Dan Smith - The Child Thief

There was almost nothing to see on the plain of white, other than the places where black rocks broke through. Without the trees for protection, almost all trace of any track was gone, smothered by the heavy fall of snow. Close up, I could see the child thief had come to the spot where we now stood, but further out in the open I saw nothing.

I looked across towards an overstood coppice of hornbeam just less than a kilometre away. And there, among the cluster of trees, I could see a small, primitive building.

‘Shepherd’s hut?’ I passed the binoculars to Viktor for him to look.

Viktor wiped the lenses and held them to his eyes. ‘I don’t know.’

I called Petro, asking, ‘What do you think?’

Petro hesitated before taking the binoculars and looking into the distance. ‘Where’re the sheep?’

‘Hm?’

‘Sheep. If it’s a shepherd’s hut, where are the sheep?’

‘On a collective?’ I suggested.

‘And why would there be a hut this low?’

Petro had a point, but a shepherd’s hut wasn’t impossible down here.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ I said. ‘It’s where the tracks lead us.’

‘No sign of life at all,’ Petro said. ‘Nothing.’

‘We can’t go that way now,’ Viktor said. ‘Cross open land in daylight. That hut’s a perfect place to watch from: he’ll see us coming.’

‘You’re right.’ Viktor was thinking now and I was pleased he had something to occupy his thoughts other than what he’d done on the road. ‘What would you do?’

‘Wait until dark?’

I nodded. ‘Or maybe just one of us going up there would be hard to spot. Keep low. There are rocks,’ I pointed. ‘I could use them to stay hidden.’

‘Maybe an hour ago,’ Viktor said. ‘The way it was snowing, you could have tried it, but now? No, you’d never get up there without him shooting at you. Some of those rocks are too far apart. It’ll take too long to get from one to the other.’

I studied the way the land rose and fell, wondering if I could make it to the hut without being seen. But there wasn’t a direct route to the crest of the hill that would provide sufficient cover.

‘You could follow the forest,’ Aleksandra said. ‘It curves around that way.’ She indicated north. ‘Maybe if you come from that direction, he won’t be watching.’

I looked at the arc of the forest edge, the way the trees hugged the hillside, embracing it. ‘I thought of that already,’ I said, ‘but it would take too long.’

‘Longer than waiting for dark?’ she asked.

‘No.’

‘And you already decided there’s no direct approach.’

‘Right.’

‘Then what choice do you have?’

‘You think like a general,’ Petro said. ‘Outflank him. I like it.’

‘All right, you three stay here,’ I told them. ‘If I move fast, it shouldn’t take me more than an hour to get around there. Make yourselves visible from time to time. Not for too long, but if he’s seen us already, it’ll be enough to make him think we’re still here. If we’re lucky he’ll think we’re trying to decide what to do and it’ll keep him focused on this place. I’ll signal if it’s safe to come.’

I took the rifle from my shoulder, removed my pack and placed it on the ground, thinking I’d move better without it. The others could bring it with them, or I’d collect it on my return. I adjusted the way the satchel was hanging and retrieved my rifle.

‘Keep watching,’ I said, handing the binoculars to Viktor. ‘If there’s anything that looks like trouble, fire two shots.’ I wanted to keep Viktor busy, give him something to do. He had been quiet for a while after we’d left the place by the road, and I was glad to see him regain some of his spirit. What he had done would haunt him, but he needed to accept it, and if he had something else to share space with those thoughts, he would get some perspective.

Viktor hesitated with the binoculars in one hand, then shook his head and offered them back. ‘Why don’t you let me go?’ he said.

‘What?’

‘I’ll go up there.’ He glanced across at the hut nestling in the trees. ‘Let me.’

I watched him, looking to see what was in his eyes.

‘Please. I want to do it. Let me go.’

I knew it was his guilt talking. The kind of guilt that could make a person stoop with the weight of it on their back, sitting like a devil on his shoulders, whispering in his ears, pulling at his cheeks. ‘Your head’s not clear,’ I said.

‘It’s clear enough.’

‘You’ve nothing to prove. Nothing to feel guilty about.’

‘I don’t—’

‘You need to stay here. You’re not ready for something like this.’

‘What do you mean I’m not ready? I can shoot. I can walk. I can go up there just as easily as you can. Maybe better. Let me go and I’ll find this man and kill him. Let it be me .’ He began to walk away, so I took his arm and pulled him away from the others.

‘I’m not letting you go out there on your own, Viktor. I can see what’s in your mind. It’s in your eyes, the way you move and talk.’

‘What?’

‘There were men,’ I said. ‘In the war. Soldiers who survived their comrades. Soldiers who took the last reserves of food from a village and left the children to starve. Soldiers who killed women when they—’

‘Why are you telling me this?’ He tried to break away but I held him tighter, gripping his coat with both hands and shaking him.

‘Because they had the same look in their eyes,’ I said. ‘They weren’t strong enough to live with what they did, so it ate at them until they were mad. The first to run into battle when there was no chance of survival; the first to charge through artillery fire, raise their heads above the parapet, go over when the time came for attack. They fought beyond the call of duty and they were doomed men, Viktor. Doomed because they couldn’t live with themselves.’

Viktor stared at me.

‘That’s why you can’t go. Because I see that in your eyes, and I’m afraid that if I let you go, you’ll do something rash.’

I put my arm around him and held him so our cheeks were touching.

‘Look after Aleksandra,’ I said. ‘That’s your duty now. I know how you’re feeling, and I know you want to do something to make it feel right, but this is not the best thing for you. Going up there instead of me isn’t going to make you feel any better. It won’t rub out what happened. You have to just accept it. Live with it.’

‘Let me try,’ he said.

I shook my head and stood back. ‘What you did, Viktor… I would have done it too.’

‘But you didn’t. And last night, when we followed you, you didn’t shoot. You called out to us.’

‘It was a mistake,’ I said. ‘One that could’ve got me killed if it hadn’t been you. I should’ve shot.’

Viktor took a deep breath and blew it out into the cold air. ‘You don’t mean that. I know you don’t.’

‘Do what I asked. Look after Aleksandra. I’ll go up there and I’ll let you know if it’s safe. We’ll talk about this later.’

Viktor turned away, anger rising in his eyes, but I liked that better than seeing the guilt.

Circumnavigating the base of the hill, I remained in the forest, keeping the hill to my right. The snow was deep where it had been drifted by the wind and rippled like the dunes of a desert. It was difficult to move, my feet sinking until I was knee-deep, my legs feeling heavy. My stomach was empty too, a sensation that added to my weakness, amplifying my exhaustion. I was a tired and hollow man, wishing I’d prepared better for this journey, but I pressed on, dragging myself through the snow, trying to find the places where it was shallow, or where a firm crust had formed over the top so it made movement easier.