tent. Hereward’s face showed no emotion.

Estrith took my arm. ‘Please, sit with us; I have something to tell you. I have been very foolish.’

I feared another Bertrand of Toulouse transgression had occurred, but the revelation was of a different order.

‘I have sullied my vocation again.’

I looked at Hereward, but his expression had not changed.

‘With Sweyn.’

I was struck dumb.

‘It happened when we were alone in the desert. I was so scared and he was so kind to me and so courageous; he got us through an ordeal we should never have survived. He had to check my wound every few hours. I was always naked from the waist up when he did it… well, I’ll spare you the details.’

‘What are his feelings?’

‘He’s a young man, I’m an older woman, I think he’s proud of his conquest and keeps coming back for more, but it’s just an infatuation.’

‘And you?’

‘The same; it will pass.’

‘Then, let it do so.’

‘It’s not as easy as that.’

She paused and looked at her father, who put his arm around her.

‘I’m pregnant.’

‘You can’t be!’

‘I know, I know. I’m nearly thirty-nine years old; I never dreamed I could fall pregnant, but I have. God works in mysterious ways.’

‘He certainly does.’

I needed time to think. This was a dilemma which could affect us all, and Estrith faced the prospect of a pregnancy and birth in the most challenging of circumstances. But it did not take me long to realize that it was a problem for the Brethren as a whole and one we had to discuss together.

‘Our Brethren makes us equals; each is responsible for and to each other. You have told your father and me; now Sweyn needs to tell Adela, and then we must come together to discuss what needs to be done. It affects us all. You are the Abbess of Fécamp, a gift from Robert. Zealots like Raymond of Toulouse will take the moral high ground; this is supposed to be a Christian Crusade against an alien and immoral faith.’