Виктория Холт - The Captive

During the next days I felt very depressed. I was realizing how important it was to me to know that Lucas was close at hand. I grew more and more worried about the operation. Carleton knew no more than I did, and it was typical of Lucas to be reticent about such a thing.

It was brought home to me how futile were my investigations. Lucas thought they were absurd and he was right.

If only he were at hand and I could send a message over to Trecorn and arrange a meeting.

I wondered what this operation would do to him, and I greatly feared the result.

Kate sensed my melancholy and tried to cheer me up. When we were reading my attention would stray and this puzzled her. It was during this time that I began to be sure that she had some affection for me.

That would have been very comforting at any other time but now I could think only of Lucas.

She would try to cajole me to talk and I found myself talking to her about the past. I told her of the house in Bloomsbury, of-my parents and their preoccupation with the British Museum. She was amused that I had been named after the Rosetta Stone.

She said: “It is like that with me. I haven’t got a father … but my mother has always had other things … not the British Museum but . other things …”

At any other time I should have questioned her about her feelings but I was so obsessed by Lucas that I let the opportunity pass.

She wanted to hear a great deal about Mr. Dolland. I told her about his ‘turns’ and she was particularly interested in The Bells.

“I wish we had them here,” she said.

“Wouldn’t it be fun?”

I admitted that it would and it had been fun in the old days.

She put her arm through mine and squeezed with a rare show of affection.

“It didn’t matter about them only caring for the old British Museum, did it? It doesn’t matter … if you have other things …”

I was touched. She was telling me that my presence made up for her mother’s neglect.

When I told her of Felicity’s arrival she squealed with delight. I saw why. It was the similarity with my coming to Perrivale.

“You thought some awful governess was coming,” she said.

“Old, of course,” I added, and we laughed.

“Well, they are all old,” she said.

“Did you think of how you were going to make her go?”

“No, I didn’t. I wasn’t such a monster as you are.”

She rocked back and forth in merriment.

“You wouldn’t go now, would you, Cranny?” she said.

“If I felt you wanted me to stay …”

“I do.”

“I thought you hated all governesses.”

“All of them except you.”

“I’m flattered and honoured.”

She smiled at me rather shyly and said: “I’m not going to call you Cranny any more. You’re going to be Rosetta. I think it’s ever so funny, being named after that thing.”

“Well, it was a rather special stone.”

“An old stone!”

“The adjective fits this time.”

“All those squiggly things on it… like worms.”

“Hieroglyphics are not in the least like worms.”

“All right. You’re Rosetta.”

I think because I had told her about my childhood she wanted to tell me about hers. And that, of course, was just what I wanted to hear.

“We must have been a long way from the British Museum,” she said.

“I never heard of it till now. We were always waiting for him to come home. “

“Your … father?” I prompted.

She nodded.

“It was awful. My mother was afraid … not so much as I was when I used to be there … all by myself. It was dark …”

“At night was this?”

She looked puzzled.

“I can’t remember. It was a horrid room. I had a bed on the floor in the corner … my mother was in the other bed. I used to look at her hair in the morning. It was like red gold all spread out over the pillow. I used to wake up in the morning … I didn’t know what to do. Then she’d be there … and she’d be gone again. There was someone from downstairs.

She used to look in to see if I was all right. “

“And you were all alone there for a lot of the time.”

“I think so.”

“What was your mother doing?”

“I don’t know.”

I thought: A chorus girl. Tom Parry married a chorus girl.

“You had Mr. Dolland and Mrs. Harlow …”

“Tell me, Kate … tell me all you can remember.”

“No, no,” she cried.

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember.” She turned to me suddenly and flung herself against me. I stroked her hair.

I said: “All right. Let’s forget it. It’s all over now. You’ve got me now … we’ll have some fun together. We’ll ride … we’ll read .. we’ll talk …”

I was learning so much . not about what I came to learn, but about Kate. She was a lonely child; she behaved as she did because she had been starved of love and attention. She was trying to attract it in the only way she knew. I felt resentful against Mirabel who had failed to give her the love she needed. She had had to work perhaps . but not now.

Kate disengaged herself abruptly, as though ashamed of her emotion.

She said: “It was all right when Gramps came.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Your grandfather. He loves you very much, doesn’t he?”

A smile illuminated her face.

“He came and took us away. He brought us here … and then it was all right. He tells lovely stories … all about battles.”

“It must have been wonderful when he took you away.”

She nodded.

“I remember … it was in the room … he sat on the bed. He said something about a contact…”

“A contact?”

“A contact in Cornwall.”

“Oh, he meant a friend, I suppose.”

She nodded. Her mood had changed. She was smiling.

“We went in a train. It was lovely. I sat on Gramps’s knee … and then we came to Seashell Cottage. I loved it … because Gramps was there. He was there all the time. He was there when it was dark. I liked the sea too. I loved to hear it banging against the cliffs. I could hear it ever so loud in my bedroom at Seashell Cottage.”

“And then,” I said, ‘there was Perrivale. You soon became friendly with them, didn’t you? “

“Oh yes. Gramps knew them and they liked him a lot. Well, everybody likes Gramps. They liked my mother too because she’s so beautiful.

Then she was going to marry Cosmo and we were going to leave Seashell Cottage and live in the big house. She was ever so pleased. So was Gramps . though he wasn’t going to live there, but he was pleased all the same. Then Cosmo died while we were still at the cottage. He died in Bindon Boys and the murderer ran away, so everyone knew who’d done it. “

“And what happened after that?”

She wrinkled her brows.

“My mother went away.”

“Went away? I thought she married Tristan.”

“She did … but at first she went away.”

“Where did she go?”

“I don’t know. She was ill.”

‘Ill? Then why did she go away? “

“She was very sick. I used to hear her. She looked very white. Once when she was ill and she didn’t know I was there, she looked in the glass at herself and said, ” Oh God, what now? ” I was little then. I thought God might say and I’d know what was the matter. Now I know people only say ” Oh God” when they’re frightened or angry. She was frightened because she was ill. Then Gramps said, ” Your mother is going away for a while. ” I said, ” Why? ” Gramps said because it would be good for her.

And she went. Gramps went with her to the station. He was going with her just at first. I was to stay with Mrs. Drake for two days. Then Gramps came back and I went back to Seashell Cottage with him. I said, “Where’s my mother?” He said, “She’s visiting friends.” I said I didn’t know we had any. Then he said, “You’ve got me, my darling. I’m your friend.” And he hugged me and I felt all right. It was great fun in Seashell Cottage with Gramps. He used to do the cooking and I helped him and we laughed a lot. ” She began to laugh at the memory.