Cynthia Cartier - Wings

Jenna had written to Ellis and asked if he had heard any news of Reid. When she received an answer back, she waited until a two day leave to tell Liddy what he’d said. Major Reid Trent had been shot down over the Nazi controlled countryside in France. What was left of his squadron confirmed that he hadn’t chuted out. The plane was behind the German line, so it couldn’t be recovered, but the crash site could be seen from the air and was burned to the frame.

When she received a bundle of letters in her handwriting to Reid, stamped deceased, both sides of Liddy let him rest. She quietly reconciled her spirit to the unbearable wreckage that life can offer up.

Liddy wished she knew Reid’s family and could tell them how sorry she was. She wanted them to know how much he meant to her and that she meant something to him and wanted them to be sorry for her too. Liddy wanted someone to know what they meant to each other, but no one really knew. It was all letters. Letters and talks with Louise. Only she and Reid knew. No one had seen it or felt it but them.

She hadn’t answered Louise’s last three letters, so she sat down to cement the reality of it all—the reality that something almost was, but now it wasn’t, and it was really over.

June 27, 1944

Dear Louie,

How are you? How are the Prince and Princess? Did they enjoy their trip to the Grand Canyon with your parents? Tell them I said hi and that I love them. Sorry I haven’t written in awhile. Louie, he’s gone. Reid was shot down in March and he’s dead. I kept hoping, but he’s gone. I can’t talk about it more than that right now, but I’ll write more later. I promise.

I’m okay, really. Please, please don’t worry. I’ll write soon.

It took over a half an hour to get out the few lines and Liddy’s tears had soaked the paper. She tore off another sheet from her writing tablet and rewrote it so that Louise might believe she was really okay.

It was a sunny October afternoon when Liddy returned from a Ferry mission and reported to the ready room where it seemed every WASP at New Castle was in the room and red-faced. In hushed tones, they shouted to one another and some of them just sat and cried.

Liddy spotted Jenna who was in a heated discussion with Teresa Hinton and some other WASPs. She didn’t want to ask, but forced herself and walked over and interrupted the group, “What now?”

“We’ve been deactivated,” said Jenna.

“What?”

“It’s over. They’ve sent us packing,” said Teresa.

“But the war’s still on,” said Liddy.

“Doesn’t matter, December twentieth, at midnight it’s over.” Jenna looked at Liddy with tear-filled eyes. “Pack your bags, Hall.”

“But why?” Liddy asked.

“Who knows, politics, public opinion that wants to put us back in our place. There’s been a line of people waiting for us to fail. Guess they got tired of waiting.” Jenna tore a flight map in two and let it fall to the floor.

Liddy couldn’t make the words fall into place in her head, and the disbelief mixed into an irrational concoction that rolled and bubbled inside her. A smile drew itself across her face as a muffled chuckle forced into the air and soon it was followed by an all out roar.

The room fell silent except for Liddy’s howl. The women watched her face cover with tears as she laughed and cried with her whole body. “They’re discharging us and we were never charged. All this time, I was waiting for militarization, to be the real deal. It never occurred to me they’d end it, altogether end it. Why’d they bother even training us?” Liddy’s voice vibrated with the laughter.

“She’s lost it,” said Teresa.

“We’ve all lost it,” said Jenna.

It was December 19 thand New Castle had offered up a full dress review to honor the WASPs. Other bases hadn’t been so gracious. Some even locked the women out as soon as they heard the program would be disbanded. New Castle had sent the women up till the last hour and was sad to see them go. The WASPs who hadn’t already left, including Jenna and Liddy, were preparing to leave. “What are you going to do?” Jenna asked Liddy as they sat in the officer’s club.

“Well, it doesn’t seem I’m going to have what I wanted, so I think I’ll try to want what I can have.”

“And what’s that?” Jenna asked.

“I’m not exactly sure, so I’m gonna spend some time figuring that out.” Liddy finished her last entry in her flight log and flipped it closed. “I’ve got me a cushy little instructing job all lined up back home, for now. What about you?”

“I don’t know yet. I wish Ellis…. When he gets back home, maybe I’ll have a baby. See how long I can tilt a rudder with one in the oven.” Jenna pressed her face in between her palms. “Liddy, I’m so disappointed I can hardly breathe.” Tears rolled down Jenna’s cheeks.

Teresa Hinton walked into the room. “Hey, ladies, there’s a couple of hush-hush planes that need to be picked up from the factory and delivered for shipment overseas by 2200 hours. Everyone’s gone or ready to go home and they can’t find anyone who’ll take them.”

“Good, they can go to Hell,” said Jenna.

“I’ll do it.” Liddy pushed her chair back and stood up.

Jenna looked at her, surprised. “Really? Why?”

“Our boys need those planes, Jenna. This is still our country, isn’t it?”

Jenna dried her face and then she set her palms flat on the table and stood up to face Liddy. “Okay, Liddy. Me too, I’ll go with you.”

The WASP quarters had already been filled with new male cadets and male civilian pilots who would be trained to take the place of the fly girls, so Liddy and Jenna had to store their luggage in the office.

Once geared up, they checked out and were dropped at the factory. As they were escorted into the hangar, they were handed manuals that were both typed and handwritten for the ships they would be flying.

Circling the planes, their eyes widened at the sight of the phantom aircraft. Smaller than anything they had ever flown, the ships only resembled what they knew to be a plane. The way the engines were mounted, or rather molded into the metal, made them look like they were growing out from beneath the wings. The sides of the cockpit were low and the rudders, or what looked like they might be rudders, could be seen through the canopy. The skin had the look of crushed coal and if the body had a seam, you couldn’t see it.

Jenna and Liddy read the manuals as they suited up for the flight. Reading plane manuals like they were recipe books was a familiar practice, but this plane was a different animal and the pressure to lift-off was unnerving.

“What’s the landing speed?” Jenna asked as she zipped her jacket.

“I don’t know,” Liddy said. She flipped and scanned the pages. “Did you find the check list?”

“Page twelve. Let’s run it together.”

The women watched as the canopy didn’t track back, but lifted like it was going to float away. A crew of engineers and military personnel watched as the pilots climbed ladders and lowered themselves into the cockpit. The men winced with each move the women made as if the plane was made of fine crystal and they were waiting for it to crack. Liddy and Jenna would never know for certain, but they had a feeling none of this was because they were female pilots.

Ferrying was never done at night, and this trip would be flown across the country in complete darkness. Both women had an eerie sense that choosing a WASP, instead of a male pilot for this assignment, was a calculated decision. Were the ships unstable? The Army had come to rely on the WASP pilots to willingly take up anything they were assigned. This was sometimes to convince male pilots a plane was safe, and too, they didn’t want to waste their cream.