William Maugham - Cæsar's Wife - A Comedy in Three Acts

Fanny, it looks to me as though we'd bitten off as big a piece of cake as we can chew with any comfort.

Oh, well, we'll do our best. And though I never could do arithmetic I've always thought perhaps one might be saved without. Good-bye, Lady Little, and thank you for having us.

Good-bye.

[ There are general farewells and they go to the door. Ronny opens it for them. They go out. ]

I forgot to tell you, sir, Mrs. Pritchard has just telephoned to ask if she can see you on a matter of business.

[ With a grim smile. ] Say I'm very busy to-day, and I regret exceedingly that it will be quite impossible for me to see her.

[ With a twinkle in his eye. ] She said she was coming round at once.

If she's made up her mind to see me at all costs she might have saved herself the trouble of ringing up to find out if it was convenient.

Your sister is a determined creature, Arthur.

I know. I have some authority in the affairs of this country, but none over dear Christina. I wonder what she wants.

Let us hope for the best.

I've noticed that whenever anyone wants to see me very urgently it's never to give me anything. When Christina wants to see me urgently my only safety is in instant flight.

You must be nice to her, Arthur. If you're not she'll only take it out of me.

It's monstrous, isn't it?

After all, she kept house for you for ten years. Admirably, mind you.

Admirably. She has a genius for order and organisation in the house. Everything went like clockwork. She never wasted a farthing. She saved me hundreds of pounds. She led me a dog's life. I've come to the conclusion there's nothing so detestable as a good housekeeper.

How fortunate you married me, then! But you can't expect her to see that point of view. It's very hard for her to be turned out of this very pleasant billet, and it's natural that when you won't do something she asks you she should put it down to my influence.

It must have been a very difficult position for you.

I did all I could to make her like me. I did feel rather like a usurper, you know. I tried to make her see that I didn't at all want to put on airs.

Fortunately she's taken it very well. I confess I was a little nervous when she told me she meant to stay on in Egypt to be near her son.

It would be a detestable person who didn't like Violet, I think.

Detestable. I should have no hesitation in having him deported.

I think I'd better be getting back to my work.

Oh, Ronny, would you like me to come and help you with your packing?

[ To Ronny.] Are you going somewhere?

I'm leaving Cairo.

Didn't you know? Ronny has just been appointed to Paris.

Is he going to leave Egypt for good?

[ She is taken aback by the news. She clenches her hand on the rail of a chair; Arthur and Anne notice the little, instinctive motion. ]

I suppose so.

But why was it kept from me? Why have you been making a secret of it?

Darling, no one's been making a secret of it. I – I thought Anne would have told you.

Oh, it doesn't matter at all, but Ronny has been in the habit of doing all sorts of things for me. It would have been convenient if I'd been told that a change was going to be made.

I'm very sorry. It was only arranged this morning. I received a telegram from the Foreign Office. I thought it would interest Anne, so I sent Ronny along to tell her.

I hate to be treated like a child.

[ There is a moment's embarrassment. ]

It was stupid of me. I ought to have come and told you. I was so pleased and excited that I forgot.

I don't quite know why you should have been so excited.

It will be very nice for me to have Ronny so near. You see, now I've given up my flat I shan't come to Egypt very often and I should never have seen Ronny. I can run over to Paris constantly. Besides, it's a step, isn't it? And I want to see him an Ambassador before I die.

I don't see what good it will do him in Paris to speak Arabic like a native.

Oh, well, that is the F.O. all over. The best Persian scholar in the Service has spent the last six years in Washington.

It's been a great surprise for me. I expected to remain in Egypt indefinitely.

[ Recovering herself. ] I expect you'll have a very good time in Paris. When do you go?

There's a boat the day after to-morrow. Sir Arthur thought I'd better take that.

[ Scarcely mistress of herself. ] As soon as that! [ Recovering, gaily. ] We shall miss you dreadfully. I can't imagine what I shall do without you. [ To Anne.] You can't think how useful he's been to me since I came here.

It's very kind of you to say so.

He's invaluable at functions and things like that. You see, he knows where everyone should sit at dinner. And at first he used to coach me with details about various people so that I shouldn't say the wrong thing.

If you had you'd have said it so charmingly that no one would have resented it.

I'm so afraid that the man who takes Ronny's place will refuse to write my invitations for me.

It's not exactly the duty of my secretaries.

No, but I do hate doing it myself. And Ronny was able to imitate my handwriting.

I'm sure he could never write as badly as you.

Oh, yes, he could. Couldn't you?

I managed to write quite enough like you for people not to notice the difference.

You know, there are thirty-two invitations to do now.

Why don't you send cards?

Oh, I think a letter is so much more polite. Somehow I don't feel old enough to ask people to dine with me in the third person.

I'll come and do them the moment Sir Arthur can let me go.

You'd better do them before Violet goes out.

That'll be very soon. The Khedive's mother has asked me to go and see her at half-past three. I'll get the list now, shall I? I don't think I'll wait for Christina. If she wants to see you on business I dare say she'd rather I wasn't there.

Very well.

[ To Ronny.] Will you come here when you're ready?