“No rhymes!”
His patience exhausted, the teacher grabbed Gao with his bony hand and dragged him to the student affairs office, where he screamed at the director, “It was Su Dongpo who rhymed, not me! How could I avoid it? This is ridiculous!” He was visibly agitated, but the student affairs director had no idea what had caused the teacher’s outburst.
“What happened?” the director asked calmly.
The classics teacher was so hot under the collar his face had turned purple. “If I don’t teach well and you’re unhappy, just tell me. But you can’t do it this way. It’s Su Dongpo who rhymed. I repeat: it wasn’t me!”
Still confused, the student affairs director shifted his questioning eyes from the classics teacher to Chu Tian just as the principal walked by. The classics teacher pulled the principal over and continued even more shrilly, “He can complain if I’m not doing a good job teaching the class, but not like this!”
By now a crowd of students and teachers had gathered. The principal raised his chin.
“Calm down and tell me what happened,” he said.
The teacher dragged Gao over and pushed him up to the principal. “Let him tell you.”
The steam had left Gao by then, but he refused to give his mouth a rest.
“Ridiculous!” the teacher mumbled to himself.
“No rhymes!” Gao said, catching his second wind.
“Ridiculous!”
“No rhymes!”
“Ridiculous!”
“No rhymes!”
The teacher sputtered and began to tremble. “You… you… cra… zy… lu… na… tic.” With that, he spun around and stormed off.
The teacher’s outburst had given the principal a sense of what had happened, so he leaned over and, with one hand behind his back, reached out to touch Gao’s forehead.
With astonishing arrogance, Gao knocked the principal’s hand away and intoned a poem with a sad and gloomy look.
Five fingers
A hand the man had
When you balled your fist
I was so very sad
The principal smiled, intending to smooth things over. “Didn’t you just rhyme?” he asked.
“No rhymes!” Gao said.
The principal turned and whispered in the director’s ear, “Call for an ambulance.”
Gao tried to escape when the ambulance arrived, but five male students from the school security team pounced on him. Shouting angrily, he fought to break free, but the team wrestled him to the ground and restrained him. A doctor in a white smock came up and promptly gave Gao an injection, a wonderfully useful shot; this created a lively, comical scene that was witnessed by everyone in sight. The hardworking crystal liquid quietly did its job, and Gao slowly crumpled before their eyes. His belly heaved a few times with increasingly less force each time, and that was his body’s last attempt to struggle. His eyes glazed over as if he were blind, and his mouth hung slack like a beached fish’s; a long stream of drool oozed from it. The students were convinced that Chu Tian would never again be Chu Tian; he could only go on as Gao Honghai.
Yuyang stole the first thing in her life on the evening Gao Honghai was carted away in the ambulance. At nine-twenty-eight, shortly before lights-out, she slipped into the dining hall unnoticed. She’d made a meticulous calculation, knowing that her timing had to be perfect—not a second too early nor a second too late. She walked bent at the waist, feeling her thumping heart ready to burst from her chest, but she managed to control herself and tiptoe over to the rack with the boys’ bowls. She looked and listened carefully to make sure no one saw her before turning on her flashlight to begin searching the rows of bowls. Finally she located Chu Tian’s enamel rice bowl, which was stenciled with the dark red English letters CHT; she had stolen so many glances at the bowl that the three letters were seared on her heart. Now for the first time it was inches away.
She grabbed Chu Tian’s stainless steel spoon and put it in her pocket, then she killed the light and ran off. When she was almost out the door, she bumped into a dining table and felt a piercing pain in her knee. But she fled the room, not daring to check her injury, and made it back to Room 412 in the girls’ dormitory just as the lights went out. All conversation stopped as soon as she walked in. Without washing up, she climbed into bed and pulled down the mosquito net before taking the spoon out of her pocket. After a momentary hesitation, she put it in her mouth and tasted the coldness of the stainless steel, which seemed to reach all the way down to the deepest recess of her body. She felt the hard steel and its smooth, curved surface, and hot tears welled up in her eyes. Her knee was also hot and burning, and was probably bleeding by now. Pulling the blanket up to cover her head, Yuyang buried her face in the pillow and sobbed so hard that the bed frame began to quake.
“What’s so funny, Yuyang?” Kong Zhaodi asked from the upper bunk. “Aren’t you going to share it with us?”
When he wasn’t busy working, Teacher Wei Xiangdong’s favorite activity was chatting up the female teachers. You might say that flirting with the female faculty had become his hobby. No one could have anticipated the trouble that would ultimately emerge from his mouth. As the saying goes, “Mistakes inevitably arise when one talks too much.” Qi Lianjuan, a chemistry teacher who had been married for two years, had never come to Wei for the “item.” But her belly remained stubbornly flat.
As someone given to vulgarity, Wei betrayed himself with his mouth one day when he cracked a joke regarding Qi. Most of the time Qi was one of the more open-minded, easygoing teachers on the faculty, but what Wei said that day upset her. His attempt at humor occurred when there were several other teachers around.
“Teacher Qi,” he said during the conversation, “it’s time for you to have a baby, don’t you think?”
He continued, “If your husband is lazy, there’s always me to help out. If not you, who else would I help?” He smiled.
If it had been one of the other teachers, she’d have punched and pinched him, but that would have only enhanced their friendship. They would be closer than ever.
But not Teacher Qi, whose face reddened slowly, culminating in a deep purple. Unable to bear the loss of face, she turned and walked off after tossing a comment at Wei. “Who do you think you are, you shameless ass?”
It was an awkward moment for everyone, especially Wei, who made a few lame excuses as the gathering broke up. Qi’s husband, the son of a ranking cadre, had stayed on at the school after graduation. He was socially inept, like a stick of chalk, a man who could manage a few words only if you pushed him; if not, nothing emerged. A lab worker with mediocre talents, he was lucky enough to marry a smart woman with a sharp tongue. After losing the verbal battle, Wei returned to his office in the student union, out of sorts.
He lit a cigarette in the duty office, but the knot in his heart still remained as Qi’s comment played itself over and over in his mind.
“Who do you think you are?”
A harmless comment, but hurtful to him, for he knew who he was. Or, more accurately, he knew who he wasn’t; he wasn’t a man or a woman. He was the conventional “third sex,” for he had been impotent for years, a fact known only to him and his wife. In a clinical sense, the affliction could be traced back to the summer of 1979. Before that, he had performed well in bed.
In fact, the bed had been his revolutionary domain, a place where he could “start a campaign” anytime he pleased, and his wife, Tan Meihua, was the target. The pained look on her face spoke volumes. All he had to do was say “Hey,” and she would spread herself on the bed, an event that was repeated every two or three days. All she asked of him was to drink less and to be gentler when he was drunk.
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