Andrew Kaufman - Born Weird

Angie held her hand out. Her seatmate took it. He squeezed, tightly. The phone rang for a fourth time. The plane tilted to the right. Several passengers screamed. The phone rang again and then it was answered.

“I’ll do it!” Angie yelled. “I’ll get them. I’ll get all of them. I’ll bring them to you!”

The back tires hit the runway. The plane slowed. The front wheels touched down and the passengers applauded. Angie breathed out. She realized how tightly she was holding both the phone and the hand of the man in the seat beside her.

“I knew you’d come around,” Grandmother Weird said.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Before we commit to anything …”

“I’d start with Lucy.”

“Well,” Angie said. She looked out the window and then she looked at her hand, which was still engulfed by the meaty palm of her seatmate, “I am in Winnipeg.”

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