Jules Wake - Covent Garden in the Snow - The most gorgeous and heartwarming Christmas romance of the year!

I winced. The cupboard was already hanging from its hinges.

‘What’s the matter? You look like you swallowed a pound and shat a penny.’

‘Crap day. Seriously crap. The crappest of the crappiest.’

‘Tell Uncle Felix all about it.’

I shook my head, pulling a face. ‘Urgh, Uncle Felix sounds well creepy. And this is bad.’

‘Do we need Mojitos?’ he asked teasingly.

‘Not this time.’ I sighed and took a slug of gin. ‘I might not be able to afford Mojitos ever again.’

‘That bad.’ He pulled a face of mock horror.

Sometimes Felix just wore you down with his indefatigable refusal to be serious. I gave him a half-hearted smile because I couldn’t not.

‘Been a shocker of a day. Started with a virus. Then I got bollocked by the new IT man and then Pietro missed curtain up. And Alison,’ I twisted my mouth in a bad-medicine taste expression, ‘Kreufeld went ballistic and wants to see me tomorrow.’ I covered my face with my hands, stretching my skin over my cheekbones. ‘I just know she wants to get rid of me. And that freelance woman, Arabella Barnes, is desperate for a job.’

‘Well, she can’t do that because you’re ace and Jeanie and Vince would put syrup of figs in this Arabella bird’s coffee. Although personally I don’t get it.’ He shook his head and jumped to his feet. ‘How do you put up with all that gruesome squawking?’ Clutching his chest and holding out one hand, he launched into a horribly shrill falsetto vaguely reminiscent of Bohemian Rhapsody . ‘Kill me now. I beg of you. Spare me from this awful music.’

In spite of myself I burst out laughing. ‘You are awful. You should come, you might even enjoy it.’

He shook his head like a mutinous toddler.

‘How do you know if you’ve never tried it?’

He pulled a face. ‘That’s what mothers say when they want kids to eat green stuff, like broccoli or cabbage or Brussels sprouts. If I ever have children, they can live on jelly and ice-cream if they want.’

‘They’ll get malnutrition,’ I giggled.

‘Yeah but they’ll be the happiest kids on the block.’ He took a long swallow of beer, almost downing the whole bottle in one and then smacked it down on the table.

‘So, what have you done?’

I told him about the Santa baby image because quite frankly that seemed the least of my problems.

‘Oh missus. You big numpty!’ He jumped up, oblivious to the cupboard door which dropped another inch, and then gave me a fleeting hug before whirling over to the fridge to help himself to another beer. ‘I wouldn’t worry about it,’ he grinned.

‘People get those virus things all the time. It’s no big deal. That’s what you have virus protection for. It’ll be fine. I think half the time, the IT bods just use the fear of a possible virus to frighten people, so that you think you need them.’

‘Well we’ve got a new one. An IT Director. He’s a bit of a stiff. He caught me yanking the plug out of the computer.’

‘Director eh? Big title. I’m sure he’s got more important things to do than worry about that. Next.’

I closed my eyes, remembering the flutters of panic when I thought I might not get Pietro to go on stage. ‘Much worse … the absolute worst. Pietro delayed curtain up.’

‘Blimey.’ Even Felix knew how serious that was. He squeezed my arm with an immediate show of understanding. Felix really did get how important my job was to me.

‘It wasn’t even my fault but AK immediately assumed it was. She didn’t even give me a chance to explain that Pietro got a call and the press … He’s being blackmailed.’

‘Ooooo what’s he done? Been caught in a compromising position with a rent boy in the box office?’

‘Felix! Don’t be so horrible.’

‘What’s he done then? Something worse?’ His keen-eyed curiosity had me hesitating for a second, I could almost hear him smacking his lips in anticipation.

I sighed. ‘He was so upset. When he was younger, his family didn’t have the money to pay for singing lessons. He got a part in a porn film to earn the money.’

‘I can’t wait to tell Kevin that one.’

‘Felix! You can’t tell anyone.’

‘Just joking. So, what’s happened?’

‘Pietro’s sleaze-ball of an ex-brother-in-law has threatened to contact the press unless Pietro is nice to him. Shorthand for give him a big hand out.’

‘Can you imagine it? If the press get wind the film will be all over the internet. At the moment if he can keep a lid on it, it’s unlikely anyone will track it down.’

‘Blimey. What a boy.’

I shook my head and sighed. Poor Pietro. ‘He told me a bit about it, sounded quite racy. Very Lady Chatterley. Apparently, he played the young gardener seduced by the Contessa. Pietro said it was called Il Gardiniere .’

‘Doing her lady’s garden for her,’ giggled Felix. ‘Classic. Go Pietro. Someone would pay good money for pictures.’

‘Felix, you shouldn’t say that.’ I shook my head. ‘It’s not funny. I feel so sorry for him. You didn’t see how upset he was. He almost couldn’t go on.’

‘You’re too soft. He’ll get over it,’ dismissed Felix. ‘No such thing as bad publicity.’

To: Wig, Hair, and Make-Up Team

From: Director of IT

All members of staff are reminded that under no circumstances should attachments from unauthorised sources be opened or any unapproved material downloaded.

M Walker

Director of IT

London Metropolitan Opera Company

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