Olivia Goldsmith - The Switch

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From the bestselling author of The First Wives Club and Bestseller, a witty social satire of love, marriage, and the games men and women play with each other.Sylvie knows she has a lot to be thankful for. So what if her husband, Bob, is only interested in what she has to say ‘in four words or less’? The kids are off to college, and she is sure her marriage is about to bloom again. In fact it has already, but not with her. When Sylvie confronts Bob’s mistress, she is amazed: except for a gap of ten years and fifteen pounds, Marla could be Sylvie’s twin. But while Sylvie wants passion and romance, Marla just wants a husband of her own.And so their scheme is hatched: a nip and tuck and some blonde highlights for Sylvie, some brown hair and a few extra pounds for Marla, and the women are ready to switch places. The result as they juggle their new lives and identities is hilarious and enlightening. But just how long can they keep their charade going, and will it all end in tears?

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OLIVIA GOLDSMITH

THE SWITCH

The Switch - изображение 1

Copyright

HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Published by HarperCollins Publishers 1998

First published in the USA by HarperCollins Publishers 1998

Copyright © Olivia Goldsmith 1998

The Author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

Source ISBN: 9780007361663

Ebook Edition © MAY 2015 ISBN: 9780007440238

Version: 2015-12-15

Dedication

Amy Fine Collins for helping with the idea

Cindy Adams

Paul Mahon for not being there when I needed him the most

Linda Grady for her continued support and comments

Richard Saperstein for getting it and buying it for New Line Cinema

Lenny Gartner for the islands, the support and the earrings

Marjorie Braman for the great edit and ‘Marjorie Moments’

Beaver Hall for the gnawing, lodging and tail slapping

Leonida Karpik for knowing how to sell my books

Anthea Disney for laughing at my jokes

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Part 1: Bait

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

Part 2: Switch

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

Part 3: Which?

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

Keep Reading

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Praise

Also by the Author

About the Publisher

Part 1

1

Sylvie stood for a moment in the cool, dark hallway. It was the only dim place in the house and, though Sylvie loved the light—in fact, had fallen in love with the house for its light—she always found the comparative darkness of the hall a welcome contrast. She told herself that she really had too much to do to stand still here, one hand on the simple carved mahogany of the banister. She put her thumb on the comforting place where the curve of the wood had been worn flat by years of other thumbs. You don’t have time to linger here, she told herself sternly. But despite her admonishment, just for a moment, she would enjoy this quiet. She listened to the tiny creaks the old house made and the comforting tick of the wall clock, then forced herself to pick up the cup of tea she’d left on the sideboard. The jasmine smell filled her head.

Sylvie began to walk down the hall but, as always, glanced first into the dining room, then the living room opposite before moving down the hall toward the music room. Oh, she loved her house. It wasn’t large by Shaker Heights standards—just a center-hall colonial with only three bedrooms. But visitors, once in it, were always surprised by the grand dimensions and dignity of the house. Each of the downstairs four rooms was exactly the same size: all of them were large, light, airy rooms with ten-foot ceilings and long, high windows. Bob, at one time, had suggested they sell the house and buy a bigger one, but Sylvie had been aghast and had steadfastly refused. She didn’t need a guest room—guests stayed next door at her mother’s or camped out on the music room sofa. She didn’t need a family room: all the rooms downstairs were for the family.

Sylvie knew how lucky she was, and she didn’t take her good fortune for granted. Bob sometimes laughed at her for her little habit of checking each room. “Do you think they’re going away?” he’d ask. Or “Are you looking for something?” he’d inquire. “Not for, at, ” she’d tell him. She was looking at her home, a place she had created slowly, over time, with Bob and the children. And she never wanted to be complacent about it.

Now Sylvie knew more surely than ever that she’d been right to not even consider selling the house. Perhaps in the old days they’d been the smallest bit cramped, but what would they do now with a larger place? Without the twins at home, the two bedrooms upstairs did stand empty, yet the rest of the house seemed to enfold and protect her. It was not a house too big for a couple, and perhaps someday when Sylvie was used to the idea that the children were gone she could turn one of their rooms upstairs into a proper guest room. Maybe she’d make a den for Bob out of the other. Then he wouldn’t have to leave his paperwork all over the desk in the corner of the dining room, though lately he hadn’t used it much, or at least kept it much neater than usual.

Sylvie moved down the hall to the music room, carrying her cup of tea before her as if the luminous white china could light her way like a lamp. She had only a few minutes before her first lesson and turned into the music room to see the usual organized clutter of sheet music, Schirmer’s Piano for New Students piled beside A Hundred Simple Piano Tunes and Chopin’s Sonatas. Her gray sweater lay across the bench of the Steinway, but nothing—ever—sat on its beautiful ebony lacquered top. Sylvie felt a little shiver of pleasure as she walked into the room. There was a touch of fall in the air and she closed one of the long windows. It was too early for a fire but, with the approach of autumn, she knew that soon the time she liked best in this room, the time when she gave lessons and played while apple wood burned in the grate behind her, was just ahead. Though she certainly missed the twins, this season was always a good time for her; September, when the children had begun school and she’d gone back to her full routine of piano lessons. It felt as if the year was beginning. Students returned from their summer holidays. Sylvie remembered that Jewish people actually celebrated their New Year about now. It made sense to her.

No reason to be sad, she told herself. No empty nest syndrome here, just because the children were no longer at Shaker Heights Elementary or Grover Cleveland High. Her daughter, Irene—Reenie to the family—would settle in at Bennington, and her twin brother, Kenny, already seemed perfectly happy at Northwestern. So, Sylvie told herself, she should settle in and be happy too. She was about to celebrate her fortieth birthday and was planning a treat. Bob had asked what she wanted and she’d finally decided. After all, she wanted romance. She had everything else.

Sylvie stopped for a moment, sipped her tea, and reflected on how many marriages in their neighborhood had failed. She and Bob were one of the lucky couples. They were happy. They loved each other. But she had to admit that sometimes she felt … well, Bob was always so busy. She’d expected he’d have more time once the kids were gone, but it was only she who had more time. He had filled up his agenda with campaigning, men’s club meetings, and business. But now Sylvie would help him take the time so they could discover themselves as a couple once again. She herself could focus a little more on Bob. Men liked that, even men as evolved as Bob. She’d already ordered some nice nightgowns from Victoria’s Secret. She’d make romantic dinners. She’d bought three bottles of champagne and had them hidden in the old refrigerator in the garage, waiting for a spontaneous moment to reveal one with a flourish and let Bob pop the cork.

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