Diane Chamberlain - Secrets She Left Behind

I stared at the meat counter for a long time. I’d had steak maybe four times in my life, and my mouth actually watered, staring at it. I wasn’t even sure how you cooked it. We had this old charcoal grill, but you needed lighter fluid to grill stuff. Just the thought of spraying the coals with lighter fluid and tossing a match on them made me hyperventilate. I was never going to be one of those guys who got his rocks off cooking things on a grill.

I looked up from the meat counter to see this old lady. She was holding a package of ground beef, and she was staring at me. At my face. I’d let down my guard while I was salivating over the steak.

“What are you lookin’ at?” I asked, shoving my cart past her. I had to get out of there.

I whipped down the first aisle I came to. Canned chili was on sale and I tossed four cans in my cart. Then I saw some rice, which was cheap and had directions on the back, so I couldn’t screw it up. That was enough. I headed for the checkout, wishing I could just steal the stuff and not have to face a checker and count out money and everything. I had twenty dollars in my pocket. What if I had more than twenty dollars’ worth in the cart? Crap.

I spotted boxes of chocolate-covered doughnuts at the end of the cereal aisle for half price. A lot cheaper than cereal. My mother never bought doughnuts, but they looked good. I reached toward one of the boxes.

“I can’t resist them either.”

I looked up to see this totally, totally hot girl smiling at me.

I lowered my head again, fast. “’ Scuse me,” I said, trying to push my cart past her, but her cart sort of had me blocked in. Shit. I started moving backward to get around her.

“Aren’t you going to get the doughnuts?” she asked. Like, what the hell did she care?

“Oh. Right.” I grabbed one of the boxes.

“They’re so yummy,” she said.

I turned my head so the right side of my face was toward her. “Yeah,” I said. I hoped it seemed natural for me to talk to her with my head turned, but it probably just made me look weird. Whatever.

“I totally love Entenmann’s,” she said, and it took me a minute to realize she was talking about the brand. “You put those doughnuts and chocolate together, and I’m powerless.” She looked like she’d never eat a speck of chocolate or anything else that could pack on the pounds, but she was skinny in a good way. Not like one of those anorexic actresses. She had small breasts, the way I liked them, and an inch of flat stomach between her white top and brown pants. Those pants fit her like the chocolate coated the doughnuts. She still had a tan and I could picture her on the beach in a string bikini. Her hair was nearly black and her eyes blue and—Oh, shit! I’d let down my guard again. Turned my head toward her while I was salivating over her. She was still smiling, though. I slipped my bad left hand into my pocket.

“You don’t look like you indulge.” That was out of my mouth before I thought about it. It was the kind of thing I would’ve said to a girl before the fire.

“Well, like I said, chocolate’s my weakness.”

I took my hand out of my pocket long enough to flip open the doughnut box and offer her one. “Your only weakness?” I asked. Whoa. All the way, dude. I felt my smile freeze on my face, waiting for the rejection.

She laughed. Reached for a doughnut. “I’ve got others,” she said. “How about you?”

Was she blind? “Too many to count,” I said.

“So.” She nibbled the doughnut. Licked the chocolate from her lips. “What’re you buying today?” She leaned on my cart to peer inside. Her top wasn’t all that low-cut, but I liked what I could see.

“Shopping cheap,” I said.

“I’m the queen of shopping cheap.” She picked up one of the cans of chili. “Need a little nutrition here, though,” she said.

“That’s good protein,” I said.

“Need some veggies. And fruit.”

“Too expensive.”

“Uh-uh,” she said. “Come with me.”

I followed her, both of us pushing our carts, back to the place where all the fresh stuff was. Her ass was perfectamundo. I had her undressed, legs wrapped around me in a death grip, by the time we reached the apples.

“What do you like?” she asked.

I looked at the stacks of vegetables. “Asparagus,” I said.

“Okay, that is too expensive. How about spinach?”

“I don’t know how to cook it.”

“Just zap it in a little water in the microwave. Covered. Not with plastic, though. That’s toxic. Just stick a paper towel over it. But wash it real well first.” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s gritty.”

It sounded like too much work, but I didn’t complain when she picked up a bag of spinach and handed it to me.

We went through the stacks of fruit and she put a few things in my cart, a few in hers. I started feeling weird. She was being way too sweet, like Dawn or somebody hired her to be nice to me. Something felt off about the whole thing.

“So where do you live?” she asked.

“Surf City.”

“Really? I’m staying in Topsail Beach.”

We were practically neighbors. “Why are you shopping way out here?”

“On my way from an appointment,” she said. “How about you?”

“Same,” I lied.

“Listen—” she suddenly stopped her cart in front of the eggs “—I’m from Asheville and I don’t know people around here. How about I cook you something tonight? Make you dinner?”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have many friends here,” she said. “Like none, really.”

“I don’t think so, thanks.” The old me would have given anything for a few hours with a babe like her.

“Oh, come on. Please?” she said. “I don’t usually have to beg guys to spend time with me.”

She didn’t have friends in Topsail, so I’d do for now. Then she’d meet some good-lookin’ dude and sayonara Keith. I could skip the pain. I had bigger things on my mind, anyhow.

“Thanks. I’m just not in a great place right now.”

She tipped her head to one side. “Excuse me for prying,” she said, “but were you one of the people in that fire I heard about?”

I looked away. “Depends on what fire you heard about.” I sounded mean.

“Sorry,” she said. “That was way too personal.”

“No, it’s okay. Yeah. The lock-in fire.”

“You’re still really good-looking,” she said. “I don’t think you know that, but I mean it.”

Oh, man, did I want to believe her, but I had a mirror in the trailer. I knew the truth. What the hell was her game?

“Going through something like that…like a fire and all the recovery and stuff. It’s got to be hard.”

“I really gotta check out.” I started to push my cart past hers.

“I did this all wrong,” she said.

I stopped walking. Couldn’t help myself. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“I came on too strong. Made you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.”

“See? I did it again.”

“Don’t give yourself so much credit.” I started pushing my cart again. “You’re not all that powerful.”

She grabbed the corner of my cart. “I’ve been hurt, too.” She had the kind of blue eyes you could go swimming in. “Only difference is my scars are on the inside,” she said. “But I know what it’s like.”

“You don’t have a fucking clue.”

Her cheeks turned red. “All right,” she said. “Sorry I upset you.” She let go of my cart and began pushing her own away. Why was I being such a prick? She scared me. She could look right at my face and not freak, and that just seemed too damn weird.

“Wait,” I said.

She turned around. Her hair swept through the air like she was in a shampoo commercial. “Sorry,” I said. “You can cook me something. Not tonight, though. I feel like crap today.” Not really the truth. I was nicely medicated, but I needed some time to adjust to a girl like her being interested in me.