Wu Ming - 54

‘Well, maybe,’ Bottone comments under his breath. ‘A fine communist strategy, Walterún; the problem is that we need money for the aerial and the subscription, and the whole thing’ll come to 30,000.’

‘You know what I say? Bollocks to a collection: true communism means squeezing the money out of the boss. Let Benassi pay for this television. Isn’t he the one that cleans up, after all?’

‘“Has the fourth H-bomb been exploded in Bikini?” Gaggia, this one’ll interest you: “Piero Piccioni and Montagna shortly to be interrogated by Sepe. Today in Geneva, conference on Indochina.”’

As soon as Capponi moves away, the group splits up. Some rage against private property, some want to organise a lottery, some announce that they’re refusing to drink any more bitters until Benassi chickens out, and some suggest asking Gas if he’s got his hands on any televisions.

‘What?’ Garibaldi explodes, ‘No, no, no, no! If you want to let him swindle you, you can forget about any money from me.’

‘Come on, Garibaldi, do you honestly think he’s going to do us all over? Don’t we know where he lives?’

‘It’s a matter of principle, I —’

Pierre brushes past Bottone’s back holding a tray, face like grim death.

‘Bloody hell, look at Pierre, what a mug!’

As Pierre heads for the other room, Bortolotti leaves his game of billiards and joins our table.

‘Have you seen the state of Pierre? I heard that things didn’t go as well as they usually do at the “Seventh Heaven”.’

‘Ah, that’s it, you see in Yugoslavia he forgot how to do the twirl. But it’s not serious, call him, go on, and we’ll try and cheer him up.’

‘Never mind, Walterún, I’m afraid today is St Grudge’s Day, there’s nothing we can do.’

‘You’re right, Bortolotti, at this point it’s better to let the two of them stew in their own juice, and turn our attention to this business about the television, because the World Cup’s getting closer, and Italy isn’t going to be much cop, but they did beat the French 3–1, and Cappello’s playing, one of ours, from Bologna FC, like back in Schiavio’s days. In short, it’s worth the trouble, just so that those two grumpy brothers can be dragged into a state approaching euphoria.’

Or at least let’s hope so.

Chapter 8

Near Afragola, 8 May

‘Oh, I did bust my balls, though. These people from Naples, from the Deep South, they’re always yelling their heads off, why do they always have to shout so much? And the children? Let’s not even talk about them, they’re animals, fuck ’em all, I’d shove their teeth down their throats, think about that , their teeth down their throats! And the streets are in one hell of a state, full of holes. And I’ve got piles! One of them’s the size of a doughnut, absolutely bloody enormous, you know the way I’ve always got cream with me? Look how greasy it is, and just smell the stink of it!’

‘Palmo, if you stick your fingers under my nose while I’m driving one more time, I’m sending you back to your parents in Portomaggiore, and believe me, I’ll kick you all the way there. If I find out that you touched that doughnut of yours before shoving your fingers under my nose, I’m going to pull the fucking thing off!’

‘You’d almost be doing me a favour. At least I’d bleed to death and there’s an end to it! Every month, up and down, up and down, and when we find a room then that’s fine, but when you have to sleep in the truck, it really hurts the back! I’m thirty-three, and if I’m not careful I’ll be ready for the scrapheap before I make it to thirty-four. But can’t we tell Bianco to change our route? We’ve been going back and forth to Naples for months now, it’s a long way, and there’s always the risk that the cops or the customs will sniff out the fact that the boxes have double bottoms, that there’s half a metre between the wall and the cabin. Why can’t we go to France instead? I’d be more than happy to swap with Spanézz!’

‘Palmo, I haven’t got the papers you need to go abroad, I’ve got charges pending. That route would be even riskier. Spanézz doesn’t have any charges pending.’

‘How come? Doesn’t he carry the same stuff as us, watches, cigarettes, lighters.?’

‘Palmo, you really don’t understand a thing, do you? “Charges pending” is when you have a trial coming up but they haven’t passed sentence. I’ve still got two or three little things that the judge isn’t willing to forget about, and there’s no way out, at least until Martelloni, my lawyer, resolves the situation.’

‘And have I got any charges pending?’

‘No, what have you got to do with anything? You’ve never even been a partisan! And don’t worry about this smuggling until Bianco greases the right wheels.’

‘Fine, and how come Spanézz doesn’t have any problems? He was a partisan too, wasn’t he?’

‘What’s with all the questions? When I drive you’re always quiet as a mouse, nearly sends me to sleep, but today you’re like a public prosecutor!’

‘Come on, Ettore, I know you’re tired of going to the South all the time. Why don’t we ask Bianco to change our route, where’s the problem?’

‘The problem is that I have to take care of business in Naples, ok? The others are getting impatient, and the ones down there aren’t easy ; if they get impatient they’re quite capable of getting the knives out, and bang, you’re finished, kaput, pushing up the daisies! And Spanézz was in a socialist brigade, he might have fired the odd shot. I was with Comandante Lupo, in the real war, you see? If you want to go with Spanézz, just do it, what’s holding you back?’

‘Spanézz is a ball-breaker, he’s a terrible fusspot, he corrects me the moment I open my mouth, he starts laughing even if I’ve said something serious, then he says, “You really are from Ferrara, aren’t you!” One of these days I’m going to knock his brains out.’

‘That’s enough, now. Spanézz goes his way, we go ours.’

‘You’re right, fuck him! But how did we get on to Spanézz?’

‘You were the one who brought it up, you were complaining that you didn’t care much for southerners.’

‘So do you like them?’

‘There are some serious ones. The American, Trimane, he’s serious.’

‘He gives me the creeps. Yeah, he’s serious all right, serious as death. And the other one, the one he mentions from time to time, as though to say, “If you don’t fall into line I’m going to fetch him in”?’

‘“Cement” they call him. I’ve never seen him. He may not even exist, he’s like the bogeyman.’

‘So tell me, what are we taking on today?’

‘Pharmaceuticals, painkillers, I don’t know how many boxes. Ten or twelve of Wilkinson razors. Lighters. French cigarettes. That guy from Frosinone says there’s also one of those modern things, a television.’

‘No idea what they are, they say it’s like a cinema, but it’s small and fits in your house. Any idea who you’ll sell it to?’

‘We aren’t going to sell it, we’re not even taking it to Bologna; we’re dropping it off with someone near Rome, who’ll pay us for our trouble.’

‘Pay us: does that mean the money’s ours, or do we have to give it to Bianco?’

‘No, it’s ours. Fifteen thousand, he’s giving us. We’ll go fifty — fifty, even if you have been getting right up my nose today.’

‘It must be a stolen television.’

‘Nothing to do with us.’

‘Ok.’

‘Ok.’

‘So what are these charges pending?’

‘Just you go and cream your doughnut.’

Chapter 9

Naples, 9 May