Rona Jaffe - Mazes and Monsters

“I haven’t told you much about Robbie,” Kate said.

“Tell me.”

“Well, he’s really a very sweet person. I don’t think he could ever do anything to hurt anybody. He’s gentle and considerate … kind of quiet … very sensitive. He loves me a lot. And he’s so good-looking you can’t believe it.”

“He sounds too good to be true,” her mother said. “How old is he?”

“Same as I am.”

“Maybe I should go out with eighteen-year-olds.”

“You could. Some of them like older women. Dad never had any trouble going out with young girls.”

“Some of them like older men,” her mother said gently. She peered at herself in the mirror. “I don’t look too bad with this stuff on.”

“You look terrific! And Mom … have a little haircut. Just get that old permanent trimmed off. Your hair will look a lot shinier.”

Her mother laughed. “Okay, okay. When you come back from your father’s you can give me a report about the best ex -bachelor in California, and I’ll tell you about my adventure.”

“How come that guy you’re going to go out with is still a bachelor?” Kate asked suspiciously.

“He’s divorced.”

“Well, just be careful.”

“Yes, dear.”

She left her mother still laughing and went to her room to pack. What was so funny about a little daughterly concern? Her mother had led a pretty sheltered life.

Her father’s house was in commuting distance of her mother’s, but it seemed to be in a different world. He had two acres of land, trees, a hot tub, a Jacuzzi, and privacy. On the upper floor he had a sun deck where in summer you could sunbathe nude. He greeted her in his running clothes, his hair damp with fashionable sweat, his tanned skin as brown as a coconut. She was sure he used a sunlamp in the winter.

“Kate! You brought the sun!” He hugged her. He did not smell of fashionable sweat; he smelled of men’s cologne. “Norine! Kate’s here!”

“You look good, Dad,” Kate said.

“I’m up to five miles a day,” he said proudly. “Every day, even in the rain.” He patted his stomach. “Coming down. Fifty sit-ups every morning.”

“Wow.”

Chlorine came walking languidly out of the house, wearing a string bikini and a cowboy hat. Her long, sun-streaked blond hair hung down to her large breasts, a thick hank of hair on each side as if she had carefully separated it in the middle. She had a pretty, starlet kind of face, black-dyed eyelashes, and the body of a Playboy centerfold. She gave Kate a sisterly sort of hug. Kate preferred not to think of it as a stepmotherly hug.

“Hurry up and put your bathing suit on,” Chlorine said.

The guest room was cool and dim, the shutters closed against the sun. There was the splash of bright flowered cotton fabric against white wicker, and a blooming poinsettia plant on the dresser. A pile of the new magazines lay neatly on the night table next to the bed. There was a poinsettia plant in the bathroom too, and a brand-new cake of expensive-looking soap. The room was immaculate; so had the house seemed as Kate walked through it. He’s found someone else to take care of him, she thought; just like the one he traded in, only younger.

She put on her bikini and went outside, where they were waiting. They sat in the hot tub and drank iced tea with fresh mint in it. They sat in the Jacuzzi and drank cold white wine. Her father asked her about college and Kate told him what he wanted to hear: that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. She did not mention the game, although she knew he would have found it fascinating. He always wanted to do whatever he thought young people were doing. But for her it was not just a game, it was an emotional thing about all the most private fears and fantasies of her life, and she couldn’t share it, even with her parents. Besides, he wouldn’t understand and he would think it was crazy. Chlorine read L’Officiel, quietly letting father and daughter have their little talk.

After a while they had lunch under a tree: chicken salad with walnuts in it, the way Kate’s mother used to make it. It was Kate’s favorite salad, but she could only swallow a few bites. She thought she would throw up. He’s even got the same recipes, she thought.

“I thought you ate chicken,” her father said.

“I do. Just that I’m full … all that tea and stuff.”

“We don’t eat meat anymore either,” her father said.

Kate helped Chlorine take the dishes back to the kitchen. Her father, as’ in the olden days, didn’t move a muscle to help. He’s found himself another love slave, Kate thought in wonder. How does he do it?

“Still thinking of getting a job, Norine?” Kate asked by way of conversation.

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe later.”

“Don’t you get bored just cleaning and cooking?”

Chlorine shrugged. “I go to the gym every day. I have to take care of my wardrobe. I get my manicure and pedicure and bikini wax. It takes me a whole day just to wash my hair. I do my gardening — those plants all over the house, I grow them myself. I’m busy all the time.”

After lunch Chlorine went to her room to take a nap, leaving Kate and her father alone together.

“Want to take a run?” he asked eagerly.

“I’m kind of tired.”

“Okay. We’ll just sit here and talk.” He opened another bottle of cold white wine. “You’re not too full for a little more wine, are you?”

She shook her head. Might as well get smashed. She wished she had a joint. He probably had one, but she didn’t want to ask him.

They sipped their wine in silence. “Kate,” he said finally, “I want to tell you why men get divorced.”

She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, after wondering all this time, because she was afraid of what he might say. Whatever he said would be about him and her mother, and there were places in their lives where she did not want to walk.

“A man and a girl are dating,” he went on, “and she’s very seductive, very unattainable. She’s sexy. He falls in love with that girl. Then they get married, they have children, and suddenly she’s living the marriage script her parents taught her. She thinks a home has to be a safe, boring place where the children can grow up. She wants it to be boring. She’s not sexy anymore. She can’t help it; it’s the way she was brought up. The home has to be a haven for the children. The man wants more. He leaves.”

“Chlorine is boring!” Kate burst out.

“Norine? What makes you think she’s boring?”

“She’s a dumb cow,” Kate said. “You think she’s sexy because she has big tits and she’s young.”

“No,” he said. “I think she’s sexy because she thinks I’m sexy.”

Kate felt embarrassed. She didn’t want to know about her father’s sex life. She wondered if part of what he said was right. At least he thought it was right, and he knew his side of it.

“I just hope you two don’t have any kids,” she said. “I’d hate to see them spoil your lives.”

“Kate … it wasn’t you and Belinda. Don’t you understand? It was the way women of a certain generation were brought up.”

“It’s your generation too. You were just afraid to get middle-aged.”

“I thought you were sophisticated enough to understand,” he said.

“I’m trying.”

“It’s going to be different this time, with Norine and me.” He smiled. “She’s pregnant. You see, I don’t have anything against a family.”

“You two are going to have a baby? ”

“In June. A little Gemini.”

Her hand was shaking as she filled her glass with wine. She drank it down. “Well,” she said, trying to sound pleasant because he looked so proud and pleased. “I guess I’ll have a little sister or brother.”