Reductress Reductress - How to Win at Feminism - The Definitive Guide to Having It All... And Then Some!

Today, plenty of women are walking around being feminist left and right like it’s no big deal, and they don’t even know it . ****Our duty is to vlog, pin, and tweet about feminism as much as we can until every woman—male or female—is touched by the angel of feminism.

In order for you to understand the feminism of today, let’s take a step back and look at a brief history of feminism from the beginning.

OFFICIAL TIMELINE OF FEMINISM

So there you have it. We’ve come a long way, but we have so much more to do before the metaphorical V is truly equal to the metaphorical D . ’Cause let’s face it: the literal V is absolutely nothing like the literal D ! Here’s why.

DICK VS. VAGINA

Even though we’re no longer smoking two packs a day and sneaking Schnapps to survive a lifetime of housewifery, we still have so much more to do to improve the world for women. From day to night to the morning-after pill, feminism is a work in progress, and you have the power to shape it—with the help of us, a women’s magazine that is now also a book! *

With the right tools and a dependable moisturizing routine, you too can be a beautiful, strong feminist. Heck, you probably are right now and don’t even know it! But you better read this book just to make sure, because there are a lot of things you are probably doing wrong. It’s okay, girlfriend! Nobody’s perfect. **

We’re so glad you’ve decided to join us on this feminist journey through the femwilderness as we reach toward the white light of femquality. Do bring sunscreen. Do bring a bottle of water and a high-protein snack. But please do not bring Jen. We don’t have time to listen to her shit right now. Now let us embark upon our odyssey through womanity!

You may have heard some ladies refer to feminisms, as in, “There is more than one type of feminism.” And they’re right! Feminism is multifaceted, with women of many different backgrounds and privileges working together for equality. Although there are several types of feminists, most feminists fall into one of two camps: Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. Your journey begins with one core decision, a decision you cannot undo once it is made; once you decide to be feminist, you need to know which of these two feminists you’re going to be. To help you decide, here are some definitions we pulled straight from a book (it’s our book; we wrote it).

TAYLOR VS. BEYONCÉ

Which kind of feminist are you ? Write it in the comments! Oh, there’s no comments section in this book? Well, we’re still learning how this whole book thing works. Okay, just write it down on a piece of paper, attach it to a dove, and say your wish three times as you release the dove into the world. That way, you will for sure become a feminist! Good luck!

Plinky the Fairy Witch

Luck you’ll need, yes, luck times three.

You’ll need pluck and you’ll need me!

I’m Plinky the Fairy Witch, enchanté !

I guide new feminists on their way!

So follow me, child, and hear my spell.

I’ll guide you through book club, and potlucks, and hell.

For stresses will stress, and pressure will presh,

When you’re a “FEMINIST” with a capital F !

Tee hee! Too hoo!

Follow me, little you!

I once robbed a bank in Kalamazoo!

DISCLAIMER

Plinky is a second-wave feminist fairy who was trapped in a tampon dispenser at Lilith Fair for twenty years. We think she’s making that bank-robbery thing up, because she doesn’t seem like the type. There is a chance that she’s a dangerous radical, but for our purposes please try to ignore that. She has a lot of great things to say aside from the crime stuff, which, again, is probably not true. Just FYI!

HOW TO FEMINIST

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