Ruri Pilgrim - Fish of the Seto Inland Sea

Haruko nodded gravely. She felt an enormous weight of responsibility. She did not understand how she should help her mother. She concluded that they would become very poor like a lot of her school friends. If it was so, there was no problem. She would carry water, wood, and cook meals for Shuichi. She would fight village boys if they harmed her brother. She could picture herself in a tattered kimono going to school hungry because she had given her breakfast to Shuichi. Yes, she would do that.

‘Yes, otohsan, I will,’ she said. Shintaro smiled a little.

It was an honour to be asked. Haruko thought she knew why she was selected. When she was five, she and Takeko were having a nap in a kotatsu , a little charcoal burner in a wooden frame with a cover over it. Haruko was woken up by Takeko’s scream. Takeko had put her foot too near the fire. Her tabi , a sock, was smouldering. Haruko opened a window, scooped up snow in both hands and put it on the burning sock. By the time the grown-ups came, Takeko was still screaming but the fire was out. The burn was not severe.

‘You are such an intelligent child. You are more cool-headed than most grown-ups.’ Her father had patted her head then.

The night Haruko promised her father to look after Shuichi, there was a lot of rain. The sea was rough and the roar of waves was heard very close. Around midnight, a sliding door was quietly opened and Kei came into the room where the children were asleep. She woke the three girls and carried Shuichi.

When they went into the room where Shintaro lay, they were told to sit by his bedside. Shuichi was made to sit first and the girls followed. Their mother held a bowl of water and a brush for them. In turn, the children were handed the brush and told to wet their father’s lips.

The doctor was at the other side of the bed holding Shintaro’s wrist.

‘I am sorry ... Please look after Shuichi and the other children, and help Ayako,’ Shintaro said in a low but clear voice. In Confucius’ terms, Shintaro was an undutiful son, as his death preceded those of his parents and gave them grief.

‘Don’t worry. Shuichi will be well taken care of as the heir of the Miwas. And the other children, too, of course,’ Tei-ichi said from behind Shobei. Shobei had his arms folded and did not move.

‘Thank you,’ Shintaro said, and closed his eyes.

The wind blew hard and bamboo bushes kept hitting the shutters. The electric bulb hanging from the ceiling swayed in a draught and moved their shadows.

The next morning, Haruko found that all the white hagi flowers had gone from the garden, blown away by the wind.

‘He was blessed with too much,’ people said. ‘He was intelligent, handsome and rich. He had a lovely wife and children. He was so lucky that the devil was jealous of him.’

The coffin was taken back home and there was a quiet family funeral that night. The public Buddhist ceremony was held at home, three days later. Ayako wore a black kimono and the children were all in white. Shuichi was sitting nearest to the altar as chief mourner. Ayako sat next to him and then the girls in order of age.

Baron Kida, a close friend of Shobei, was the senior member of the funeral committee. Led by the head priest of the family temple, the ceremony was impressive and well attended. The house was filled with wreaths sent by the famous. They spilled out from the house through the gate into the street.

The mourners were struck by Ayako’s loveliness. At twenty-eight, she seemed to be at the height of refined beauty. The black kimono enhanced her classical features. It was customary to include a black mourning kimono in a trousseau, and Kei had bought the most expensive black silk. Kei had always been frugal and Tei-ichi had been shocked at its price.

‘It is not necessary to have such good quality,’ he protested.

Kei was undaunted on this occasion.

‘Black silk is very revealing,’ she said. ‘If the material is cheap, the colour is muddy and it will stand out when everybody is in black. The young wife of the Miwas cannot look unstylish.’

Pale-faced but composed, Ayako sat between Shuichi and Takeko. The expensive black silk was almost luminous. The edge of her collar against the dark kimono was so white that it almost hurt her eyes. The guests forgot for a moment the rites and incense when they saw her.

Shintaro had prepared her for the day. During his long illness, he had often talked about her life after he had gone.

‘I have loved you from the moment I saw you,’ he said. Ayako was unaccustomed to this kind of expression and at first she looked at him blankly. He took her hand. ‘I will always love you wherever I am.’

It was Shintaro who told her to become a Christian. He thought that her simple adoration of him could find an outlet in the worship of Christ. The teachings would comfort her.

The funeral went on for a long time. Many people came from all over the area. The thick white smoke of incense and the incessant chanting of sutras continued. Shuichi stayed still all through the funeral and people talked about how good he was.

Shobei sat squarely right behind Shuichi. He kept repeating to himself, as though to convince fate, that he had to live for twenty more years. ‘I have to see to Shuichi until he finishes university.’

The next day, an ox cart made a slow journey to the temple through winding village streets carrying the coffin. The villagers came out to pay their last respects to Shintaro. Most women cried, but their tears were for the four-year-old Shuichi in a white kimono, carrying his father’s name tablet and walking behind the coffin. Haruko walked with him. It was either Ayako or Takeko’s place to be nearest to Shuichi, but no one protested. In the family, Haruko was beginning to be regarded as trustworthy.

Shobei was sitting in his study. It was a room connected to the main house by a covered corridor and faced a garden of its own. The day was fine and all the sliding doors were open. He was at a desk under the window on which were a large abacus, a lacquered box with brush and ink stone, and a wooden box containing a substantial number of documents.

The chrysanthemums in the garden were vivid yellow. He had forgotten that their season had returned. After the funeral, courtesy visits to and from relatives and friends had kept them busy for several weeks. A carp jumped out of the water of a large pond.

He remembered the day when he waded into the pond in a formal hakama and kimono with family crests to catch a carp for a member of the imperial family. That year, on the plain nearby, the Emperor had held grand military manoeuvres over three days and the Miwas were chosen to accommodate a prince. A special cook was hired from the town and the carp was duly presented to the imperial table.

Shobei and Shintaro were invited to sit at the table with the prince and allowed to share the dishes. Ayako, in her specially prepared dark blue kimono with painted and embroidered chrysanthemums, attended the table.

When the prince left, having thanked the host and his son for their hospitality, he fixed his eyes on Shintaro and said, ‘You are a lucky fellow to have such a beautiful wife.’

After he had gone, Shintaro remarked, ‘Thank goodness, we aren’t living in the barbaric feudal period. He might have tried to take Ayako with him.’

‘Don’t be disrespectful to the imperial family,’ Shobei scolded his son, but now he understood Shintaro’s concern for Ayako’s vulnerability.