Даниэла Стил - The Affair

“It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie,” Rose said. “I’m disappointed that none of you are impressed with my racy youth.” She smiled at them and Venetia laughed.

“You married the guy, Mom. That’s not racy. And an early marriage doesn’t exactly qualify you for the Scarlet Letter.”

“I guess not. We felt like Romeo and Juliet because our parents were so unhappy about it, but they didn’t stop us, and we figured out very quickly that we’d made a terrible mistake. I was enormously relieved when we separated. I left for Paris to study at the Sorbonne, and I could put it behind me. And then I left for the States, after I met your father.”

“I can think of several older people who had early marriages no one ever knew about. And they never talk about them. You pretty much had to get married to have sex in those days, and divorce was considered a disgrace.” Rose nodded when Venetia said it.

“Actually, I was a virgin when I met him. It feels like several lifetimes ago, as though it happened to someone else. Your father used to tease me once in a while, and said he loved me more because I was a woman with a past. I was such a baby then, even when we married. It always stuns me how fast the time goes. You don’t realize that when you’re young,” she said wistfully. “You think you’ll be young forever, and then suddenly you’re not, and the best part is over.” The wine was starting to make her morose, and they all realized how much she missed their father. She was widowed so early, and hopefully still had many full, creative years ahead of her. But she had not looked at another man since he’d died. She filled the void his absence left with work, and time with her girls.

They sat and chatted for another hour, and no one else came forward with shocking revelations. They all gave Olivia a warm hug when they said good night, and Olivia clung to each of them for a moment, grateful that whatever any of them did, the others accepted it. They were all determined never to raise the issue of Will’s paternity again. It simply didn’t matter. And Nadia hoped that her somewhat harsh, judgmental older sister would be a little more compassionate in future about her situation. If anyone was going to get tough with Nicolas, it had to be Nadia herself, and not because Olivia was prodding her. She was angrier at him now than she wanted to admit to her mother or sisters. She wanted to scream every time she thought of him with Pascale. He had been such a damn fool and had ruined everything. She was furious with him, but she didn’t quite hate him yet. She was discovering that it took longer than she thought for love to turn to hate. And even longer for love to die. But she knew she’d get there in the end.

She felt sorry for Olivia when she went to bed that night. Then the wine they’d drunk caught up with her too, and she fell asleep and dreamed of Nicolas holding a baby. She couldn’t remember if the baby was hers or not, but a beautiful young woman was standing near, watching her and laughing. She could see clearly that the woman was Pascale. And then, Nicolas and Pascale walked away with the baby and left her. She woke up in tears. She tried not to think about the symbolism of the dream and didn’t want to know. But it was obvious to her anyway. Pascale and Nicolas were together, with their baby, and she wound up alone.

Chapter 6

The next morning at breakfast, none of them mentioned Harley or Will. Out of the blue, Venetia commented that she wanted to have another baby. She had loved growing up as one of four girls. It pleased Rose to hear that.

“I’d actually love to have five or six,” Venetia said with a mischievous smile, “but Ben would probably kill me. Our life is chaotic as it is. Big families always seem so cozy to me.”

“I wanted another one too. We wanted to wait till next year,” Nadia said wistfully. “Now that’s not going to happen. I’m happy with my girls.” With the current state of her marriage, whatever happened, she couldn’t see herself having another child. Only if she divorced Nicolas and married someone else. She would never trust him enough again to have another baby with him.

“My dogs are more than enough for me,” Athena said, content as always.

“Your father loved having four daughters.” Rose smiled at them. “He was so proud of all of you.”

They lay at the pool after breakfast, enjoying their last few hours together before they had to leave. The weekend had gone too quickly, but it felt like they had been there for longer than four days.

“Why don’t you and Sylvie and Laure come to California this summer?” Athena suggested to Nadia as they lay there. “I’ll still be on hiatus, and it would be fun for them. We can take them to Universal Studios and Disneyland.” The idea appealed to Nadia, but Nicolas hadn’t told her his plans yet.

“I’m not sure when he wants to see them. But I’d like to come out. I assume he’s going to want to use the château at some point,” presumably with Pascale. The thought of it felt like an open wound and almost made her wince. California, visiting her sister, would be a pleasant escape. “I’ll figure it out and let you know.”

“You can come to Southampton too. I take three-day weekends in August, and stay out for a couple of weeks, and so does Ben. We’d love to have you,” Venetia spoke up. And their mother would be at her own small house there on weekends.

“Will you be in the Hamptons this summer, Mom?” Venetia asked her. Rose’s house was like a dollhouse, but she enjoyed it.

“If I’m not too busy working on October and November.” Rose never stopped, year round. Her life was a constant merry-go-round of perfecting the next issue. Venetia knew that Olivia would be in Maine with Will and Harley, spending as much time as they could on their sailboat. Athena would be happily at home in California, trying out new recipes for the show for after the hiatus. Nadia was usually at the château all summer, but this year, she was grateful for their invitations. It would be nice to leave France for a while and get away from the furor over Nicolas and Pascale. She was sure Nicolas would want to use the château part of the time. And she had nowhere else to go with the girls.

They ate a light lunch at the pool, and then Rose and Nadia’s sisters went to their rooms to pack. Olivia and Venetia were flying back to New York together that night. Athena was going to the airport with them and catching the L.A. flight.

The van Nadia had hired for them came to pick them up, and the five women hugged, and almost cried as they said goodbye to Nadia, while Laure and Sylvie watched. It had been a perfect weekend, full of good moments, happy times, and startling revelations. Venetia had confessed to Nadia privately that she was finding it hard to put out of her mind what Olivia had shared with them.

“Every time I see Will or Harley, I’m going to think of it. I almost wish she hadn’t told us.” Nadia admitted she felt the same way about it.

“I don’t know how she has lived with a secret like that for all these years.”

“Maybe that’s why she’s so hard on everyone else,” Venetia ventured.

“You’d think it would make her more forgiving and compassionate,” Nadia said.

“Maybe it will now.”

She and the girls stood waving as the van pulled away. Rose went with them, since she had meetings the next day and was flying back to New York on Monday night. She was spending the night at the Ritz. The van was going to drop her off after they dropped the others at the airport.

Nadia knew that the time they had just spent together would provide warm memories for a long time.

“I hope that one day you two love each other the way I love my sisters. A sister is a very special thing,” she reminded them, as Sylvie rolled her eyes, and Laure stuck out her tongue at her sister. They had dinner in the kitchen that night and Nadia missed her mother and sisters.