Robyn Carr - The Life She Wants

“We wouldn’t trust each other anyway...”

He laughed. “It’s been over fifteen years. You don’t have to trust her. Who cares if you trust her? You don’t even have to like her. But when you think about things, you’ll figure out she was never your enemy.”

“She wasn’t exactly my friend!”

“If she’d been a better friend, maybe you could’ve married Jock. I’m sure that would’ve been great.”

“Compared to who I did marry? Might’ve been, yeah! At least it wouldn’t have been Richard. But determined to have a better life than the one I left behind, I—” She paused for a moment. “All right, all right,” she said. “Don’t think I haven’t looked at it from that angle. But please, don’t get ideas about reuniting us.”

He put up his hands, palms toward her. “Heaven help me.” He took a sip of his wine. “The truth? I wish the two of you could make amends. You were always stronger together than apart. I refuse to believe you still mourn the loss of Jock. It just seems that now, after everything, staying mad at my sister wouldn’t be very high on your list of priorities.”

After what she’d been through with Richard, there was a part of her that wished she’d married Jock, let him ruin her life, that she’d never left California, never met Richard. She shook her head. “That’s certainly true—my priorities are completely different now. And I don’t really think of our situation as a feud. I’m sure if we ran into each other we’d be perfectly cordial. Even friendly. But the days of slumber parties are over. I have to get on my feet. I didn’t think I’d start off with a great job, but I thought I’d get a decent job, even after not working for nine years. I have a degree. With my experience, I could make a damn good concierge or event planner. Turns out that even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I also have a shady past by association. Even though I wasn’t arrested, people don’t trust me. They’re afraid I was his partner in crime. After all, he had several employees who rolled over on him, took deals to testify. People suspect me, think I didn’t testify because I was protecting him. I didn’t testify because I had nothing relevant to say. Let that be a lesson to you, Adam. Don’t hang around with felons. Sitting in the courtroom while they’re being tried might help them, but it won’t do much for you.”

“Why’d you come back, Emmie?” he asked. “I thought you’d disappear and we’d never see you again.”

“I had nowhere to go,” she said. “Oh, I thought about going somewhere I could be unknown but you know what? Someone’s going to figure me out eventually and then it’ll only be worse. I will have added deception to suspicion. Besides, my credentials are in my name! And I couldn’t stay back there. I was a leper. Not only couldn’t I even get a job with McBurger back east, there were also hostile people who wanted revenge on me just for being associated with Richard. I was in hiding for months. Around here I’ve found some resistance, but I did manage to get a job. A small job, but a job. Maybe when people see I’m a hard worker, it’ll ease up. I’m a little afraid to think about how long that might take.” She took a sip of her wine. “I have to admit, I didn’t think it would be this hard. Have you ever tried to make it on minimum wage?”

He just gave her a wan smile. Of course he had. When they’d moved to town, June had worked two jobs—cleaning houses and waitressing. She worked all the time. Emma remembered when June soaked her feet at the end of a long day, so sore, so weary. And that after just losing her husband.

“How’d you end up with Richard Compton?” he asked.

“Oh, the usual way. I met him when I was out with friends. In a restaurant. I was in the bar with my girlfriends and he was having dinner with clients. We had a nice conversation. He was clearly interested, which was flattering. He asked for my number and I wouldn’t give it to him. I took his business card but he intimidated me, so I didn’t plan to call him. A few weeks later he showed up in the store where I worked—he’d been back at that restaurant and one of my friends told him where I worked. I made him work really hard for a date, but honestly? I was completely smitten. Richard was very handsome, very classy. So charming. You don’t weasel people out of a hundred million dollars by being an asshole. He could charm the pants off anyone.

“I didn’t know how rich my husband was when I married him. I mean, I knew he was successful and lived well, but I didn’t know much more than that. I certainly didn’t know he was getting rich illegally. Had I known, do you think I could have stayed with him? But it’s not like I ever saw a tax return. I didn’t have a key to a safe-deposit box or anything. I didn’t know there was a safe in his study. I guess because there was another larger and visible safe, the police never expected it, either. It was hidden behind a bookcase. Richard was not what you’d call transparent.”

Adam frowned. “Didn’t you sign the tax return?”

She shook her head. “We filed separate returns—Richard took care of it. There was a prenup, a generous prenup that would settle me with more money than I’d ever know what to do with. Of course I came to understand about his wealth, that he could afford almost anything. He never questioned what I needed.”

In vitro, Emma? What the hell. Knock yourself out.

But, Richard, you’ll have to have a few tests...

No problem. I’ll schedule us with the best doctor in the city.

“This is a whole new world,” she said. “No one is going to pity me, learning how to live on two hundred a week after nine years with a Manhattan apartment and a vacation home in the islands. But... Well. Once I get a second job or a decent first job, things should be easier.”

Adam smiled at her. “I’ll keep my eyes open,” he promised. “If you find something around here and need a strong letter of recommendation...”

“You’re going to say you’re pretty sure I’m not a bad person?” she asked.

“I’ll say I’ve known you almost my whole life and have always known you to be strong, smart, honest and reliable.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and withdrew a card. He wrote something on the back and handed it to her. “My cell number. I don’t very often find myself at the Burger Bomb in south Santa Rosa. Call anytime.”

She turned it over and saw it was a business card. Kerrigan Cleaning Services. Industrial, business, residential. Riley Kerrigan, President and CEO.

Emma looked up into his eyes with a question.

“The work is hard but she pays over minimum wage and promotes from within the company. She’s a good leader.” He shrugged. “If desperation for rent and food ever take precedence over bad feelings about the past.”

“Never gonna happen, Adam,” she said, handing back the card.

He closed his hand around hers, refusing to take it. “The first thing you’re going to have to learn about scrabbling to get back on your feet—never turn your nose up at an opportunity. Especially for pride’s sake.”

“You’re reading me all wrong,” she said. “I don’t have any pride left. But I do have to protect myself in the clinches.”

“As you should. And know this—my sister has done a lot for women, women like you who are trying to get on their feet, start over, build a functional life and their self-esteem, usually out of the ruins of divorce or being widowed.”

“You’re proud of her,” she said.

“Oh, yes. Riley amazes me. Keep the card. It has my number on the back.”

She slid it into her purse, thinking it would be a cold day in hell before she’d ask Riley Kerrigan for help.