Barbara Delinsky - The Family Tree

‘Gram sent him for ice.’

‘Ah. I’ll bet you’re starting to need it. Oh, and look at this baby, rooting around. She’s hungry.’

Dana’s breasts were larger than they had been pre-pregnancy, though no larger now than last week or the week before. ‘Do I do it this early?’

‘Oh yeah. She isn’t starving for milk yet, and you have colostrum.’

Dana opened her gown. Tara showed her how to hold the baby so that she could latch on, but it took several minutes of manipulating Dana’s nipple before they finally managed, and then, Dana was stunned by the strength of the sucking. ‘How does she know what to do?’

Tara didn’t answer, because Hugh had returned, and what with her hugging him and Ellie Jo trying to position the ice, the question was forgotten. All too soon, though, Dana’s two favorite women left to go to work, and she was alone again with Hugh.

‘Is she drinking?’ he asked, looking on with interest, and for a minute, Dana imagined that he had moved past his parents’ ill will.

‘She’s going through the motions. I don’t know how much she’s getting.’

‘She’s getting what she needs,’ came a voice behind Hugh. It was the lactation specialist, introducing herself and looking on, then pulling and pushing at Dana’s breast. She asked a few questions, made a few suggestions, and left.

Dana put the baby to her shoulder and rubbed her back. When she didn’t hear a burp, she tried patting. She peered down at her daughter’s face, saw nothing to signal distress, and returned to rubbing.

‘So,’ Hugh asked with undue nonchalance, ‘what did Ellie Jo say?’

It was an innocent question, but there were other things he might have said. Discouraged and suddenly excruciatingly tired, Dana said, ‘She’s as startled as we are.’

‘Does she have any idea where the color is from?’

‘She isn’t a geneticist.’

‘No suspicions?’

‘None.’

‘Suggestions?’

Dana wanted to cry. ‘About what? How to lighten the baby’s skin?’

Hugh looked away and sighed wearily. ‘It’d be easier if we had a few answers.’

‘Easier to explain to your parents?’ Dana asked, knowing she sounded bitter. There was a … not a wall, exactly, but something separating them. Before, they had always been in sync.

His eyes were dark and, yes, distant. ‘Easier to explain to your friends?’ Dana asked. ‘Easier for your parents to explain to their friends?’

‘All of the above,’ he admitted. ‘Listen. Here are the facts. White couple has black baby. It isn’t your average, run-of-the-mill event. People will ask questions.’

‘Do we have to give them answers? Let them think what they want.’

‘Oh, they will. Their first thought will be my mother’s – that there was a mix-up in the lab.’

‘What lab?’

‘Right. I told her that, even though it was none of her business. But she won’t be the last to wonder.’

‘Would it matter if we’d had help conceiving?’

‘That’s not the point. I just don’t like people speculating about my personal life, and they will as long as there’s reason to speculate. So.’ He raised three fingers. ‘First guess is in vitro.’ He folded a finger. ‘Second is a relative with African roots.’ Another finger lowered. ‘Know what the third is?’ He dropped his hand. ‘She isn’t mine.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘She isn’t mine.’

Dana nearly laughed. ‘That’s ridiculous. No one will think that.’

‘My parents did.’

Her jaw dropped. ‘Are you kidding?’

‘No. And don’t knock that one, either. It’s a logical possibility.’ ‘ Logical? Your parents thought I had an affair ?’ She was appalled. ‘For God’s sake, Hugh.’

‘If my parents thought it, other people will.’

Dana was livid. ‘Only people who don’t know us. People who do, know that we’re happily married. They know we’re together every free minute.’

‘They also know I was in Philly for a month nine months ago trying a case.’

Dana was stunned. ‘Whoa!’

The baby whimpered in response.

‘Not me , Dee,’ Hugh said, but his eyes remained dark. ‘Not me. I’m only playing devil’s advocate. They’ll wonder, particularly since the baby came two weeks early.’

‘And you’ll tell them there isn’t a chance,’ Dana stated.

‘Do I know what happened while I was away in Philly?’

‘You sure know what happened the weekends in between.’

‘You could have done both.’

Dana was beside herself. ‘I can’t believe you’re saying this.’

‘I’m only saying what other people will.’

Dana peered at the baby’s face. It was scrunched up, ready to cry. Lifting her off her shoulder, she tried rocking her, but all the while she was growing more dismayed. ‘Would I be so dumb as to have an affair with an African American and try to pass his baby off as yours?’

‘Maybe you weren’t sure whose baby it was.’

‘Wait. That’s assuming I cheated on you.’

The baby’s cries grew louder.

‘Why’s she crying?’ Hugh asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Dana tried holding her closer, but it didn’t help. ‘Maybe she senses that I’m upset.’

‘Maybe she’s hungry.’

‘I just fed her.’

‘Your milk isn’t in yet. Maybe she needs formula.’

‘Hugh, I’ll have milk. I’ll have plenty of milk.’

‘Okay. Maybe she’s wet.’

That was a possibility. Dana looked around. ‘I don’t have anything. There must be something here.’

‘Where?’

‘I don’t know. Call the nurse.’

‘I’ll get the nurse,’ Hugh said. ‘She should be here, anyway. Hell, if we wanted to do this alone, we would have checked into the Ritz.’ He went out the door.

Given the speed with which he returned, Dana suspected the nurse had been on her way. Soft-spoken and reassuring, she took the baby and set her in the crib. Opening one drawer after another underneath, she pointed out Pampers, ointment, baby wipes, burp pads, and other goodies.

The baby cried louder when her bottom was bared, but the nurse calmly showed them how to clean, apply ointment, and rediaper her. She showed them how to support the baby’s head and talked about care of the umbilical cord.

When the nurse left, Hugh stood at the crib, his back straight in a way that had CLARKE written all over it. Unfortunately, Dana was a Joseph. And this tiny, helpless baby, who was she?

4

Hugh stared at the baby for the longest time. He had always loved the fact that Dana bore no resemblance to his family, yet he was desperately searching for a familiar feature in his child. So was this his comeuppance for devaluing familial traits – fathering a baby who didn’t have any one of those traits?

Feeling a helpless tug, he leaned down over the infant. ‘Hey,’ he whispered. ‘Hey,’ he said again, this time with a smile.

Lizzie didn’t blink. She had remarkable eyes, Hugh decided – deep brown irises, delicate lids, long dark lashes. Her nose was small and perfectly formed. And, yes, she had the softest, smoothest skin. She really was a breathtakingly beautiful child. Reaching for his camera, he took a picture. Then he glanced at Dana.

Hugh loved his wife. He truly did. He loved her for many things, not the least being that she was genuinely laid-back. She didn’t get mired down in details the way he did. She didn’t have his compulsive need for order or logic or precedent. She went with the flow, could adapt to change with a smile and move on. He admired her for that.

At least, he always had. Now, as he looked at the baby again, Dana’s nonchalance suddenly seemed irresponsible. She should have made it her business to know who her father was. It would have made things a whole lot easier.