Elbert Hubbard - The Roycroft Dictionary, Concocted by Ali Baba and the Bunch on Rainy Days.

Discord: A guinea-hen, a peacock and a bluejay singing a trio.

Disadvantage: Having too many advantages in life.

Devil: A god who has been bounced for conduct unbecoming a gentleman.

Doctor: 1. A person who has taken seriously the biblical injunction, "Physician, heel thyself!" 2. In Germany, a swashbuckler person with many scars, much admired by small boys and unhappily married ladies, and feared by shopkeepers.

Disinterested: 1. Whatever is inconceivable. 2. A hypothetical ether that surrounds all forms of selfishness and naturalness. 3. That psychological interval when we look the other way before making a grab. 4. A monkey's mental attitude toward the hen.

Dishonorable: 1. To avoid infamy and almost attain respectability. 2. The first feeling we entertain toward each new acquaintance. 3. Any action whatsoever committed by a competitor.

Duty: A pleasure which we try to make ourselves believe is a hardship.

Divorce: 1. A legal separation of two persons of the opposite sex who desire to respect and honor each other. 2. A marital derail.

Divorcee: 1. A female fugitive from injustice. 2. Any lady who is a Post-Graduate in Love's Correspondence-School.

Discontent: 1. Inertia on a strike. 2. The mainspring of progress. 3. The starting-point in every man's career.

Disinherit: 1. The prankish action of the ghosts in cutting the pockets out of trousers. 2. To leave great sums of money to lawyers. 3. A method of insuring postmortem notoriety – and disappointment.

Doubter: 1. One who picks his teeth, blows his nose on his napkin, and yawns at the Lord's table. 2. A good-for-nothing who does not knock before entering the bathroom of the Faithful.

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