George MacDonald - Robert Falconer

‘Gin I had him doon, faith gin I wadna lat him lie! I’ll jist tell ye ae thing, gentlemen, that cam’ to my knowledge no a hunner year ago. An’ it’s a’ as true ‘s gospel, though I hae aye held my tongue aboot it till this verra nicht. Ay! ye’ll a’ hearken noo; but it’s no lauchin’, though there was sculduddery eneuch, nae doobt, afore it cam’ that len’th. And mony a het drap did the puir lassie greet, I can tell ye. Faith! it was no lauchin’ to her. She was a servan’ o’ oors, an’ a ticht bonnie lass she was. They ca’d her the weyver’s bonny Mary—that’s the name she gaed by. Weel, ye see—’

MacGregor was interrupted by a sound from the further end of the room. The stranger, whom most of them had by this time forgotten, had risen, and was approaching the table where they sat.

‘Guid guide us!’ interrupted several under their breaths, as all rose, ‘it’s Lord Sandy himsel’!’

‘I thank you, gentleman,’ he said, with a mixture of irony and contempt, ‘for the interest you take in my private history. I should have thought it had been as little to the taste as it is to the honour of some of you to listen to such a farrago of lies.’

‘Lees! my lord,’ said MacGregor, starting to his feet. Mr. Cocker looked dismayed, and Mr. Lammie sheepish—all of them dazed and dumbfoundered, except the old weaver, who, as his lordship turned to leave the room, added:

‘Lang lugs (ears) suld be made o’ leather, my lord, for fear they grow het wi’ what they hear.’

Lord Rothie turned in a rage. He too had been drinking.

‘Kick that toad into the street, or, by heaven! it’s the last drop any of you drink in this house!’ he cried.

‘The taed may tell the poddock (frog) what the rottan (rat) did i’ the taed’s hole, my lord,’ said MacGregor, whom independence, honesty, bile, and drink combined to render fearless.

Lord Sandy left the room without another word. His factor took his hat and followed him. The rest dropped into their seats in silence. Mr. Lammie was the first to speak.

‘There’s a pliskie!’ he said.

‘I cud jist say the word efter auld Simeon,’ said MacGregor.

‘I never thocht to be sae favoured! Eh! but I hae langed, and noo I hae spoken!’ with which words he sat down, contented.

When Mr. Cocker overtook his master, as MacGregor had not unfitly styled him, he only got a damning for his pains, and went home considerably crestfallen.

Lord Rothie returned to the landlady in her parlour.

‘What’s the maitter wi’ ye, my lord? What’s vexed ye?’ asked Miss Napier, with a twinkle in her eyes, for she thought, from the baron’s mortification, he must have received some rebuff, and now that the bonnie leddy was safe at Captain Forsyth’s, enjoyed the idea of it.

‘Ye keep an ill-tongued hoose, Miss Naper,’ answered his lordship.

Miss Napier guessed at the truth at once—that he had overheard some free remarks on his well-known licence of behaviour.

‘Weel, my lord, I do my best. A body canna keep an inn and speir the carritchis (catechism) at the door o’ ‘t. But I believe ye’re i’ the richt, my lord, for I heard an awfu’ aff-gang o’ sweirin’ i’ the yard, jist afore yer lordship cam’ in. An’ noo’ ‘at I think o’ ‘t, it wasna that onlike yer lordship’s ain word.’

Lord Sandy broke into a loud laugh. He could enjoy a joke against himself when it came from a woman, and was founded on such a trifle as a personal vice.

‘I think I’ll go to bed,’ he said when his laugh was over. ‘I believe it’s the only safe place from your tongue, Miss Naper.’

‘Letty,’ cried Miss Napier, ‘fess a can’le, and show his lordship to the reid room.’

Till Miss Letty appeared, the baron sat and stretched himself. He then rose and followed her into the archway, and up an outside stair to a door which opened immediately upon a handsome old-fashioned room, where a blazing fire lighted up the red hangings. Miss Letty set down the candle, and bidding his lordship good night, turned and left the room, shutting the door, and locking it behind her—a proceeding of which his lordship took no notice, for, however especially suitable it might be in his case, it was only, from whatever ancient source derived, the custom of the house in regard to this particular room and a corresponding chamber on the opposite side of the archway.

Meantime the consternation amongst the members of the club was not so great as not to be talked over, or to prevent the call for more whisky and hot water. All but MacGregor, however, regretted what had occurred. He was so elevated with his victory and a sense of courage and prowess, that he became more and more facetious and overbearing.

‘It’s all very well for you, Mr. MacGregor,’ said the dominie, with dignity: ‘you have nothing to lose.’

‘Troth! he canna brak the bank—eh, Mr. Tamson?’

‘He may give me a hint to make you withdraw your money, though, Mr. MacGregor.’

‘De’il care gin I do!’ returned the weaver. ‘I can mak’ better o’ ‘t ony day.’

‘But there’s yer hoose an’ kailyard,’ suggested Peddie.

‘They’re ma ain!—a’ ma ain! He canna lay ‘s finger on onything o’ mine but my servan’ lass,’ cried the weaver, slapping his thigh-bone—for there was little else to slap.

Meg, at the moment, was taking her exit-glance. She went straight to Miss Napier.

‘Willie MacGregor’s had eneuch, mem, an’ a drappy ower.’

‘Sen’ Caumill doon to Mrs. MacGregor to say wi’ my compliments that she wad do weel to sen’ for him,’ was the response.

Meantime he grew more than troublesome. Ever on the outlook, when sober, after the foibles of others, he laid himself open to endless ridicule when in drink, which, to tell the truth, was a rare occurrence. He was in the midst of a prophetic denunciation of the vices of the nobility, and especially of Lord Rothie, when Meg, entering the room, went quietly behind his chair and whispered:

‘Maister MacGregor, there’s a lassie come for ye.’

‘I’m nae in,’ he answered, magnificently.

‘But it’s the mistress ‘at’s sent for ye. Somebody’s wantin’ ye.’

‘Somebody maun want me, than.—As I was sayin’, Mr. Cheerman and gentlemen—’

‘Mistress MacGregor ‘ll be efter ye hersel’, gin ye dinna gang,’ said Meg.

‘Let her come. Duv ye think I’m fleyt at her? De’il a step ‘ll I gang till I please. Tell her that, Meg.’

Meg left the room, with a broad grin on her good-humoured face.

‘What’s the bitch lauchin’ at?’ exclaimed MacGregor, starting to his feet.

The whole company rose likewise, using their endeavour to persuade him to go home.

‘Duv ye think I’m drunk, sirs? I’ll lat ye ken I’m no drunk. I hae a wull o’ mine ain yet. Am I to gang hame wi’ a lassie to haud me oot o’ the gutters? Gin ye daur to alloo that I’m drunk, ye ken hoo ye’ll fare, for de’il a fit ‘ll I gang oot o’ this till I hae anither tum’ler.’

‘I’m thinkin’ there’s mair o’ ‘s jist want ane mair,’ said Peddie.

A confirmatory murmur arose as each looked into the bottom of his tumbler, and the bell was instantly rung. But it only brought Meg back with the message that it was time for them all to go home. Every eye turned upon MacGregor reproachfully.

‘Ye needna luik at me that gait, sirs. I’m no fou,’ said he.

‘’Deed no. Naebody taks ye to be,’ answered the chairman. ‘Meggie, there’s naebody’s had ower muckle yet, and twa or three o’ ‘s hasna had freely eneuch. Jist gang an’ fess a mutchkin mair. An’ there’ll be a shillin’ to yersel’, lass.’

Meg retired, but straightway returned.