Heather Gudenkauf - These Things Hidden

“Allison,” my mother said, “tell them it’s all a big mistake.” Still I didn’t say anything. The officer asked me why there was a black bag full of bloody sheets stuffed into the garbage can in our garage. I didn’t answer. She asked me how I came to be nearly ripped in half, my breasts swollen and leaking milk.

“Allison. Tell them you didn’t do this,” my father ordered.

Finally, I spoke. “I think I need a lawyer.”

The detective shrugged her shoulders. “That’s probably a good idea. We found the placenta.” I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands. They were puffy and swollen; they didn’t look like they belonged to me. “Inside a pillow case at the bottom of a trash bag.” She turned to look at my father. “In your trash can. Call your lawyer.” As she was leaving my hospital room, she turned back to me and said softly, “Did she cry, Allison? Did your baby cry when you threw her in the water?”

“Get out!” my mother screeched, so unlike her usual composed, proper self. “Get out of here, you have no right. You have no right to come in here and accuse and upset us like this!”

“Huh,” the detective said, nodding in my direction as she moved toward the door. “She doesn’t look so upset.”

Gus is fading quickly. “Where’s the baby?” he asks Charm when she comes home from the hospital.

“He’s safe,” she reassures him. “Remember, he’s with that nice family now? They are taking good care of him.”

Charm hears a rap at the front door. She lifts the pot of mashed potatoes from the stove top and goes to the door. Jane stands on the front steps, her black hair pulled back in a ponytail, carrying her bag of tricks, as she calls it.

“Hey, how’re you doing?” she asks as she steps into the house. “Fall is in the air.” She shivers slightly and Charm takes her coat from her.

“I know, and it’s only the end of August. We’re doing fine,” Charm responds. “Gus is in the other room watching television.”

“Ah, food for the mind.” She smiles.

Charm shrugs. “It helps pass the time.”

“How’s he doing?” Jane asks, her tone turning serious.

“He’s okay. Some days are better than others.”

“How about you? How’s school going? Are you juggling everything okay? It’s a lot of responsibility for a twenty-one-year-old to be going to school and taking care of an old man.”

“Hey, don’t call Gus old, it will hurt his feelings. We’re doing just fine,” Charm says, stiffening a little. She knows where Jane is heading with this. Jane brings up the subject of a hospital or skilled care facility nearly every time she comes to the house. “I call him three times a day and check up on him at lunch.”

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