Бруно Травен: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

“Thank you, my friend, for your story,” Howard said, with a very sour face. “No, there is no longer any reason to go after them. They didn’t carry any of these little bags with them when they were arrested?”

“Not one,” the Indian replied. “They had only the boots of the man they had killed and his pants and a few centavos. It wasn’t much. And a pocketknife. Everything else is still in the packs. They didn’t sell anything on their way up here to our village, for they met no one who could buy. So there is only very little lost, senor doctor. Everything is in the packs just as you packed it. Only the sand is gone, of course.”

“Yes, of course, only the sand is gone.” Howard meditated for a few seconds as though he wanted to get the whole affair well fixed in his mind. Then he let out such a roar of Homeric laughter that his companions thought him crazy.

“Well, amigos finos, don’t mind my laughing. This is the biggest and best joke I ever heard in all my life.” And he laughed again until his belly ached. The Indians, supposing he was overjoyed about something, fell in with him, laughing as heartily as he did, without knowing what it all was about.

“So we have worked and labored and suffered like galley-slaves for the pleasure of it,” Howard said to Curtin when he finished his story. “Anyway, I think it’s a very good joke—a good one played on us and on the bandits by the Lord or by fate or by nature, whichever you prefer. And whoever or whatever played it certainly had a good sense of humor. The gold has gone back where we got it?”

Curtin, however, was not so philosophical as Howard. He was in a bad mood. All their hard work and privations had been for nothing.

“The whole output of our mine could be had for a bag of tobacco, had we met the bandits in time and asked them for that sand.” Howard again burst out laughing.

“You make me sick with your foolish laughter,” Curtin yelled at him in anger. “I can’t understand how anybody in his right mind can laugh at such a silly thing!”

“If you can’t laugh at that, my boy, then I don’t know what humor is. This joke alone is worth ten months of labor and trouble.” He laughed until the tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Since I was robbed, I’ve been made into a great performer of miracles, a doctor whose fame is spreading all over the Sierra Madre. I have more successful cures to my credit than the bestpaid doe in Los An. You’ve been killed twice and you are still alive, and will be, I hope, for sixty years to come. Dobbs has lost his head so completely that he can’t use it any longer. And all this for a certain amount of gold which no one can locate and which could have been bought for three packages of cigarettes, worth thirty centavos.” Howard couldn’t help it, he had to laugh again and again.

At last, Curtin also began to see the joke and broke out laughing. When Howard saw this he jumped up and pressed his hand over Curtin’s mouth. “Not you, old boy, don’t you try to imitate me, or you’ll burst your lungs. Better be careful about them, they aren’t yet entirely healed. We need your lungs to return to the port—to return as men who have owned and lost a million.”

Curtin became thoughtful. “I was just wondering what we can do in the port. We’ll have to look for a living some way.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing since I knew that the sand was gone. I might try to settle here for good as a medicine-man. I shall never run short of patrons, that’s one thing I know. We might run this business together. I could make you my junior partner. In fact, I need a good assistant. Often I don’t know where to go first, and, you know, one man can’t very well be in two different places at the same time.”

The partnership was never formed, for the simple reason that when Howard opened all packs, he found two bags still filled with sand. They had either been overlooked by the thieves or those rascals had been too lazy to open all the packs.

Howard held these two bags up to appraise their value.

“How much do you think they might be worth?” Curtin asked. “Do you think it might be enough to run a movie house in the port?”

“I’m afraid not. A movie house would cost us slightly more. What I was thinking is what about a grocery store, one of the better sort?”

“Where? In that port?”

“Where else did you figure? With that oil boom on, man, there’s always business.”

“Oil boom. Don’t make me laugh. There’s no boom any longer.” Curtin disapproved of this plan and explained why. “During the month before we left, I remember that four of the largest and best-stocked grocery stores in the port went broke and were closed. Don’t you remember that, you smart promoter?”

“Yep, I admit it might be risky. You’re right, the boom is over. But it’s now more than ten months since that, and many things may have happened meantime to change the whole situation. What about giving luck a chance?”

“After all, your medicine business might be still better, old man. We’ll stay here for another two months. Here we always have three square meals a day, even five if we want them; we have a roof over our heads and frequently even a hearty drink, and there will be a dance Saturday night with other possibilities of avoiding loneliness. It’s a question whether we should have that much if we opened a grocery store.”

“You said it, Curty. And just take into consideration the plain fact that any damned fool may become a grocer, but not win fame among the Indians as a great doctor and be more highly respected than the president himself. To be a good medicine-man is not so easy as you might think. You can’t learn that profession in a university. A good medicine-man is born, not made. I’m a born medicine-man, I can tell you that. Just come over to the village where I have my headquarters. Yes, my boy, even you will take off your hat when you see how much respected I am there. Only the day before yesterday they wanted to make me their legislature—the whole legislature. I don’t know what they mean by that, but I figure it must be the greatest honor they can bestow.”

At this moment his host stepped into the hut where Curtin and Howard were talking.

“Senor doctor,” the host said, “I am sorry to ask you to leave your dear friend who is so sick. He will recover all right, don’t worry, for he has had your good medicine. We shall look after him and take the best of care of him. But I have to take you with me, senor doctor, back to our pueblo. A man on horseback who has just arrived from there says that so many people have come to our village to see the doctor that all our folks are anxious. They are not used to such crowds. So I beg you to hurry and go back home, so that the visitors may see you, get their medicine, and leave our village peacefully.”

“There you see, partner,” Howard said to Curtin, “what an important person I am, and I want you to respect me properly.”

“I certainly will, senor doctor.” Curtin laughed mockingly and shook hands with Howard.

“And hurry up, old boy, and get well.”

“I’m feeling fine already. I’m sure I will be okay inside of three days. As soon as I can sit in a saddle, I shall come over to your village to see the great doctor performing his miracles.”

Howard had no time to answer, for the Indians snatched him away from his pal, dragged him out, and lifted him on his horse. No sooner was he seated in the saddle than the Indians shouted, whipped their ponies into action, and hurried back home.