George MacDonald - Robert Falconer

‘It seems to me, Mr. Innes,’ said MacGregor, ‘that ye hae hit the nail, but no upo’ the heid. What mak’ ye o’ the phrase, no confined to the Scots tongue, I believe, o’ an eaves-drapper? The whilk, no doobt, represents a body that hings aboot yer winnock, like a drap hangin’ ower abune it frae the eaves—therefore called an eaves drapper. But the sort of whilk we noo speak, are a waur sort a’thegither; for they come to the inside o’ yer hoose, o’ yer verra chaumer, an’ hing oot their lang lugs to hear what ye carena to be hard save by a dooce frien’ or twa ower a het tum’ler.’

At the same moment the door opened, and a man entered, who was received with unusual welcome.

‘Bless my sowl!’ said the president, rising; ‘it’s Mr. Lammie!—Come awa’, Mr. Lammie. Sit doon; sit doon. Whaur hae ye been this mony a day, like a pelican o’ the wilderness?’

Mr. Lammie was a large, mild man, with florid cheeks, no whiskers, and a prominent black eye. He was characterized by a certain simple alacrity, a gentle, but outspeaking readiness, which made him a favourite.

‘I dinna richtly mak’ oot wha ye are,’ he answered. ‘Ye hae unco little licht here! Hoo are ye a’, gentlemen? I s’ discover ye by degrees, and pay my respecks accordin’.’

And he drew a chair to the table.

‘’Deed I wuss ye wad,’ returned MacGregor, in a voice pretentiously hushed, but none the less audible. ‘There’s a drap in yon en’ o’ the hoose, Mr. Lammie.’

‘Hoot! never min’ the man,’ said Lammie, looking round in the direction indicated. ‘I s’ warran’ he cares as little aboot hiz as we care aboot him. There’s nae treason noo a-days. I carena wha hears what I say.’

‘For my pairt,’ said Mr. Peddie, ‘I canna help wonnerin’ gin it cud be oor auld frien’ Mr. Faukener.’

‘Speyk o’ the de’il—’ said Mr. Lammie.

‘Hoot! na,’ returned Peddie, interrupting. ‘He wasna a’thegither the de’il.’

‘Haud the tongue o’ ye,’ retorted Lammie. ‘Dinna ye ken a proverb whan ye hear ‘t? De’il hae ye! ye’re as sharpset as a missionar’. I was only gaun to say that I’m doobtin’ Andrew’s deid.’

‘Ay! ay!’ commenced a chorus of questioning.

‘Mhm!’

‘Aaay!’

‘What gars ye think that?’

‘And sae he’s deid!’

‘He was a great favourite, Anerew!’

‘Whaur dee’d he?’

‘Aye some upsettin’ though!’

‘Ay. He was aye to be somebody wi’ his tale.’

‘A gude-hertit crater, but ye cudna lippen till him.’

‘Speyk nae ill o’ the deid. Maybe they’ll hear ye, and turn roon’ i’ their coffins, and that’ll whumle you i’ your beds,’ said MacGregor, with a twinkle in his eye.

‘Ring the bell for anither tum’ler, Sampson,’ said the chairman.

‘What’ll be dune wi’ that factory place, noo? It’ll be i’ the market?’

‘It’s been i’ the market for mony a year. But it’s no his ava. It belangs to the auld leddy, his mither,’ said the weaver.

‘Why don’t you buy it, Mr. MacGregor, and set up a cotton mill? There’s not much doing with the linen now,’ said Mr. Cocker.

‘Me!’ returned MacGregor, with indignation. ‘The Lord forgie ye for mintin’ (hinting) at sic a thing, Mr. Cocker! Me tak’ to coaton! I wad as sune spin the hair frae Sawtan’s hurdies. Short fushionless dirt, that canna grow straucht oot o’ the halesome yird, like the bonnie lint-bells, but maun stick itsel’ upo’ a buss!—set it up! Coorse vulgar stuff, ‘at naebody wad weir but loup-coonter lads that wad fain luik like gentlemen by means o’ the collars and ruffles—an’ a’ comin’ frae the auld loom! They may weel affoord se’enteen hunner linen to set it aff wi’ ‘at has naething but coaton inside the breeks o’ them.’

