Даниэла Стил: The Affair

Nicolas was on his best behavior. They had spent several weekends at the château with the girls, and Nicolas and Nadia had gone to Rome alone for a weekend. He was writing full steam ahead again, and it was flowing. They were both busy and working hard. And he was staying at the apartment with her and the girls. She had told her mother about it and Rose said she was cautiously optimistic. He was going to have to prove himself to her.

Olivia and Harley were doing well too. Venetia thought they were even closer than they’d been before. But the explosion between them had been brief. Nicolas and Nadia had been apart for many months, and the damage had been more extensive.

Rose was relieved that they were back together, and hoped it worked. Everyone was wishing them well.

—

They had been together for three months when Nadia came home from the office one day. The girls were at their gym class with the babysitter, and she opened the mail that had been left on her desk at home. There was a thick unmarked envelope that she opened last. She had brought work home from the office, and had a dozen things on her mind. Nicolas was back in the room he used to write. When she pulled the letter out of the envelope, she stared at it, shocked. She sat down and read through it, and then got up and hurried down the hall to his office. He was correcting some pages he had written the day before on the computer and looked up in surprise when he saw her. She hadn’t knocked. She didn’t say a word. She walked over and handed the papers to him and he stared at them in shock, as she had.

“Shit. How did this happen? I meant to ask you about it a few weeks ago, if we were supposed to do something to stop it, and I forgot. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s too late to reverse it. It looks official,” she said, staring at him. They were divorced. The divorce had gone through. They had signed the papers three months before, and had never stopped the procedure. “Oh my God, I’m not married to you anymore.”

“You’re a free woman.” It was kind of a creepy feeling, like a ship that had slipped its moorings and was drifting out to sea.

They both called their attorneys and were told the same thing. It was too late to reverse it or cancel the proceedings. Their marriage had been dissolved, and the only thing they could do was get married again, if they didn’t want to be divorced. But for now, they were in fact divorced.

They met in Nadia’s office at home after talking to their lawyers, and spoke in whispers. The children were home by then and they didn’t want them to know. Nadia was sure it would panic them, and she felt slightly panicked herself.

“Do you want to get married again?” he asked her, unnerved by it too.

“I think so.”

“You think so? What do you mean by that?”

“What if getting married again screws things up, or jinxes us or something?” She looked worried and he laughed.

“This is ridiculous. We went through hell and we were married. Now we’re back together, and we’re accidentally divorced. Personally, I don’t like it. I like being married to you. I want to be married to you.”

“So do I. I feel a little silly telling people we forgot to cancel our divorce, so now we’re not married.”

“Let’s fix it. We don’t even have to tell anyone beforehand. We can just invite everyone to the château for a long weekend, surprise them when they get there, and do it,” he suggested. Nadia liked that idea too. They agreed not to tell anyone about the papers that arrived. They laughed about it in bed that night. “Actually, it’s kind of sexy making love to you and not being married. I’d forgotten what that’s like.”

“Well, that’s a relief. We can’t get married until at least June,” she reminded him.

“Why not? You have something more important to do?”

“No, Venetia does. She’s not due till mid-May, if she makes it till then. She’s on bed rest, and she won’t be able to travel until the baby is a month old.” He had forgotten.

“Fine. We’ll get married in June. Invite everyone then. I can’t believe I’m planning a wedding with my own wife.”

“I don’t know how I forgot to cancel the papers. I think I was afraid to.”

“And now?” he asked her. “Are you still afraid?”

“No, I’m not,” she said and kissed him. Things had been perfect between them, better than she had expected. Maybe even better than before.

“Are you happy?” he asked her seriously.

“I am.” She nodded and nestled peacefully into his arms. “I can’t believe we’re divorced, though.”

“That’s what happens when you play with fire. You’re the one who wanted to get divorced. That was your idea.”

“I was trying to get over you,” she reminded him.

“Well, you did a lousy job of it, fortunately,” he said, pulling her close to him. He loved sleeping with her again and waking up next to her, talking to her late at night and in the morning. The girls were happy too. It was as though the nightmare of the year before had never happened. She was so precious to him, he knew he would never be unfaithful again. She still had to meet Benoit, but she felt ready to now. What had happened wasn’t the baby’s fault. And Nicolas had no contact at all with Pascale anymore. Only with her mother. He and Pascale weren’t on bad terms, she was just pursuing her own life and doing what she wanted. Nicolas had been a moment in her life, and for her the moment was over. For Nadia she had been an explosion, a bomb that had hit them. She didn’t like to think about it, but she did at times, and marveled at the fact that they had recovered from it, and been able to get back together.

“How are we going to do this?” she asked Nicolas about their remarriage. “We just go to the mairie, and have lunch afterwards?” The mairie was the city hall of each district of Paris and each small town outside Paris.

“That’s a little dry, don’t you think? We could do it at the mairie for the legal ceremony, and have a church wedding the next day, the way normal people do it.”

“I’m not sure how ‘normal’ we are. We’re divorced. Are you telling me you want a real wedding?” She looked amused.

“I think I do,” he said, mulling it over. “Why not? We have a lot to celebrate. We could make it one-stop shopping. Benoit hasn’t been christened yet, and I suspect they’ll never get to it. We could have him baptized at the wedding, and have him at the château for the weekend. Or is that too crazy?”

“Definitely crazy. I think we’re starting to border on the seriously eccentric. But I guess we could, as long as his mother doesn’t show up.”

“She won’t. We won’t tell her.”

“Don’t ever tell me that I’m still too American. I’m going to marry my husband, whom I accidentally divorced, while we christen the baby he had with his mistress, who was the reason for the divorce in the first place. In America, they put you in psychiatric hospitals for this.”

“I don’t think it’s actually done in the better social circles here either, but I don’t care. Do you?”

“Actually, I don’t. What the hell. Why not baptize the baby? I hope my mother is up to this.”

“Your mother is pretty cool.”

Nadia had an idea then. She wanted to discuss it with Venetia. She had come back to her marriage still in love with Nicolas, but with a stronger sense of herself, more self-confidence, and an independence she’d never had before. She had survived the worst blow that could hit a marriage, and had come out the other end, whole, and strong, and happy. Her sisters had noticed it too.

She called Venetia the next morning and confided in her. She was the only one she was going to tell. She wanted to surprise everyone else.