Aldivan Teixeira Torres - The Dark Night Of The Soul

I get closer and when I arrive exactly to the place, I climb the banana and the coconut trees with the same faith and claws that I got up the mountain; I harvest the fruits, climb down, eat and rest a little. In meanwhile, I don’t lose too much time, because I still have to find the timber to build my cabin. This was strictly necessary for protecting myself from the wild animals. Having got what I needed, I come back.

On my return, I start to build my abode, but the time goes by and there is no sign of the guardian lady. What could have happened to her? Will it be that she does not exist anymore? Well, if this was the case I would be really lost, because I still believe that she is the key or at the least arrow that points me to the desired way of the dark night of the soul. I try not think about the worst and carry on building my temporary roof and as I already have experience it will be quite strong for my safety during the night. With lots of dedication from my side, finally my roof is ready. I decide to rest a little, because it was almost night time.

A while later, a cold wind blows and I have a bad feeling. What is about to happen? I scan the surroundings and it gives me more signs that the mountain is about to react to my presence. It was expected, in the end, I was walking on the sacred ground, without even asking for permission. With all buts and ifs, I decide to lock myself in the cabin and wait for the next day, the night was already falling. Good night, readers. Till the next chapter.

I am happy and relaxed at the top of the sacred mountain which facilitated my objectives. The weather is good, I am alone, but it doesn’t make me afraid, because I have learnt how to control this weakness in opposing forces. All of a sudden, the appearance of the mountain begins to change sharply: The ground disappears from under my feet, I begin to float in the air, dark clouds in the sky are approaching and every minute a mysterious anguish is suffocating my chest. Simultaneously, from the north side, a group of Indians led by Kualopu appears, the sorcerer of the darkness. As they approach, the dark clouds in the sky gather even stronger, completely covering the sun, leaving the day looking like night. Watching the scenery, I hear Kualopu pronouncing unintelligible words, as trying to expel his occult forces. When he does that, the dark clouds moving rapidly envelop all of my body. At the same time, a circle of light surrounds me, holding me hopelessly. The next moment, the gravitational forces are shaken and a kind of time tunnel is formed. Immediately I am pushed against the tunnel, and when touching it I am subjected to a sequence of visions. In them I travel to the world of spirits, more exactly for a meeting between the most developed spirits. At the said meeting, they are sited, they talk democratically, specifically about the partition of the opposing forces. In the end, it is agreed the performance of each one and the choice aspects in relation to the dark night of the soul. It is necessary to point out that nothing is very clear, because those mysteries are not given to the human being. After the meeting ending, a baby crying was heard and life began.

The childhood is a period of discovery and finding the self. In this period, the family has got a primordial role in the formation of each individual. The parents have the duty of being the moral foundation necessary to make just and good persons. Still talking about the childhood, it is also at this stage that the extra-sensory phenomena are at their sharpest. Particularly, my visions reveal some of those moments: The vampire of the haunted house, the woman that rises from the ground to frighten, the dead person asking for help to find so desired light, amongst other moments. In each of those situations appears the despair of the unexplainable and the questions that seem never stopping. Are we alone in the Universe? The door between the two worlds is it really closed? Who had the answers to these questions could write marvellous books.

Yet the adolescence and adult phase are the most adequate times for solidifying the concepts acquired in childhood. In my case, it is also the phase of doubts and hope, in general and particular. A dream appears: Aiming to be a writer. It starts with a simple collection of biblical passages of the books of Ecclesiastes, knowledge and proverbs. Sometime later, the crisis come and the vision of a medium appears. Soon after, came unemployment and the start of the dark night of the soul. At this moment, the circle breaks up and I come in contact with all that was bad for me and that made me believe that I was not a worthy being. The shadows of the dark night got stronger and the voices convict me of something I did not have control of and it was absolutely not my fault. I rebel and shout loudly: I am also son of God! With this attitude, the vision of the dark night disappear and I feel better.

Then I begin to see my trajectory that drives me to this day. I leave home, happy with the last string of hope to see my dream come true. Searching for the dream, I arrive at Mimoso, climb the mountain Ororuba and reach the top, meet the guardian lady, the ghost, the youth and the little boy; I accomplish challenges and finally I enter the dangerous cave of despair, the cave capable of realizing the deepest dreams. Inside it, avoiding traps and passing the scenes, I finally arrive, with great effort at a secret room, where I became the seer, a special and super-gifted being, able to understand the most troubled hearts. Almost ready, I leave the cave and there it starts an unimaginable adventure on the timeline. My objective in the journey was to put right injustices, help someone to find himself and getting together the opposing forces. The result of all that is a book with the same name. After having seen all that, the sequence of the visions breaks down and again the dark night gets closer, and with that, the circle of light reappears in me and leads me to run through the future without seeing it clearly. Quickly, I get to the end of the line, I die, go to judgement, and the dark night remains around me. In the audience, the night lays claim to possess me in account of all my past actions. The judge listen to the arguments and I remain in expectation. A moment later, an abyss open under my feet and I am sucked fiercely into it. I begin to fall very fast in a time interval that seems an eternity. When I am almost at the bottom, I am caught by strong hands and arms. I quickly look to the being that saved me, and it is an angel with beautiful wings. On its face it is written: Repentance. We go back the same way and the dark night no longer has any power over me. A while later I arrive in Heaven and I am going to live in the company of the most evolved beings of the Universe, working with them to maintain the miracle of life. And so, a new phase begins.

A new day appears: the birds sing, the sun appears and the morning breeze envelops all my body and awakes me in this mystic atmosphere that is the sacred mountain. At this exact moment, I think of the night before, concluding that it was a night to forget, because did not bring back good memories, due to the fact that the ground was hard and the unusual dream that I had. What did the mountain expect from me? I think that it is a relentless will to win on a subject that I proposed to learn more about it and thus evolve. Trying to gather the necessary strength for that, I get up, have a stretch, have breakfast and see nothing more nothing less than the mountain’s guardian lady. Our eyes meet and in a quick assessment I realize that she looks younger than the last time we met each other. I then decide to start a conversation.

— Guardian lady?! Is it really you my lady? I was desperately looking for you.