Laurie Graham - The Future Homemakers of America

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Filled with warmth, wit and wisdom, ‘The Future Homemakers of America’ takes us to the heart of female friendship. A novel fans of ‘Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood’ will not be able to resist.Norfolk,1953. The Fens have never seen anything quite like the girls from USAF Drampton. Overpaid, overfed and over here.While their men patrol the skies keeping the Soviets at bay, some are content to live the life of the Future Homemakers of America – clipping coupons, cooking chicken pot pie – but other start to stray, looking for a little native excitement beyond the perimeter fence. Out there in the freezing fens they meet Kath Pharaoh, a tough but warm Englishwoman. Bonds are forged, uniting the women in friendship that will survive distant postings, and the passage of forty years.

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I said, ‘I can’t hardly wait.’ I looked her in the eye. I said, ‘Herb happy? About the baby?’

‘Herb’s always happy,’ she said, making herself a pillow out of sweaters.

I said, ‘Then you’re a lucky woman.’

She missed a beat. Then she propped herself up on her elbow. ‘Meaning?’ she said.

I hadn’t realised till then how a thought, once you have thought it, can never be laid to rest. It may lay low, but any time it can pop right up again, put certain words in your mouth. ‘Meaning nothing,’ I said, but I was blushing at what I had remembered, and she saw.

‘Right,’ she said. ‘Anyway, four weeks and I’m outta here.’ She was going back to Astoria, Queens, staying with her cousin Irene till her time come. ‘Back to the world, Peg!’ she said. ‘Root-beer floats, yellow cabs, the Coney Island Steeple Chase…’

I said, ‘You are going on a ride in your condition?’

‘Well…no,’ she said.

I said, ‘And I thought Irene had roaches?’

‘Okay, roaches,’ she said. ‘But what about egg creams? I bid vanilla egg creams against roaches.’

I said, ‘I guess there’s no point mentioning crime, vermin and high humidity?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘’Cause I’ll just come right back at you with hot corned beef and Radio City Music Hall.’

I said, ‘It must be real hard to drag yourself away from us.’

She was quiet. I could see the gang coming back from the puppet show.

Kath and Gayle were showing off, seeing who could walk on their hands the longest time. That was something I never could get the hang of.

‘Well, I’m gonna miss you, Lo,’ I said, after a time.

She turned away from me, but she grabbed my hand and took it with her. ‘Gonna miss you too,’ she said. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said Lois Moon had a tear in her eye.

Somebody sighted the sea about two in the afternoon. It was just a strip of silver, far across the sands, but we set off to get a closer look at it. Betty stayed behind with her knitting and Lois was asleep. Kath carried Sandie on her shoulders.

‘Lois’ll have her work cut out,’ she said, ‘after that little baby comes along. I could give her a hand. When I’m not at the singling, I could push that little baby out in its pram, sit this one on the top. Give her five minutes.’

I said, ‘She won’t be here, Kath. She’s going back Stateside to have her baby. Then the boys’ll get orders, some time in the fall, and we’ll be gone too.’ I heard my words fall, ruining her plans.

‘Oh yes,’ she said, ‘that’s right. I remember that, now.’

Audrey was first to the water’s edge.

‘Excuse me,’ she said, ‘I was looking for the rocky shore that beats back the envious siege of watery Neptune? Is that anywhere hereabouts?’ Miss Scholastic Quiz Kid.

That North Sea Ocean or whatever it was called was just creeping across the sand like it could hardly be bothered.

‘Is that it, then?’ Kath said. ‘That’s nothing much, is it? The way Harold Jex spoke, I thought that’d be something worth seeing.’

The lagoon at Matagorda was the only thing I had to measure it by, but Audrey said it was a real apology for a shoreline. Still, I liked the smell of it. I liked the cool wet sand under my feet. Crystal was fascinated with some little squiggly lines she found. Audrey said they were worm-casts. Then Gayle showed Sherry how to walk on her hands, so Crystal had to have a go at that too. Kath held her legs in the air, till she found her balance, then she was off, her and Sherry giggling at what we looked like upside down.

Kath said to Deana, ‘You want a try?’

Deana said, ‘No. We’re not allowed. And if Sherry gets sick, then there’ll be trouble.’

There was a band playing on the promenade and a little carousel we all rode on, and a stand selling crab claws. We just had so much fun. Looking back, years later, I realised that day was the last time ever we were together, all six of us.

Lois had been improved by her nap. One side of her nose was sunburned, but she was smiling again, walking arm in arm with me and Kath. ‘Find me some cotton candy,’ she said, ‘and I’ll make believe I’m at Coney Island.’ She started singing ‘On the Good Ship Lollipop’, and some old bubba sitting on a bench took exception to it.

The English don’t care for high levels of noise. One of the first things I learned about them was, they never speak out loud and clear, and they don’t like it if others do neither.

‘Why don’t you stop your caterwauling and git back where you belong?’ he said.

‘Any day now,’ Lois shouted back to him. ‘Soon as our brave boys have blown those Russkies outta your back yard. And I wonder how long it’ll be till you need us the next time?’

‘Ruddy Yanks,’ he shouted. He was waving his stick at her. ‘Clear off where you come from!’

‘Our pleasure, y’old tight-ass.’ Lois loved a fight. ‘Think we like being in this mouseshit country of yours?’

Betty was trying to get the kids into the cars, Deana and Sherry playing up because they didn’t want to ride with her, Crystal snivelling because Sandie had gotten taffy on her rabbit mitts.

Lois had to have the last word, of course. ‘And another thing,’ she shouted. ‘You call that an ocean ?’

I offered to drive in front, knowing what a old lady Betty could be when she got behind a wheel, dithering at every turn she come to, but she insisted she wanted to lead the way. And when I seen her taking that right turn when she should have kept straight ahead, I did my best to stop her. Flashed my beams, got Audrey to lean out and wave her arms around, but she wouldn’t be stopped and, even when she knew she’d gone wrong, she still kept going, thought she could cut across country and make good instead of turning back, till we ended up in a barnyard.

She blamed me, of course. Said I’d flustered her, signalling an’ all. She also blamed Lois for upsetting everybody with that ugly scene and Audrey for looking smug, like she never took a wrong turn in her life.

‘Hey,’ Lois said. ‘How about Gayle? You ain’t blamed her for anything yet. And Kath here. This some kinda discrimination? And you ain’t even mentioned General MacArthur.’

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