Rona Jaffe - Mazes and Monsters

“Poor Jay Jay.”

“Good,” Jay Jay said, and filled Merlin’s little bowl.

He was so sad. No one had time for him anymore. Kate was always off somewhere with Robbie, and Daniel had his merry sex life. Only poor Jay Jay, doomed to be a mascot, a child …

And he was so bored. He put on his old record of Steely Dan doing “Deacon Blues,” a song he played more and more often lately. Drink Scotch whiskey all night long, and die behind the wheel. … He could get on his motorbike and ram it into a wall. No, that was too ordinary. If he died, he wanted attention, he wanted to become a legend. Then they would all be sorry they had neglected him. He would be remembered forever, like those two students who had disappeared into the caverns long before he was born. If they had lived, they probably wouldn’t be anything at all.

He wasn’t really certain he wanted to kill himself; maybe he just wanted to play a trick and scare his friends. Still, the thought of doing away with himself gave him a little shiver of anticipation. Nobody had ever committed suicide at Grant.

He wrote a note to Kate. Please feed Merlin every day, and remember me. He put on his down coat and leather aviator’s helmet, took his flashlight, looked sadly at Merlin for what might be the last time, and went down the hall. He slipped the key to his room and the note under Kate’s door, and went out into the cold.

He knew where the forbidden caverns were; he had ridden past them the first week he arrived at school, just to see. The snow the night before had been light and the ground was frosty, but still he left tire tracks. Good … it wouldn’t do for them to be unable to find him. The caverns looked the same as they had before. The same green sign with its warning, the same chain across the entrance. The hills looked rocky and dismal under their light dusting of snow, and the afternoon sky was the color of iron. He shivered with the cold and anticipation. Parking his motorbike in the shelter of some rocks, Jay Jay slipped under the chain and entered the caverns.

He swung his flashlight around to see what was there. He was in a smallish room, like a kind of entrance hall, and on either side there were tunnels high enough to walk in, leading off into the depths. He surmised the underground chambers were laid out somewhat like the branches of a tree … or a maze. His eyes widened with wonder. This was a maze — it was just like the game! The walls were made of some kind of damp stone, and far away, softly, there was the sound of dripping water. Great pale stalactites and stalagmites gave the caverns an eerie look, showing how ancient this place was. It was almost beautiful.

Carefully, slowly, Jay Jay stepped forward, moving the beam of his light. His quick mind memorized where he had been. There, in the right-hand chamber, was a large black pool, with water dripping into it from the vault above. Oh, it was so wonderful, so glorious, so Tolkien! Gollum could live there in that cold, black, bottomless pool. Jay Jay could almost see him now, rising, hissing, turning his serpentine head this way and that in search of the delicate little morsel in the down coat. Suddenly the most exciting plan he had ever had in his life began to form in Jay Jay’s mind.

These caverns were the game. If a clever Maze Controller, himself of course, were to chart them, and then use real props … A cloak, for instance, with a bottle in the pocket containing a potion that could be either magic giving all knowledge or poison … real lanterns, real swords, real costumes, and a real treasure … They could all chip in for the treasure. That would give them more of an incentive to find it. The little charms, amulets, statues, writing on the wall, hidden scrolls, he would purchase himself and hide all around. The monsters, of course, would have to be imaginary, but there would always be the real danger of getting lost, or slipping and getting hurt, or even drowning. He shivered, partly with fear, partly with delight. He was a genius!

The caverns weren’t so cold and terrible. They were actually rather cool and pleasant, and he imagined they retained the same temperature all year round. They would be perfect to play in on warm days, and not too bad if they began the new game in winter. Of course, he’d have to wait until they finished playing Daniel’s game. Daniel had worked so hard on it they couldn’t just abandon it, even though now it seemed very dull and colorless to Jay Jay compared to what he had just concocted. First, he would have to talk the others into his plan. He was sure he could do it. Nothing scared Kate, Robbie was a follower, and Daniel liked difficult problems to solve. After he had convinced them, Jay Jay planned to let his character get killed in Daniel’s game. That would make the game much less interesting for the others. It would be a kind of sacrificial suicide. He laughed aloud, very pleased with himself. The sound rang off the walls, echoing in a pleasantly diabolical way. How funny that he had come here planning to kill himself and had ended up with a greater desire to live than he’d ever had before.

He picked his way carefully out of the caverns into the mundane world. The early winter dusk had fallen. He got back on his motorbike and rode into town, where he bought some sandwiches and sodas, and a dozen boxes of Pepperidge Farm croutons to drop as bread crumbs so he wouldn’t get lost. He also bought extra batteries for his flashlight. Tomorrow, when the hardware store was open, he would buy a real lantern. This would do for now.

Back to the caverns, his own adventureland of endless possibility. Jay Jay hummed happily as he began to investigate the first three chambers, dropping his croutons, arranging little piles of stones to give himself added clues to direction. He was aware how dangerous these mazes were, and he had no intention of ending his life. He felt a little frightened, which pleased him, and also very elated. At nine o’clock, ravenously hungry, he sat down with his back against a large rock and ate his sandwiches and drank his sodas, which were still cool. White paint, he thought, would be good for a secret message, or perhaps even luminous silver paint if he could find it. He knew there wasn’t anything he couldn’t find if he wanted to. He would invent ancient runes — aha!

Feeling very tired and cozy after his supper and his athletic and intellectual efforts, he lay down, pulling the hood of his coat over his head to act as a sort of pillow. It wouldn’t do to go back to the dorm tonight, then nobody would worry about him. He would go back tomorrow. And meanwhile, somehow it seemed as if sleeping here gave him proprietorship, making the caverns his own. He slept, and dreamed of the game, dreamed that they all loved him. A whole tribe of Sprites was sitting on little stone mushrooms, all applauding for him. You are the cleverest of all, O Freelik the Frenetic of Glossamir ! they cried admiringly in their tiny voices. They were wearing silken robes in pale, iridescent colors, and every one of them looked just like him.

The next morning was cold and clear. Jay Jay rode back to the dorm in triumph, his motorbike a charger; feeling that he had indeed discovered a treasure. He was gratified to see that the others were very upset over his disappearance, particularly Kate.

“Where did you go?” she demanded. “I was scared to death.”

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” he said smugly.

“I fed Merlin and put the cover on his cage,” she said reproachfully. “That was a terrible note to leave. I didn’t know what you were going to do. If that was another one of your stupid jokes it wasn’t funny.”

“I’ll tell you tonight if you’re free,” he said.

“We’re playing the game tonight,” she said. “Aren’t we?”