Kamila Shamsie - Kartography

‘Just got back yesterday,’ Zia said to Dost Mohommad. ‘We’ll call down from Sonia’s room when we decide what we want for tea.’ We both turned towards the stairs.

‘Sit, sit in the drawing room. I’ll tell her you’re here.’

‘No, no need. We’ll go upstairs.’

Dost Mohammad made an apologetic sound. ‘I’m sorry, Zia baba, you’ll have to wait downstairs.’

Zia started to laugh, then saw that Dost Mohommad was serious. ‘Me? Me specifically?’

Dost Mohommad looked down at his feet. ‘Boys,’ he said. ‘No boys upstairs.’

‘What? No, that must mean strangers. Or even friends of Sohail’s. Obviously Sonia wouldn’t want her brother’s annoying seventeen-year-old friends barging into her room. It doesn’t mean me.’ Laughing again, Zia started to head towards the stairs, but Dost Mohommad’s hand shot out and gripped Zia’s arm.

‘Last week, Cyrus baba said the same thing and I let him go upstairs. Almost got fired for it.’

‘He’s travelling to Egypt,’ I mumbled.

‘What?’ Zia said, still looking at Dost Mohommad.

‘Gone see-Nile. Look, why don’t you wait down here, just to make him happy. I’ll bring Sonia down.’

I took the stairs three at a time, and charged into Sonia’s room without knocking. She wasn’t there, but I heard the shower running so I thumped on the bathroom door and yelled, ‘Come out or I’ll un-alphabeticize your CDs.’

Sonia yelled with delight, ‘I’m quickly, quickly rinsing.’

I sat down on her desk chair and picked up the magazine lying there, face down. It was the December issue of Newsline, the one that Karim had mentioned in our conversation two weeks earlier. I put it down and picked up the magazine next to it. The November issue of Newsline, with the words KARACHI: DEATH CITY running across the cover. I flipped it open and read an excerpted block:

Roaming the dark, death-haunted streets of Saddar where even the street lights were off, one would be confronted with the surreal glow of a flower shop not more than a thousand metres away from the troubled area of Jacob Lines. Asked why his shop was open late into the night when all others were closed, a flower-seller explained: ‘This is the season not of marriage but of death. People come to buy floral wreaths for those who die in the riots.’

Shivering, I turned to the last page, which was guaranteed to bring comic relief with its round-up of the most absurd lines from Karachi’s English-language press. Sure enough, there I read: ‘Only the other day he was spotted lolloping into a famous disco which was a wee bit abnormal hangout for a bud like him. When interrogated he bleached.’

I was still laughing when the bathroom door opened and Sonia enveloped me in an embrace that was all softness.

‘You hodious creature! When did you get back?’ She pulled back and smiled at me, and I couldn’t help thinking that if she were to walk down 5th Avenue just once, anorexic models would be pulled from the catwalk and a woman’s beauty would no longer be judged by her success in obliterating flesh.

‘Early this morning. You’ve put on weight since August. Looks good.’

‘Hanh, well, happiness has a high calorie count.’ She laughed and hugged me again. ‘OK, sit, I have news to tell you so big that your eyes will pop out of their sockets and plop on to the floor. But don’t worry: it was swept this morning.’

‘First call down and tell Dost Mohommad to let Zia come up.’

‘Zia’s here?’ She rolled down the sleeves of her kameez all the way to her wrists. ‘Did you fly back together?’ She bunched her wet hair together and squeezed out water, then reached behind me to the dupatta slung over the back of her chair and placed it on her head. ‘Let’s go down and sit with him.’

‘Have I entered a parallel universe here?’ I tugged at the dupatta, but she clapped one hand down to hold it in place. ‘What’s going on?’

She gave me one of her drop-the-topic looks. ‘We are Muslim women,’ she said.

I tried to find some sign that she was joking. ‘We were Muslim women four months ago, too.’

‘I thought we’d agreed to disagree about religion. Let’s go downstairs. Poor Zia must be getting bored.’

The intercom beeped three times to indicate there was a phone call for her. She picked up the phone, listened to the voice on the other end, and made a gesture in my direction that said, ‘Go down, I’ll join you there.’

Thoroughly confused, and more than a little concerned, I walked downstairs. Sonia’s and my friendship had always existed against all probability, our ways of life so tangential that logic should dictate we could only look at each other across a wide gulf, and wave. The reason our friendship had survived and strengthened over the years was that Sonia succeeded in being so self-effacing in her beliefs, allowing nothing in her convictions to act as reproach, and I was well aware that I scarcely extended her the same courtesy.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs I could see Zia through the open door of the TV room, shuffling through a pile of CDs but not paying any attention to the jackets, his eyes fixed on a framed picture of Sonia instead.

In America I’d tell people that Zia and I had been friends for ever, but the truth was vastly more complicated than that. When we were both fifteen he became my first boyfriend, a title he managed to retain for less than seventy-two hours. Quite what happened to bring everything to a disastrous end neither of us could now remember, but when it happened, with no Karim around to laugh at us and listen to us and, in so doing, smooth the transition from relationship back to friendship, I had taken to making the lives of our mutual friends unnecessarily difficult by declaring I wanted nothing to do with Zia. Of our entire group only Sonia seemed not to mind, and blithely ripped the ‘Z’ page out of her phone book as a show of her support for my position. When she did that I was, I’ll admit, dismayed; I wanted so much to have cause to dislike her, because it was clear that Zia had not, not for one moment, stopped being in love with her. Truth is, I missed his friendship, particularly since Karim was so far away and there was no one else with whom I could talk about Karim the way I talked about him with Zia. But I saw how much it hurt him to have Sonia put an arm around me and lead me away every time he approached, and so I continued pretending that I wanted to be lead away, my relationship with both Sonia and Zia a murky and tangled thing until Sonia finally let me yell at her, and the yells turned to tears which dissolved all my anger at her. By that time Zia had found his own group of friends; a ‘racy set’, as Aunty Runty put it to everyone at her beauty parlour, and for over a year he disappeared in a haze of drugs and alcohol, and then he disappeared between the covers of textbooks, having decided he was getting out of Karachi even if it meant learning every word on the SAT word-list by heart and taking tuition lessons for every subject, not with the popular tuition teachers who we all went to post-school en masse, but one-on-one teachers whom Zia’s father paid exorbitant amounts to aid Zia in racing to the top of the class, leaving his teachers no choice but to write letters of recommendation to US universities saying, for a while there he fell behind, but I have scarcely ever seen such a passion for learning as he has exhibited, blah, blah, blah.

America brought Zia and me together again — literally. At university, in the middle of New York state, nostalgic for things we’d never paid attention to, like Urdu music and basmati rice, Zia and I scoured the neighbouring towns and found each other at a moment when familiarity was ready to serve as a synonym for friendship. There was some initial tentativeness on both our parts when he first began to drive the half-hour from his college to mine on the feeblest of excuses, but it wasn’t long before we slipped into our old habit of camaraderie and were even able to laugh at the melodrama of our break-up, which had occurred in the biology lab while we were both dissecting rabbits. ‘I bet you’re imagining that rabbit is me,’ I had hissed to Zia, as he sped his way through the dissection at twice the speed everyone else was going. ‘Impossible,’ he had replied, stabbing a rabbit ventricle with his scalpel to send an arc of blood spurting at me. ‘The bunny’s got a heart!’