Виктория Холт - The Captive

I was dressed in lavender silk garments with the wide trousers caught in at the ankles with jewelled bands. Over the trousers I wore a tunic which fell to the waist. It was in silk with a layer of fine gauze over it. Sequins had been sewn in profusion over the silk and shone mysteriously through the gauzy material, giving a subtle sheen. I had to admit that the costume had great charm.

On my feet were sandals with curled points at the toes. They were in satin and bejewelled.

Then my hair was combed so that it fell about my shoulders and a garland of mauve flowers was put on my head and others about my ankles. My lips were reddened, my eyes carefully lined with kohl so that they looked enormous and a deeper blue.

I was ready for submission.

Wild thoughts came into my mind. What would happen if I refused to go, or if I tried to escape from the harem? How? The gates were locked and guarded by the Pasha’s eunuchs . big men, all chosen for their size. How could I escape?

I had to face the truth. There was no escape.

Rani took my hand and shook her head at me. She was admonishing me for some reason. It must be because I looked so miserable. She was telling me to smile, to show happiness and appreciation of the great honour which might well be mine this night.

That was something I could not do.

Nicole was standing by. She was one of those who had helped to dress me. She said something to Rani, who appeared to consider.

Then Rani nodded and gave Nicole a key. Nicole left us.

I sat on the divan. I felt quite helpless. I had been brought so far for this. I had a vision of myself . chosen by the Pasha . bearing a child who would be the rival of Samir and Feisal. I had a father who was an important man, a professor attached to the British Museum. I wanted to tell them that, if the Pasha attempted to treat my father’s daughter as though she were a slave girl, there would be trouble. I was English. The great Queen did not allow her subjects to be treated in this way.

I was trying to give myself courage. I knew I was talking a great deal of nonsense to myself. What did these people care who I was? They were the rulers here. I was nothing.

Perhaps I could tell him how eager the other girls were to share his bed. Why not take one of those who were so willing, and let this one go? Would it be possible to explain to him? Would he listen? And if he did, would he under stand?

Nicole came back. She was carrying a goblet in her hand.

“Drink this,” she said.

“You will feel better.”

“No. I won’t.”

“I tell you it will do you good.”

“What is it?”

One of the other girls added her persuasion. She wrapped her arms about herself and swayed to and fro.

“She is telling you that it will make you want love. It will make things easier for you. In any case, it was Rani who ordered it. She thinks you are not eager and the Pasha likes women to be eager.”

A sort of aphrodisiac, I thought.

“I will not,” I said.

Nicole came close to me.

“Don’t be a fool,” she hissed. She was looking into my eyes, trying to tell me something. Take,” she went on.

“You will find it … good … just what you need now. Drink … drink …I am your friend.”

There was some hidden meaning in her words. I took the goblet and drank the contents. It was revolting.

“Soon …” said Nicole.

“Soon …”

After a few moments I began to feel very ill. Nicole had disappeared with the goblet. I tried to stand but I could not. I felt giddy.

One of the girls called for Rani, who came in great consternation. I could feel the sweat running down my face and I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors. I was very pale.

Rani was shouting to everyone. I was put on to a divan. I felt very ill indeed.

Nicole had appeared. I fancied she was smiling secretively.

I was not presented to the Pasha. I lay on my divan feeling sick unto death. I really believed my last moment had come.

I thought of Nicole smiling her secret smile. She had done this. She had feared that I would please the Pasha and bear a child who would oust Samir. Could this be so . or was she truly my friend? Whatever the answer, she had saved me from the Pasha that night.

In a day or so I began to recover and with my recovery came the belief that Nicole had done this to save me from what I had dreaded. True, at the same time she was helping herself. Why not? Nicole was French and took a realistic view of life. The fact that she could serve herself and me at the same time would make the idea doubly attractive to her.

As I began to feel better, I realized I had riot been so ill as I had believed. If I had, I could not have regained my health so quickly.

Nicole told me that when Rani had sent her to the cupboard to bring the aphrodisiac which was given to some girls before they went to the Pasha for the first time, she had substituted it for a draught which she knew would make me too sick to be sent.

“Was it not what you wanted?” she demanded.

“Did you not say that anything … anything …”

“I did. I did. And I thank you, Nicole.”

“I told you I was your friend. Aida was the chosen one. She has not yet returned. She must be in high favour. She would never have been if you had been there.”

“I am so glad. She longed to be chosen.”

“The little horror will be unbearable when she comes back. It is a great honour to be kept there in the Pasha’s apartments. She will be too important to speak to us … insufferable. You will see.”

I was slowly recovering from my sickness and Rani from her disappointment. But she was a little reconciled because Aida had found such favour.

After three days, Aida returned. She had become a very important personage. She swept into the harem, her manner completely changed; she was languid and regarded us all with contempt. She had a pair of beautiful ruby earrings and a magnificent ruby necklace about her throat. Rani’s attitude towards her had changed. Little Aida had become one of the important ladies of the harem.

She was certain she was pregnant.

“Silly creature,” said Nicole.

“How could she know yet?”

All the same, Nicole was worried.

“It may be you are safe for a little while,” she comforted me.

“For if he liked her so much as to keep her for three days and nights he might send for her again. That was what happened to me in my day.

The most grateful woman in the harem must be Aida and that gratitude should be for you.”

“Perhaps he wouldn’t have chosen me. He might have liked her better.”

Nicole looked at me disbelievingly.

It was with great relief that I heard, through Nicole, who had it from the Chief Eunuch, that the Pasha had gone away for three weeks.

Three weeks! A great deal could happen in that time. Perhaps I should hear something from Simon. If it were possible to devise some means of getting out of this place . and if anyone could do it, surely he could.

A few days passed. Aida was making herself very unpopular. She wore her rubies all the time and would sit by the pool taking them in her hands and admiring them, reminding everyone of the favour she had found and how she pitied them all for not having the beauty and charm necessary to enslave the Pasha.

She appeared languid and assumed the ailments of pregnancy.

Nicole laughed at her. So did the others. One of them had quarrelled with her so violently that they fought and Aida’s face was maliciously scratched by the other.

That sent Aida into floods of tears. When the Pasha returned she could not go to him with a wound on her face.

Rani was angry and the two girls were shut away for three days. Rani would have liked to beat them, Nicole told me, but she was afraid of bruising their bodies, particularly Aida’s. One thing about a harem was that its inmates were not submitted to physical violence while they were part of it.