Catherine O'Connor - On Equal Terms

‘Kate, this is one point I refuse to argue about.’ Sebastian’s gaze narrowed on her militant expression. ‘I am not going to repeat this at every meal. I don’t know what the hell you’ve been doing with yourself but you look a mess. You’ve lost weight, and before you see your father you’ll have to look a damn sight better.’ He paused for a second to place a silencing finger on Kate’s lips as her mouth opened, ready to protest again. He continued, his eyes warning her to be silent, ‘So each and every meal which is served I expect you to eat—all of it. Understood?’ he pronounced sternly.

Kate’s protests died on her lips when she saw the uncompromising look that was carved on Sebastian’s face. She knew that, as far as he was concerned, there was going to be no more discussion on this matter; he was determined.

‘The longest Daddy’s ever away is a few days. I can hardly eat that much in such a short space of time that it could make any difference…’ she tried once more, her argument going off on a tangent, but Sebastian cut in forcefully.

‘He’s not here. Our parents are in Kenya…’

‘At this time of year?’ she asked after a while, slightly puzzled. She took a mouthful of hot coffee and was about to launch into a million questions, but the bed sank with the weight of Sebastian’s body as he sat down. There was something in his expression, a seriousness that shone in his eyes, that caused a sudden whirl of panic to surge through Kate.

‘What is it?’ she demanded as she struggled to keep the strain from her voice.

He took a slow, deep breath, while Kate waited.

‘Your father has been ill. They’ve gone to the villa for an extended holiday to help in his recuperation.’ His voice was clinical. He could have been reading the news, not informing her that her father was seriously ill. It was well-known that Howard Peterson was a workaholic, who never took holidays unless forced to and even then work was never that far away. Kate tried to comprehend what Sebastian had just told her. It couldn’t possibly be true. Her father was a strong, vital man; he had never been ill in his life.

‘Why are you saying this?’ she accused Sebastian, wanting so much for it to be a cruel trick on his part. Her eyes searched his face, hoping and waiting for his denial, but none came.

‘I’m sorry, Kate, there was no easy way of telling you. I know it’s a shock…’ His voice now held little comfort.

‘What happened? What’s wrong with him?’ She didn’t care now about appearances; she was not going to hide her emotions. She couldn’t; they were far too strong. Her hand reached out, grasping Sebastian’s arm tightly. ‘What happened?’ she demanded again. ‘Tell me what’s wrong. You should have told me sooner, at once…’

‘I’ve told you now because I feel you’re strong enough. I wasn’t sure before that you were ready for the news,’ Sebastian said quietly.

‘You had no right to keep this information from me. He’s my father,’ Kate shouted with sudden possessiveness. Sebastian shrugged his arm free of her grip with a sudden jerk, and Kate’s hand dropped limply on to the bed. His eyes raked over her with derision.

‘So the prodigal daughter is now concerned?’ he mocked her. ‘A little too late to play the dutiful child, aren’t we?’ he scoffed. Kate flinched at his tone. She sat stunned, in silence.

‘Tell me what’s wrong with my father,’ she persisted, ignoring Sebastian’s contempt.

‘Why the sudden interest, Kate? Feeling guilty?’ Sebastian almost sneered. Kate felt suddenly leaden; surely he was not blaming her for her father’s illhealth?

‘For God’s sake, Sebastian, tell me,’ she urged, her voice hoarse with emotion.

‘He had a heart attack,’ Sebastian said simply, but Kate heard the crack in his voice and knew then that he too was concerned.

She sat, struggling to accept the idea. Finally, she whispered, ‘When?’

Sebastian looked directly at her as he heard the unspent emotion in her voice.

‘Three months ago…’

‘Three months? I should have—’ Kate began, but Sebastian was in no mood to give any quarter.

‘Yes, you should have been here, and had you been he might have recovered. As it is…’ His voice trailed away, leaving Kate in turmoil.

‘What is it?’

‘He’s not making the recovery he should. Progress has been slow, hence the holiday,’ he told her coolly.

‘Thank God you came when I had that accident, otherwise I might never have found out,’ Kate breathed, with some measure of relief.

‘You don’t honestly believe I came to the hospital out of concern for you ?’ Sebastian said evenly. ‘I saw the effect your absence was having on him. Despite your appalling behaviour, he actually still loves you.’

Kate listened, horrified. She had wanted so much to make amends to her father but he had refused to accept her offers of reconciliation. Surely Sebastian knew that any ill-feeling was all on her father’s side?

‘You don’t understand…’ she protested, hurt and anger vying for supremacy as she caught the flash of scorn in his eyes.

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