Sloan Wilson - Man in the Gray Flannel Suit

“Thanks for the character reference,” he said.

“You’ve gotten to the point where you disrespect anybody who does what you can’t do,” she said. “You sneer at the United Broadcasting men, and everybody else. You think you’re something special because a hell of a long while ago you were a good paratrooper. And now all you want is security, and life insurance, and money in the bank to send the kids to college twelve or fifteen years from now, and you’re scared because for six months you’ll be on trial on a new job, and you always look at the dark side of everything, and you’ve got no guts! ”

Suddenly she broke into tears. “I love you, Tommy,” she said between sobs. “I just had to say it.”

For several minutes the room was quiet.

“You’re partly right,” he said suddenly.

“I exaggerated,” she said. “And, Tommy, you’ve got more guts than any man I ever saw. Do you know why I love you, Tommy? It’s a funny thing — it’s childish. It’s because I never saw a man I thought could get away with making you really angry.”

“Plenty have,” he said.

“It’s not just strength,” she said. “It’s something in you. When you really want something, I don’t think anything in the world can stand in your way. That’s why you were so damned good in the war.”

“It was luck,” he said. “Whether you get out of a war or not is ninety per cent luck.”

“Maybe,” she said, “but since you’ve gotten back, you haven’t really wanted much. You’ve worked hard, but at heart you’ve never been really trying.”

“We’ll have a go at this real-estate thing if you want,” he said. “I still doubt like hell that it will work. If we wind up broke, can you take it?”

“I can take it,” she said. “And you can too. I know what you’re thinking about.”

“My father.”

“I know. But it’s better to think of Barbara and Janey and Pete, and a new life. I haven’t been really trying, either. From now on I’m going to change.”

WHEN TOM AWOKE in the morning, Betsy was already dressed. Her hair was combed and she had put on lipstick.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“Six-thirty.”

“Good God,” he said. “Go away. I’ve another hour to sleep.”

“No you don’t ,” she said. “No more rushing for the train.”

‘What?’

“This is the new regime. We’re going to have a leisurely breakfast before you go to work.”

“Oh, God!” he said.

The three children came in and stood by the bed staring at him. Their hair was all combed, and they had on freshly ironed clothes. “Momma got us up early,” Janey said mournfully. “Are you going to get up too?”

“He certainly is!” Betsy said. “Tom, I’ve got a lot of important things I want to say to you. Get up this minute!”

There didn’t seem to be much chance of getting any more sleep, so Tom climbed out of bed, groped his way to the bathroom, and started to shave. When he went downstairs, he heard a coffeepot percolating. The coffee smelled good. In the kitchen he found the breakfast table fully set and waffles cooking. “What’s going on?” he asked Betsy.

“Breakfast,” she said. “No more instant coffee. No more grabbing a piece of toast to eat on the way to the station. We’re going to start living sanely .”

He sat down and poured some maple sirup on a waffle.

“No more hotdogs and hamburgers for dinner,” Betsy said. “I’m going to start making stews and casseroles and roasts and things.”

“Just watch the grocery bill,” he said.

“No more television.”

“What?”

“No more television. I’m going to give the damn set away.”

“What for?”

“Bad for the kids,” she said. “Instead of shooing them off to the television set, we’re going to sit in a family group and read aloud. And you ought to get your mandolin fixed up. We could have friends in and sing — we’ve been having too much passive entertainment.”

Tom poured himself a fragrant cup of coffee. “I’ll need the television for my work,” he said.

Betsy ignored him. “No more homogenized milk,” she said. “We’re going to save two cents a quart and shake the bottle ourselves.”

“Fine.”

“And we’re going to church every Sunday. We’re going to stop lying around Sunday mornings, drinking Martinis. We’re going to church in a family group.”

“All right.”

“ Peter! ” Betsy said.

Pete had just slowly and deliberately poured half the bottle of maple sirup over his waffle. The sirup had overflowed the plate and was now dripping on the floor. “You know you shouldn’t do that!”

“Don’t be cross,” Janey said. “It was an accident.”

“It was not an accident,” Barbara said. “He did it on purpose. I saw him.”

“Don’t be a tattletale,” Betsy said, wiping up the sirup with a damp rag. “You children are going to learn some table manners. No waffles for you, Pete.”

Pete immediately began to howl at the top of his lungs. “Give him his waffle,” Tom said hastily. “It was an accident.”

“No,” Betsy said. “We’re going to start having some consistent punishment around here.”

Pete put his thumb in his mouth and stared at her solemnly.

“It’s almost time for me to catch my train,” Tom said. “Are you going to drive me to the station, or can I take the car?”

“You’re going to walk!” she said. “It’s time you started getting some exercise.”

“I’m going to take the car,” he said. “Unless you want to drive me.”

“Can’t you walk?”

“I’m tired this morning,” he said. “Are you going to drive, or shall I take the car?”

“I’ll drive,” she said judiciously. “Get in the car, kids!”

The children scrambled into the car. All the way to the station, Betsy sat uncomfortably erect. Hardly any cars were at the station when they got there, and they saw they had ten minutes to wait for the train. They sat in silence.

“You think I’m being silly, don’t you?” Betsy said suddenly.

“I’m just a little startled.”

“We ought to start doing the things we believe in,” she said. “We’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us, and we better start now.”

He kissed her and went to buy his paper. On the train it was both cool and quiet. He sank down in a blue plush-covered seat. All up and down the aisle men were sitting, motionless and voiceless, reading their papers. Tom opened his and read a long story about negotiations in Korea. A columnist debated the question of when Russia would have hydrogen bombs to drop on the United States. Tom folded his paper and stared out the window at the suburban stations gliding by. He wondered what it would be like to work for Ogden and Hopkins, and he wondered whether Betsy’s schemes could possibly turn out successfully. What would happen if he got fired by Hopkins and Betsy’s real-estate deals turned into a fiasco?

“It doesn’t really matter.” The words came to his mind so clearly that he half thought someone had spoken them in his ear.

“Here goes nothing.”

The sentence sounded in his mind, flat and emotionless. Suddenly the tension drained out of him, and he felt relaxed. It will be interesting to see what happens, he thought. Then he had a sudden impulse to laugh. The man across the aisle from him peered over his paper suspiciously, and Tom turned his face toward the window. A railroad track alongside the ones on which he was speeding gleamed brightly in the sun.

“It doesn’t really matter.” During the war that had been a kind of key phrase for him, almost a magical charm, an incantation. He had always been tense before a jump. He had always started worrying about Betsy — that was the first stage, as soon as he learned he had another jump coming up. He had had a clear picture in his mind of a Western Union boy delivering a telegram to her beginning, “The War Department regrets to inform you. ” Betsy would open the telegram, and then she’d go upstairs to the big bedroom in Grandmother’s house, and she’d show it to Grandmother, and Grandmother would say, “You should be proud. He died for his country.” And then Betsy would start to swear — he had always been able to see her staring at his grandmother, crying and swearing, exactly as his mother had long ago.