Terri Reed - Love Comes Home and A Sheltering Love - Love Comes Home / A Sheltering Love

They arrived at the hotel and Josh cut the engine. He shifted on the seat to face her, his arm stretching across the back of the seat, his big body leaning close. The tips of his fingers made little swirls on the top of her shoulder, setting off little sparks through her bloodstream. The light coming from the moon bathed his ruggedly handsome face in a soft glow, but couldn’t disguise the magnetic pull of his eyes. She clenched her fist to keep from reaching for him.

“I have to go to the station tomorrow but I’ll come back to help you at Mrs. G.’s as soon as I can.”

“That’s not necessary.” It wasn’t a good idea to keep seeing him when she knew it would only make leaving harder.

“I know it’s not. But I want to.” The husky timbre of his voice slid along her limbs like a smooth caress.

“What are we doing, Josh?” she asked, hoping to bring some perspective into the intimate atmosphere surrounding them.

His fingers stopped. He drew back slightly. “I don’t know. Taunting disaster?”

“I’d say so,” she whispered, striving for calmness when her heart was beating wildly.

His mouth quirked up in a self-effacing way as he stared out the front window for a heartbeat. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

He climbed out and came around the truck to open her door. As she slid out, his arm encircled her waist, drawing her up against the length of his solid body. She tipped her head and the smoldering blaze she saw in his gaze ignited an answering flame inside.

She felt exposed, vulnerable to the attraction coursing through her. But it was so much more than purely physical and it scared her because any way she examined it, they had no future together. Giving in to this thing arcing between them would only spawn more regret and heartache. She deliberately shut down her feelings and pulled away from him.

On unsteady legs she moved up the stairs of her unit and unlocked and opened the door. She turned to say good-night, expecting he’d be where she’d left him by the truck, but found herself staring at his broad chest. She quickly stepped inside, keeping the threshold between them.

“It’s best if you don’t come tomorrow, Josh.”

A look of implacable determination settled on his face. “Sleep well, Rachel. And I will see you tomorrow.”

She watched him stride away and climb back into his truck.

“Sleep well?” she muttered as she closed the door and listened to him drive away. He might as well have told her she could perform surgery with her arms tied behind her back.

Josh drove home on autopilot. He was all tied up inside. Hanging out at Jennifer and Paul’s with Rachel at his side—as if they were a couple, a family—had felt right and natural. He’d liked it way too much. He’d let it go to his head. Let his guard down and had been tempted to act on the attraction building between him and Rachel.

She’d relaxed a bit tonight, as she had earlier at the ice cream parlor. When she wasn’t all frosty and controlled, he really liked her.

But liking her and letting himself fall for her were two very different things. He was grateful she’d turned on the ice and reminded him how painful freezer burn could be. He’d be more careful in the future. He had a promise to fulfill, and as long as she was within his reach he’d do what he could to take care of her. But that’s as far as he could let it go without costing him his heart.

Rachel wiped perspiration from her brow with the corner of her oversize T-shirt and surveyed the pile of boxes filling the back of Mom G.’s car. Driving again had felt strange after living in a city where she utilized public transportation every day. She made a mental note to contact Pastor Larkin and see if he knew of a family in need to whom she could donate Mom G.’s car.

“That should do it,” she told the grocery clerk who’d come out to help.

“All right, you have a good day. And if you need any more boxes, you’re welcome to come back and get them.” The young man smiled and disappeared back into the grocery store.

She closed the back hatch and moved around Mom G.’s station wagon to the driver’s side. Thankfully she’d left the windows down. The high sun raged like an inferno, letting everyone know that summer had officially arrived in the Sierras.

Driving along the pine-tree-lined streets, seeing the houses of those she’d once called neighbors, Rachel shrugged off the feeling of isolation. This wasn’t her life and this wasn’t how she wanted to live. But as she pulled into the driveway of Mom G.’s ranch-style house, a wave of loneliness swept through her and she realized with a start that the sensation was all too familiar.

She felt the loneliness at night when she headed home from the hospital, she felt it on Sundays when she attended her church in Chicago and saw families sitting in the pews. She felt it every time she left Josh and Griff.

She was lonely. There, she’d admitted it. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Not now, not until she returned to Chicago. Then she’d be able to formulate a plan on how to end her loneliness. Maybe a dog or cat would help.

After dragging the boxes into the stuffy, closed-up house, she faced the task of sorting through all of Mom G.’s items and packing what she wanted to ship to Chicago. The rest would be donated to Goodwill. Forcing her tears away, she walked through the house, and with each step, with every effort to keep grief from overtaking her, the numbness returned.

“Might as well start in the family room,” she muttered, wanting to work up to the rooms that would be more emotionally difficult to face.

As she worked, her mind kept turning to Josh.

His steady strength appealed to her. Even when his overbearing behavior grated on her nerves, she found him compelling. Found comfort in his presence and in his sense of duty and honor. He was a man worth admiring. Worth loving. If only…

She ached for his loss, ached that he grieved for the wife he’d obviously loved. Would Andrea always hold his heart? Or would he heal from her death someday and try to love again? What would it be like to be really loved by Josh, to have his stoic presence filling her life, balancing the irregularity of the E.R. with his unwavering strength?

Shaking her head at her own foolishness, she chided herself for thinking of Josh in terms of the future. His life was here—raising his son, working for the forestry service. Her life was across the country where her newest ideas in triage treatment were waiting to be implemented.

She reached for a platter from the cupboard and paused, remembering with vivid clarity the look in Josh’s eyes the night before. He’d looked at her with such yearning and need. As if he wanted the relaxed and intimate atmosphere that had enveloped their time together to continue. As if somehow the past didn’t matter, only the present. As if he could finally accept her for who she was. As if—

She slammed her thoughts down. Getting caught up in the moment was foolish. For both of them. Josh would never accept her for who she was. He would never accept that medicine was important to her and he would never leave Sonora. Allowing even a brief hope that somehow they could make a life together was beyond absurd.

She forced herself to concentrate on the job at hand. She moved with renewed purpose, her mind so focused that at first she thought a loud pounding on the door was merely an echo of the pounding in her head. She started out of her single-minded drive to get the job done. Hours had passed and dusk had fallen, creating shadows along the walls. She made her way through the house turning on lights as she went. She peered out the peephole and froze.

Josh.

If she didn’t answer the door, would he go away?