Elizabeth Elgin - I’ll Bring You Buttercups

‘Ha! So that’s it! I’m not your saintly Nathan; I’m not Sutton-fair, like Albert! I’m dark, aren’t I, a throwback from the Pendennis woman? I could have been Mary Anne’s, couldn’t I – the son of a herring-wench?’

‘That herring-woman you so despise was honest and hard-working. It was she who laid the foundations for what you take for granted, by gutting fish and taking in washing. Would you had more of her in you!’

‘You say that easily, Father, when your own breeding is flawless; when you were born a Sutton. But none of your friends act as if I were. And I am a Sutton – every bit as much as Nathan and Albert.’

‘You’ll be a Sutton when you have earned the right to be one; earned the right to be treated with respect in society. Servants despise you, as do your equals. There are times I think you are not fit to bear the name!’

‘Well, I am yours – me and Albert both.’ The pouting lips made a sneer of contempt. ‘Didn’t do very well, did you, come to think of it? Two black sheep out of a flock of three?’

‘I see no wrong in your brother.’ The words came through tightly clenched teeth. ‘He married where he thought best.’

‘As you did, Father.’

‘Albert did what he thought right for himself,’ Edward ignored the taunt. ‘And has now settled comfortably in Kentucky.’

There had been a letter, not a week ago, from Albert’s wife; a charming letter, giving their address, now permanent, expressing the wish to meet her husband’s English family, Edward recalled. He had felt great relief, though Clemmy had shrugged it off as social climbing and declared her intention to ignore it.

Well, now she would no longer ignore it. Now she would reply, welcoming her son’s wife to the family, thanking her for the offer of hospitality; an offer, did Clementina but know it, they were soon to accept.

‘Ha! Breeding horses, aren’t they?’ Elliot laughed derisively. ‘And horses are all he’ll ever get, bedding a woman that old, the stupid …’

‘Stop it! I won’t listen to your gutter talk. Your coarseness disgusts me. Get out of my sight! Go to your room and stay there until the doctor has seen to your mother, and that’s an order! Show your face outside this house and you’ll be sorry, I guarantee it. Get out, before I lose control and finish what was started last night, because I’ll tell you this, Elliot; whoever did that to you has my heartfelt gratitude!’

‘There now – wasn’t the climb worth it? You say Rowangarth is beautiful –’ Julia’s sweeping arm took in fields and trees, cornfields still brightly green, meadows of grazing cows. From Holdenby Pike they saw woodland below them and farmland and red-tiled cottages in early summer gardens,’ – but that is a view to take with you back to London. And over there – in the clearing – that’s Pendenys Place, where the other Suttons live. Isn’t it grand?’ she laughed.

‘Grand? It’s like a Scottish castle gone wrong! What a bleak place it looks.’

‘Bleak and proud, Andrew, and just a little vulgar, I’m afraid. Pa’s brother lives there. I like Uncle Edward, but Aunt Clemmy has moods; tempers, too. I think, sometimes, that she and Elliot deserve each other. And maybe now some good will come out of what happened in Brattocks, because Elliot got a hiding from Dwerryhouse and he’ll have his father to face, too.

‘And since cousin Elliot will take quite some time to apologize for his behaviour, we won’t have to endure his visits to Rowangarth. Sit down, darling.’ She sank on to the tough, springy grass, pulling her knees to her chin, clasping them with her arms. ‘You know, Andrew, I only hope Aunt Clemmy won’t try to stop Nathan visiting when he comes home. Nathan’s the middle son – the nice one. Giles and he are good friends, so Giles wouldn’t like it either. But at least Hawthorn seems none the worse. You’re sure she’s all right?’

‘She’ll be fine. I could find nothing seriously wrong with her. She’s taken it remarkably well; I can see no reason why she shouldn’t walk in the woods as she always did, to meet her Tom. She should be quite safe with the ferocious Morgan to protect her.’

‘That spoiled old dog; who’d have thought it? But it would be awful if she couldn’t see Tom – even though it’s only for a few minutes. Still, there’ll be two keepers on the lookout, now; and one of them with a very itchy trigger finger.’ Julia laughed her delight, then all at once was serious. ‘I mustn’t make light of it, though. Just think what might have happened if he’d – well –’

To be raped by Elliot Sutton would be terrible enough; to bear a child of that rape was unthinkable.

‘But he didn’t, Julia. Don’t upset yourself by what might have been. Dear little Hawthorn will soon be over the trauma of it. Everyone has been kind to her, and understanding – and she has her young man to comfort her.’

‘Yes, I accept that.’ Julia would not be gainsaid. ‘But what would have been done about it if he’d got her pregnant?’

‘Done? Well – he could have been sent to prison.’

‘And what about Hawthorn? And not just Hawthorn; any woman attacked like that? Well, I’ll tell you. Society would tut-tut, then send the poor soul to the nearest workhouse out of sight, if she didn’t have an understanding family to support her. And the child labelled illegitimate, too, yet both of them innocent. No help for a woman, though; no moral help to save her having to suffer so. Is that fair, Andrew; is it right?’

‘Julia, my love, it is neither fair nor right, but to end a pregnancy for any reason at all is illegal. I don’t make the laws, I just obey them; no matter what I might think to the contrary.’

‘Then you agree with me? You agree there should be some form of birth control for a woman; some say in what happens to her? Would you believe, Andrew, there is a woman in the village carrying her eighth child, with heaven only knows how many miscarriages in between. The midwife fears for her safety this time, so why can’t that poor, worn-out woman call enough and be allowed to limit her pregnancies? Because it is possible; you know it is.’

‘Possible – desirable – but forbidden.’

‘I know. Everything is forbidden, isn’t it, if it even remotely benefits women! And forbidden by men who make the laws, too!’

‘My darling lassie – I agree with all you say. I’m not supposed to, but I do. I think women should have the right to a say in what affects them most. Some uncaring men have been legally killing women for as long as I can remember. And I think women should have the same voting rights as men. And it will come; it will.’ Gathering her close, he smoothed back a tendril of hair which had blown across her face. ‘But please try to take life one hurdle at a time. Don’t put down your pretty head and charge in without thinking. Take things quietly and you’ll get there quicker, in the end. And will you stop your protesting so I can tell you how much I love you – because I do. Right from the start, I loved you.’

‘At first sight, you mean? Don’t tell me the dour doctor believes in such romantic nonsense?’

‘He didn’t, but he does now. You have turned him into a poor creature,’ he smiled. ‘Do you realize that I knelt beside you that night, picked up your wrist and thought, “This is the woman I will marry.” It was a shock; uncanny. I could hardly count your pulse beat. I still can’t believe it.’ He shook his head, bemused.

‘Darling. It was the same for me, too.’ Cupping his face in her hands, Julia was instantly serious, her eyes all at once luminous with need. ‘And if I promise not to rant and rave, will you kiss me? And tell me you’ll always love me? And will you please marry me as soon as we can manage it, because I have such feelings – such wonderful, wanton feelings – tearing through me, that I don’t know how I’m to put up with the waiting till I’m twenty-one, let alone for a whole year.’