Keith Barret - Making Divorce Work - In 9 Easy Steps

Great days!

So, anyway, that’s enough about me, let’s get back to the book and your feelings of despondency.It’s meant to be what they call a self-help book; that is, a book that helps you to help yourself. I rather think of it though as me helping you, by sharing my experienceswith you. Experiences garnered from a rich, varied and very happy life that has led me down the road to where I am today Where am I today? Well, as The Fatboy Slim would say I’m “ Right Here, Right Now ”! So are you,so what better opportunity for the two of us to get down to work and help each other? Having said that, it will primarily be me helping you, as the help is help that comes from me, from my experiences.If you tried to help me with the same advice I would have to say that I already know that advice, so “thanks but no thanks”, and that probably wouldn’t go down well. Let’s face it, if you’re reading a self-help book you’re not in the best state of mind for handling rejection. Maybe it’s a rejection that unpicked the stitching in the fabric of your life and put you in a tailspin in the first place, and my new rejection would just reopen old wounds and encourage you to ponder on the mess you’ve made of things.So let’s not do that, let’s reject it! Let’s

REJECT THE REJECTION!

Harsh? Yes, but fair also. I’ve given it a lot of thought and if I were to accept my own advice from a reader like you, we would just go round in circles, it would be like teaching an old dog new tricks.Actually it would be more accurate to say “teaching a dog in his late 30s (human years, so whatever the equivalent is in dog… times it by seven… 210. Let’s face it, at that age you’d be lucky to get a coherent barkfrom him, let alone master a new skill…) tricks of a variety of ages that he already knows”, and what would be the point of that? Well all right, yes, I suppose it would enable the old dog to hone the trick, to become even better at it, but …

OK, we could go round the houses forever on this one. For the sake of progress, and so we can be sure that we’re shooting from the same hymn sheet, let’s say that I’ll help you, end of the story. You’ll be the student and I’ll be the master,like in Star Wars, a Jedi and his young Padawan; who knows, maybe one day the tables will turn and the student will become the master, like Darth Vader and Alec Guinness. If so then let’s hope that we can remain cordial and content ourselves with a frank exchange of views, with no urge on your part to sever my torso in an act of bitter vengeance …

It’s a bit of fun!

So come on, it’s time to start our journey. Seatbelts on, check the mirror, put her in gear, or rather, leave that to me! You just get yourself comfortable.Have a look in the glove box, I’ve left some sweets in there, they’re the classic travel sweets in a round tin, lying like broken pieces of Stonehenge in a snowy sherbet field. I like these sweets and always choose them over a more sticky chocolate type affair, in particular because I love the sherbet. I always put a bit of sherbet on my finger and dab it around my nose so that when I glance in the mirror I look like Al Pacino as the cocaine-addled crime lord Michael Corleone in Scarface, “Hoo Ha!” A bit of fun, it makes you feel part of the in crowd. I’m not advocating drug use,of course I’m not, I must stress that it’s not real cocaine, it’s the sherbet at the bottom of a tin of travel sweets,it’s not addictive. If anything I would urge drug addicts to consider it as an alternative to riding the dragon;as for those who are toying with the idea of drugs, what I call teetering, I put forward the sweets as a halfway house, a compromise; particularly for teenagers. If you are a teenager I urge you to choose the sweets while at the same time asking what could possibly have gone wrong with your life at such a young age to make you resort to a book like this?

Whatever… This book is open to all comers – academics and idiots, old codgers and young bucks, sober judges and teenage binge drinkers. All are welcome! Let’s take the first steps together on our wonderful journey, our fantastic voyage, our magical mystery tour to a place where we will all be …

MAKING DIVORCE WORK!

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