Dan Smith - The Child Thief

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s starting to snow again.’ I smiled. ‘With a bit of luck it’ll cover our tracks anyway. It’s about time we had some help from up there, don’t you think? Maybe we haven’t been abandoned after all.’

Evgeni stared for a moment. Thick flakes were beginning to drift around us, not many, but the sky was turning grey, and somewhere far away there was the long rolling sound of thunder.

‘How can you smile?’ he asked.

‘Last night I was freezing to death in a bell tower. Today I have a good coat and boots; I’ve found Dariya; I’m with my sons, and the snow is falling to cover our escape. I have a lot to smile about. We need to look for the good in what we have, Evgeni; it’s the only way to survive.’

‘I’m not sure I can find good in anything any more.’

‘You’re free, aren’t you? You’re no longer on your way to a labour camp. You could’ve been mining coal, building a railway, but now you have your freedom.’

‘For now.’

‘Then we must keep it that way.’ Evgeni and his friends had given me bread and water when I needed it. They had offered me warmth and solidarity. I could see that Evgeni was afraid, just as I had been before, but now for different reasons. Now Evgeni had the responsibility of the others and he faced the possibility of being followed by soldiers. I wanted to do more to help, but there was nothing left for me to do other than reassure him.

‘The way it’s falling now, the snow will be your friend. It will cover those bodies and maybe no one will even come looking for you,’ I told him. ‘They won’t care that much about a few old men and women going missing. I’ve met people like Lermentov, and I’m sure he wouldn’t follow us even if he knew we’d gone; he can’t spare men to the wilderness. He has other things to keep him occupied. No, he’ll just hope the weather kills us.’

‘You think we can survive out here?’

‘All you have to do is survive long enough to get to Vyriv. Keep moving, keep warm, keep to the trees and you’ll be fine. We’ll meet you and cross to Poland together.’

‘You really mean that? You’ll wait for us?’

‘For a while. But don’t tell any of the people where you’re going. Only Yuri and Dimitri.’

‘Why?’

‘Any one of them could be an informer,’ I said. ‘Any one of them could try to pass on the information.’

‘Out here?’ He looked around him.

‘Anywhere,’ I said.

‘So what do I say?’

‘Tell them you’re going to meet us – that’s enough.’

‘So what about me? What about Yuri and Dimitri? You trust us?’

‘I suppose I have to.’

While Evgeni and the others gathered the rifles and clothing, I prepared the horses to leave. I mounted, taking Aleksandra and Dariya, while Petro and Viktor took the second horse. We would be a heavy load for the animals, but the horses were strong and they would cope. When they grew tired we would walk for a while, give them a chance to rest.

‘What about us?’ Anatoly asked. The two soldiers were standing like abandoned children, not knowing what to do. ‘Where do we go?’

‘You can do as you please,’ I said, looking down at them. ‘But if I were you, I wouldn’t go back to Sushne. If you’re lucky, Lermentov will shoot you; maybe watch you dig your own grave first. If you’re not so lucky, maybe he’ll put you up in that bell tower for a while.’

The two soldiers looked across at Evgeni and the others preparing to leave.

‘ They’ll never trust you,’ I said. ‘After what’s happened to them, they may even kill you.’ I watched them, feeling a weight in my chest. They probably had no idea how to survive alone in good weather, never mind in these conditions.

‘Please,’ Sasha said. ‘You can’t just leave us here.’ The snow was falling faster now, the flakes smaller but filling the air, covering our hats and settling on our shoulders.

‘What do you want me to do?’ I asked them.

‘Take us with you.’

‘I can’t do that.’ But I couldn’t leave them out here to die either. I closed my eyes for a moment and turned my face to the sky, feeling the cold spots on my eyelashes and lips. I had come out here to take responsibility for one small child, but now it seemed I’d collected far more along the way. Aleksandra, the refugees, and now two young soldiers who were out of their depth and afraid.

The horse was becoming restless and it shifted beneath me. I opened my eyes and leaned forward to reassure it, speaking to it, stroking the side of its neck.

‘In your shoes,’ I said to the soldiers, ‘I’d go on. Wherever you were supposed to take us, go there and hope that whoever is in charge is more forgiving than Lermentov. Maybe you can even lose yourselves at the transit prison – God knows there’ll be other prisoners and soldiers. Disappear among them. Take a train back into Russia and go home. Find your wife.’ I looked at Anatoly. ‘Go to her so that you can remember her face. It’s what I would do.’

‘And then?’

I shrugged. ‘And then find somewhere to hide. For now it’s kulaks, but soon I think there’ll be enemies of the state everywhere. Russia will suddenly be full of them, and there will be plenty of work for them all. All I can do is wish you luck.’

I turned the horse and called over to Evgeni, raising a hand to him. Evgeni nodded, lifted a hand to head height and held it there. He was still standing that way when I nudged the horse and left the road, making for the trees and the place where Viktor and Petro had left our belongings.

The horses were well-trained rugged beasts that moved without complaint. Mine worked hard beneath the extra weight, but Aleksandra and Dariya were not heavy and it walked on with little encouragement. I swayed with its movement, keeping balanced in the saddle, wedged between Dariya in front and Aleksandra behind.

There was great respite in not being on my feet, and I could feel the ache in my legs from the walking and the sting in my toes from the cold. I wanted to hurry back to Vyriv. knowing what might be happening there, but now I was back with my sons and I had found Dariya, there was a sense of relief that melted with the tiredness and the hunger and slipped around me.

‘How far?’ I asked, shaking my head and forcing myself to concentrate on following my sons. In front, the rear of the other horse moved on.

‘Not far.’ Petro turned so he could look back. I saw the profile of his head, only his nose poking between the covering of his scarves and his hat pulled low to his eyes.

‘A few minutes,’ I heard Viktor agree. ‘And we have some meat. We can make a fire, boil water, have some tea—’

‘We haven’t time for that,’ I told him. ‘We have to get home.’

‘I want to get home too,’ he said. ‘But when was the last time you ate?’

I thought back to the rabbit we’d shared and tried to remember if I had eaten since then. I could almost taste the meat now; feel something in my belly cry out for it. ‘I had some bread. Just before I left.’

‘Enough?’

‘Of course not. But we haven’t time to stop.’

‘What difference is a few minutes going to make? You need food and something hot.’

‘We need to go on,’ I said.

‘And Dariya. She needs to eat too.’

‘She can eat while we ride.’

‘She needs something warm. We all do.’

I started to protest again, but this time Aleksandra spoke from behind me. Her arms were tight around my waist, her mouth close to my ear so it sounded as if her voice was in my head.

‘You’re falling asleep,’ she said. ‘I can feel you relaxing. You’re hungry and you’re tired. And the way your face looks… Something to eat and drink will make you feel better.’