Виктория Холт - The Captive

They stood still, looking at me, their faces solemn. They sensed that something terrible was happening and everyone was very sad about it.

Jennifer looked at me and her face suddenly crumpled.

“I want my mummy,” she said.

I held out my arms and she ran to me. Henry followed her. I held them tightly.

That decided me. I could not leave immediately. I must stay for a while.

I was glad I stayed. I felt I was doing something useful and that I brought a modicum of comfort to that stricken household.

I spent a great deal of time in the nursery with the children at that hour when it had been their mother’s custom to be with them; and between us Nanny Crockett and I managed to get them over the first tragic days of heartbreak. They were too young to understand fully what had happened and we smoothed away some of that uneasiness which they would inevitably feel; there were times when they would be absorbed in something and forget; but sometimes one of them would wake in the night and cry for Mummy. The other would wake and share the terrible loss. But usually either Nanny Crockett or I was there to offer comfort.

Carleton continued to be dazed. The blow was all the sharper for being unexpected. Fortunately there was a good deal of work to be done on the estate; that kept him busy and he was met with sympathy and understanding wherever he went. I knew he would never be the same again. He was particularly shattered because life had followed an even stream of contentment and he had expected it to go on doing so. I knew at times he found it hard to believe that this had really happened to him and he seemed unable to grasp that Theresa was no longer there and never would be again.

Lucas had grown philosophical. He did not expect life to flow peacefully. Tragedy had already struck him and he was not surprised that it had come again. Perhaps that was why he was able to face it more realistically.

He said to me: “You have done a great deal for us. It was fortunate for us that you were here when it happened.”

“I wish I could do more,” I told him.

“You and Nanny Crockett have been wonderful with the children. As for Carleton … only time will help him.”

We took short rides together and the days began to pass.

I could not stay at Trecorn Manor indefinitely and I was not by any means looking forward to returning to London. I had come to Trecorn Manor with the hope of discovering something which would help me unravel the mystery; now I was seeing how ridiculously optimistic I had been.

Theresa’s death had temporarily forced that other tragedy into the background of my mind, but my obsession was returning. I sometimes felt that if I could get into Perrivale Court, really become acquainted with some of the main actors in the drama, I might make some progress. I had been foolish to hope that just because I was staying near the house I might accomplish this. I felt inadequate and alone. There were times when I was on the verge of taking Lucas into my confidence. He was clever, subtle. He might have ideas. On the other hand, he could dismiss my belief in Simon as romantic folly. In his realist way he would say, “The man was found with the gun in his hand and he ran away and would not face investigation. That speaks for itself. Simply because he happened to show a certain resourcefulness and helped save our lives does not make him innocent.”

No, I could not entirely trust Lucas, but how I longed to confide in someone . someone who would work with me, join in the search . someone who believed in Simon’s innocence.

There was no help for it. I should have to go home. I had already stayed on two weeks after Felicity had left with James; and in the first place I had only intended to stay one.

When I thought of returning to Bloomsbury and the domination of Aunt Maud I was distinctly depressed. I could not face that. Moreover, I had to consider my future. My fantastic adventure had put a bridge between my childhood and my adult life.

I felt lost and lonely. If only, I kept saying to myself . if only I could prove Simon’s innocence. If only he could return and we could be together.

We had forged a bond between us which it seemed could never be broken.

Lucas had shared that adventure with us but he was not involved as we were. Close as he had been to us during those days, he had never shared the secret and that set him apart. He was very perceptive. I often wondered whether he had guessed anything.

How many times a day I was on the point of pouring out my feelings to him . telling him everything!

He might have helped a great deal in solving the mystery. But dared I tell him?

And so I pondered and as each day drew to a close I knew that I could not go on in this way. I should have to make some decision sooner or later. Should I give up this quest which seemed hopeless? Should I return to Bloomsbury and let myself fall into Aunt Maud’s capable hands?

One of my greatest comforts was talking to Nanny Crockett. She was my strongest link with Simon. She loved him as, I admitted now, I did;

and that was a great bond between us.

She was a compulsive talker and the murder at Bindon Boys was as absorbing a topic to her as it was to me. As a matter of fact, she would return to the subject without my prompting her and gradually certain facts began to emerge which were of vital importance to me.

She even knew something about the Perrivale household at that time.

She said: “I used to go over now and then. That was just before it all blew up. You see, when the boys went to school I took a post in Upbridge … quite close really. A dear little thing she was . named Grace. I got very fond of her. She helped to make up a bit for the loss of my boy. Not that that was a dead loss. Simon wasn’t the sort to let that happen. He used to come over to see me and sometimes I’d go over to Perrivale and have a cup of tea with the housekeeper there, Mrs. Ford … she was a friend of mine. We’d always got on. She ran things over there … still does. Even got the butler under her thumb. She’s that sort of woman … good-hearted though … but knows how to keep things in order. Well, that’s what a housekeeper should do, I reckon. Not that I’d have had her interfering in the nursery. She never tried that on me … and we were the best of friends always … or almost always … and I’d be over there for a cup of tea and it was nice to catch up with the news.”

“So it was only when you came here that you didn’t see them.”

“Oh, I still go over now and then. If Jack Carter’s taking a load of something over Upbridge way he’ll come and pick me up. He’ll drop me at the house and when he’s done his business come for me and bring me home. It makes a nice little outing and it keeps me in touch with them over at Perrivale.”

“So you still go over to Perrivale Court!”

“Well, it’s a month or two since I was last there. And when all this was on I didn’t go at all. It wouldn’t have seemed right somehow ..

and there was the police and everyone prying . if you know what I mean. “

“When was the last time you went?”

“It would be three months ago, I reckon. It don’t seem the same now.

Never has . since Simon went. “

“That’s some time ago.”

“Yes … some time. When there’s a murder in a place it seems to change everything.”

Tell me about the household. I’d like to hear. “

“You’re like everyone else. Miss. You can’t resist a murder.”

“Well, this is a mysterious one, isn’t it? And you don’t believe Simon did it.”

“That I don’t. And I’d give a lot to prove it.”

“Perhaps the answer is somewhere in the house.”

“Now what do you mean by that?”