‘But Dr. Wagstaff says it’s healthier,’ interposed Peddie.

‘I’ll wag a staff till him. De’il a bit o’ ‘t ‘s healthier! an’ that he kens. It’s nae sae healthy, an’ sae it mak’s him mair wark wi’ ‘s poothers an’ his drauchts, an’ ither stinkin’ stuff. Healthier! What neist?’

‘Somebody tellt me,’ said the bookseller, inwardly conscious of offence, ‘’at hoo Lord Sandy himsel’ weirs cotton.’

‘Ow ‘deed, maybe. And he sets mony a worthy example furbye. Hoo mony, can ye tell me, Mr. Peddie, has he pulled doon frae honest, if no frae high estate, and sent oot to seek their livin’ as he taucht them? Hoo mony—?’

‘Hoot, hoot! Mr. MacGregor, his lordship hasn’t a cotton shirt in his possession, I’ll be bound,’ said Mr. Cocker. ‘And, besides, you have not to wash his dirty linen—or cotton either.’

‘That’s as muckle as to say, accordin’ to Cocker, that I’m no to speik a word against him. But I’ll say what I like. He’s no my maister,’ said MacGregor, who could drink very little without suffering in his temper and manners; and who, besides, had a certain shrewd suspicion as to the person who still sat in the dark end of the room, possibly because the entrance of Mr. Lammie had interrupted the exorcism.

The chairman interposed with soothing words; and the whole company, Cocker included, did its best to pacify the manufacturer; for they all knew what would be the penalty if they failed.

A good deal of talk followed, and a good deal of whisky was drunk. They were waited upon by Meg, who, without their being aware of it, cast a keen parting glance at them every time she left the room. At length the conversation had turned again to Andrew Falconer’s death.

‘Whaur said ye he dee’d, Mr. Lammie?’

‘I never said he was deid. I said I was feared ‘at he was deid.’

‘An’ what gars ye say that? It micht be o’ consequence to hae ‘t correck,’ said the solicitor.

‘I had a letter frae my auld frien’ and his, Dr. Anderson. Ye min’ upo’ him, Mr. Innes, dunna ye? He’s heid o’ the medical boord at Calcutta noo. He says naething but that he doobts he’s gane. He gaed up the country, and he hasna hard o’ him for sae lang. We hae keepit up a correspondence for mony a year noo, Dr. Anderson an’ me. He was a relation o’ Anerew’s, ye ken—a second cousin, or something. He’ll be hame or lang, I’m thinkin’, wi’ a fine pension.’

‘He winna weir a cotton sark, I’ll be boon’,’ said MacGregor.

‘What’s the auld leddy gaein’ to du wi’ that lang-leggit oye (grandson) o’ hers, Anerew’s son?’ asked Sampson.

‘Ow! he’ll be gaein’ to the college, I’m thinkin’. He’s a fine lad, and a clever, they tell me,’ said Mr. Thomson.

‘Indeed, he’s all that, and more too,’ said the school-master.

‘There’s naething ‘ull du but the college noo!’ said MacGregor, whom nobody heeded, for fear of again rousing his anger.

‘Hoo ‘ill she manage that, honest woman? She maun hae but little to spare frae the cleedin’ o’ ‘m.’

‘She’s a gude manager, Mistress Faukner. And, ye see, she has the bleachgreen yet.’

‘She doesna weir cotton sarks,’ growled MacGregor. ‘Mony’s the wob o’ mine she’s bleached and boucht tu!’

Nobody heeding him yet, he began to feel insulted, and broke in upon the conversation with intent.

‘Ye haena telt ‘s yet, Cocker,’ he said, ‘what that maister o’ yours is duin’ here at this time o’ the year. I wad ken that, gin ye please.’

‘How should I know, Mr. MacGregor?’ returned the factor, taking no notice of the offensive manner in which the question was put.

‘He’s no a hair better nor ane o’ thae Algerine pirates ‘at Lord Exmooth’s het the hips o’—and that’s my opingon.’

‘He’s nae amo’ your feet, MacGregor,’ said the banker. ‘Ye micht jist lat him lie.’