Виктория Холт - The Captive

“Small payment for a life, and I should have said goodbye to mine if you hadn’t hauled me into the boat and looked after me when I was a burden to you. In any case, what I did was under Rosetta’s orders.”

“It wasn’t like that, Lucas,” I protested.

“You were eager to do everything you could.”

“Thank you, Lucas,” said Simon.

“You’re embarrassing me,” replied Lucas.

“So let’s forget it. Too much gratitude embarrasses the one who gives it and the one who takes it.”

“Nevertheless it’s there, Lucas,” I put in.

He did not stay long.

“Good old Lucas!” said Simon.

“He doesn’t really change much.”

“No,” I said, trying to smile brightly.

I kept thinking of Lucas. In fact, I could not stop myself thinking of him. He had truly loved me. He had helped bring back Simon . he had given Simon to me. That was true love, I supposed.

A few days passed. There was much coming and going at the house. Kate was subdued. She did not ask questions, but I could see she was watching Simon and me closely.

Since the death of her grandfather, she had changed a great deal; she had loved him so deeply; she had admired him so much. looked up to him, the Major of the Guards who, she had once told me, had been the bravest man in the Army, the hero of every battle. It must have been a terrible shock to her. I knew that she would have learned a great deal about him, though she never spoke of him. She relied on me more than ever, I believed; and she was looking anxiously into the future.

Simon talked to me more freely now. We seemed to have recovered from that first restraint.

“Tristan is just made for this place,” he said.

“He and Cosmo, they were brought up to believe it would be theirs. I never felt like that.

I think poor old Tristan would be broken-hearted if he had to go away from here. “

“Couldn’t he stay? There’s plenty to do.”

“But he thought the place was his. He had complete control. It’s a difficult situation. Do you know, I think I might go back to Australia. I could get a big property out there . I could have people working for me. I wonder . what you’d think of the place? “

I thought: It’s coming. At last he is going to ask me. That thought was immediately followed by another: Australia? I should never see Lucas again.

He saw the look in my eyes. He said: “It was a dream of mine … all that time. I’d make a go of it and somehow I’d get a message to you.

I’d ask you to come out and join me. We forget. people change.

We’re apt to think they go on just the same . I always thought of you as you were on the island . and when I left you outside the Embassy You’re different. “

I said: “You’re different too, Simon. Life changes people. So much happened to me … after. So much happened to you.”

“You couldn’t leave England,” he said.

“You couldn’t now. Perhaps if we had gone together then, it might have been different. What you want is here. You will have to do what is best for yourself. We mustn’t either of us blind ourselves to our romantic and adventurous past.

Perhaps we both dreamed of a future . forgetting that life was going on . changing us . changing everything around us. We are not the same people who said goodbye to each other outside the Embassy. “

“You wanted to come back to England more than any thing then.”

He nodded.

“You see,” he said rather sadly, ‘we have to face the truth. “

“You’ve explained it,” I told him.

“We’re different.”

“We’ve come through dangerous times, Rosetta. We must make sure we are on the right course now. You will always be a very special person to me. I shall never forget you.”

“Nor I you, Simon.”

I felt as though a great weight had been lifted from me.

I rode over to Trecorn Manor. Lucas heard me and came out of the house.

“I wanted to talk to you, Lucas,” I said.

“Simon and I have discussed things. We understand each other perfectly.”

“Yes, of course,” said Lucas.

“Simon wants to go back to Australia.”

“Oh yes,” he said.

“I thought he might. And you are going with him.”

“No, Lucas, of course I couldn’t go. How could I leave you?”

He turned to me and I had never seen him look like that before.

“Are you sure?” he said.

“I am absolutely sure that it is the one thing I shall never do.”